LISA SIMPSON FOR PRESIDENT

Sometimes I need a cigarette, not because I smoke, but like as a literary device.

the internet seems like a distant dream

whatever we are on rn is not the internet. It's ads

oh ew is that really what i sowed? eww omigod i am NOT reaping that

at our weekly allstaff meeting at work we always do an icebreaker question. today it was just tell us your hobby. that was the question. and i watched my coworker next to me go into chatgpt and ask it "hobbies." am i working with fake people am i being truman showed what the fuck is going on in here

Everyone warns you agaist going to the supermarket hungry, but nobody tells you about the dangers of going there too full: I do not want any of these things, for I will never require any food again at all!

maybe its because im an asylum seeker but i am of the opinion that even if immigrants and asylum seekers contributed nothing to a nation that nation should not have the right to deport them.

"oh now no-one will do these jobs," well i think its bad that we take advantage of immigrants and asylum seekers' desperation to force them into exploitative jobs that the ordinary citizen is entirely unwilling to put up with.

but your honour thats my emotional support word i overuse

Catholic church doesnt even allow divorce if domestic violence is involved and vatican city wouldnt exist nowadays without the help of Benito fucking Mussolini and yet theres always some motherfucker being like i hope the next pope is pro gay marriage. I hope I get a house from Santa Claus this year. I hope a horse is going to buy me cheese in the grocery store

“you’re so sensitive” i was born with a poet’s soul. bitch

scantily is basically the most classic way to be clad