you are still a good person. apparently.

[doesn't understand jacking off] and I'm supposed to... touch my penis? [shaking my head and smiling, murmuring to myself] touching my own penis... [chuckles] what will they come up with next

Something really violent about eating a burrito. Biting a hole in that thing. A sandwich or a taco is different, it's already open, but a well-wrapped burrito is like a complete living thing in your hand, the taut skin protecting a complex network if internal organs. And you put a hole in it, maul it for sustenance, like a wolf on the open plain tearing the throat from a living gazelle. Or perhaps like a guy living in an infested apartment catching a white rat in his hands and just biting into it.

This post would not be gaining this much traction on a normal website

"I'm still kicking" is such a funny way to say "I'm still alive". Like lol. I'm still thrashing. Flailing. Writhing even. The violence remains.

you have to romanticize the mundane or you won’t survive it’s cruel out there so drink your coffee and spray a little extra perfume

People on the internet love to criticize work by Some Guy putting stuff up online for free like it's made by Disney Studios, and talk about Disney movies like they're made by their personal friend Amy, who is just trying her best,

[talking about my favorite characters] okay so THESE two come in a bonded pair and if i think about them too hard i start taking poison damage

much like a beautiful horse i like salt and roaming freely

i’m not even that much of a pervert i can just find the eroticism in anything. doesn’t get me bricked up necessarily i just like to appreciate it.

so ive been meaning to do this poll for a while because my hypothesis is that seattle is the most Tumblr city, likely in the entire world. tumblr has a huge american majority userbase obviously, but just for comparison going forward, only 0.22% of the american population lives in seattle. as of this reblog, this poll is showing 4% of respondents are seattleites. given, this isnt scientific at all, because my blog just has a lot of seattle connections and seattle followers, but it's still an impressive bias

i always see “tag fav fruit” posts but i’ve never seen a fav veg post so rb & tag your favourite vegetable