Not to mention, likeâŚâŚâŚ predators lie. Predators will do one of these carrds with information specifically designed to lure people into a false sense of security.
I could say that Iâm a 15 year old trans indigenous girl named Jess who lives in the inner suburbs of Sydney, and NOT A SINGLE word of that is remotely true, but how do you know??? How do you know whether Iâm telling the truth or not??
But you might read it and think âoh sheâs a minor like me; sheâs Safe to talk toâ or âsheâs trans too she understands me on a personal levelâ or âI know her; her name is Jessâ or âsheâs indigenous, I can take her stances on indigenous topics as Truthâ â but Iâm not any of those things. And if I wrote all that and stated that they were true and you believed me then you would be in an inherently vulnerable position, because you would be believing Iâm your age or have the same gender experiences as you or that Iâm of the same heritage, and meanwhile I could be a predator whoâs specifically trying to target children by making myself out to be both a minor and two different types of minority.
And yeah, people can lie all the time if they want to; thereâs nothing to stop me right now from announcing that Iâm actually American, or Iâm actually 52, or Iâm actually a natural redhead, or Iâm actually [insert something that I am not]. But if its becoming commonplace to lay all your âbasicâ information on the table from the outset then youre gonna start taking that at face value. Youre gonna believe peoples bios. Youâre gonna check someoneâs carrd out and go âoh theyâre a fourteen year old boy from wisconsinâ and every interaction you have with them from then on is going to be through a lens of âtheyre a fourteen year old boy from Wisconsin,â and they might not be.
For the love of GOD please stop sharing your personal details online. You dont need to tell people your actual name. You dont need to share selfies. Godding fuck dont announce to the whole world that you live in a certain specific area and that youâve just been kicked out of home. There are people who will take that information and use it against you.
And if you are ever, EVER going to meet up with an online friend in real life, here are some basic tips that you really absolutely 100% should do:
Do a zoom chat with them first. No, not selfies; selfies can be taken from anywhere. I could google âteenage girl,â screenshot it, and send it to you with the claim that its my face. I could steal someoneâs Facebook photos and claim theyâre mine. Its a lot harder for an adult to con you into thinking theyre a teenager if you insist on doing a zoom call or similar with them first.
If you have a facetime/zoom call/Skype/whatever scheduled, and they cancel it, but still want to meet up in person at the pre-arranged time, DO NOT GO. Straight up say âno, weâll reschedule; how about we Skype at the time we were meant to meet in person instead.â DO NOT MEET UP WITH SOMEONE IF YOU HAVENT VIDEO-CHATTED WITH THEM. DO NOT. If they dont want to Skype with you or keep agreeing to and then dropping out, then thats a fucking huge warning sign.
If they video chat with you and youâre satisfied that they are who they say they are and youre happy to go ahead with the meet, then agree to meet up in the middle of the day in a crowded place. A shopping mall, a busy cafe, etc. Somewhere with lots of people around. Do NOT go somewhere else with them. Do NOT get in their car or go somewhere with fewer people or etc. Hate to break it to you, but it is NOT outside of the realm of possibility that the person youâre meeting is bait to get you somewhere isolated where someone else can grab you. This is a thing that has happened. Easiest way to avoid it? Donât go places alone with your online friend until you know for sure theyâre not dodgy.
Also: TELL SOMEONE WHERE YOU ARE GOING AND WHO YOU ARE GOING TO MEET. It doesnât have to be a parent. Lord knows some of you kids donât trust your parents, and I understand that. But tell SOMEONE. A friend, a sibling, a cousin; whatever. Tell them when youâre going, where youâre going, who youâre meeting, and what the other personâs online details are. If it turns out that theyre a normal human person who is just keen to meet their online friend, then great. But if they turn out to be some kind of creepy whackjob who kidnaps you or something, then at least there is someone out there who can give the police a start point about where you were and who you were meeting.
Online safety is so important and it really freaks me out to see how cavalier some of you kids are with your own safety. There are loads of freaks out there; donât hand your information over to them in a handy little personal bio.