Cambrian-posting since 1999 @owopabinia - Tumblr Blog

furthest we've ever been

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2886beaconstreet

ao3 asking if i want to see mature content. do i want to see birds in the sky. do i want to feel the wind in my hair and the grass under my feet

queenaegon

i understand all that shit about honor and knighthood and solemn vows but “kingslayer” is simply a bad insult. it sounds cool as fuck. might as well call him the landlord annihilator or the billionaire’s bane.

sexygaywizard

FUCK AMERICA HAPPY 100TH BIRTHDAY CEASAR SALAD 🇲🇽🇲🇽🇲🇽❗❗❗

kaban-bang

evilscientist3

the thing about fruit flies is that in the abstract, they live peaceful and irreproachable lives nibbling on overripe fruit and its attending microbes, but practically speaking they awaken some sort of primordial rage within me. Get off my bananas you little fucks

abundantchewtoys

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kung-laos-hat

Courtesy of The British Museum.

stalinistqueens

We have finally found a worthy boyfriend for the anarchocommunist skeleton.

cbge

enigma i2 but make it girlnigma so she's even more of a gretaling

#r1999

drtrinitysantos

the kids are calling them "stone fruits." they start off small—think cherries. then they're hooked and they need a quick fix, they get peaches, maybe some nectarines. it's all they can think about. before you know it, they're trying the really hard stuff—apricots, plums. once they taste a mango there's no going back.

ouroborosorder

my friends and I have created a game we call Quipposting, where you play quiplash but you roll a wheel full of character archetypes, and whatever it lands on, you all answer as if you are like, a wizard or cowboy. This legitimately makes quiplash go from a fun enough game to an S+ tier absolute unabashed banger

ouroborosorder

the best characters are Mafia Goon, Cyberpunk Hacker, Castle Guard, Sewer Rat, 16th Century Peasant, and Alien Poorly Pretending to be Human

clamberingcat

OP we desperately need examples

ouroborosorder

these are all from mafia goonposting but I think it’s my absolute favorite one of all time so I have a lot of pictures from it. Turn on some jazz and wait until people start talking in the accent and you’ll make Magic

superdaisypowerhour

"if i had a time machine i would go back in time and kill hitler"

I would put sea mines around medieval britain. i would give hannibal barca ww2 era heavy artillery and tell him not to stop till he starts seeing gauls. i would give boudica a fucking abrams. i would appear before jesus like an angel and tell him "you gotta stop. not cause theyll kill you, youre fine with that, surprisingly, but because your fanclub is gonna spend about 1500 years making everything worse for everyone, everywhere." I would take a glock back in time and shoot romulus, shoot remus, and shoot that damn dog too just to be safe. i would be on the side of christopher columbus' ship in a scuba suit planting c4 on that bitch like rainbow six siege. i would be waging a one woman campaign of terror across andalusia to prevent the reconquista. i would be getting way out in front of that shit is what im saying,

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fuckblast

It's been years and I still haven't found a single sentence on Wikipedia I like more than this one. and quickly learned how to breakdance. The simple statement. Action, result, reaction. White boy stuns latinos. Quickly. His white ass got there and said I need to have something to keep me from being All the White People, and I'm clearly not a boy of combative strength. Breakdancing bluelinked as the perfect little punctuation, reminding you that it is a rich art and sport, making you consider the sort of undertaking that would be. I like this sentence more than some Beck songs.

enba-and-luka

aurpiment

“It’s easy to assume”: someone’s misconception is about to be amiably corrected

“It’s tempting to assume”: someone’s assumption is about to be criticized

“It’s comforting to assume”: someone’s assumption is going to be read for filth

fuck-customers

lesbianshepard

waaaay back when I was a cashier in retail we would talk about dumb shit while unloading the truck, and we got to the "what would you do in a zombie apocalypse" me and another worker were like yeah we would just die. End it all, we can't fight or run or shit. I refuse to put that much effort into survival.

And my manager was like no!!!! If that happened, I would drive to find you guys in my truck and we could eat stuff from my wife's garden and I would make sure everyone I know survived!! I would carry you all on my shoulders away from the zombies!!

Anyway, random shout out to that guy. You were too kind for retail management, Devin.

lesbianshepard

also afterwards everyone who was talking about their cool bunker fantasies were like "Damn, Devin's right, we should also be considering helping people around us." which is the only recorded instance of a retail shift making people better human beings.

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

anukfilli

i was trying to make a meme but i fucked up the audio layering and

kira-serialfaggot

Listening to happy music to get through the disassociative episode

aberrantemotion

this feels like adhd with depression

argentinasexogay

Sports broadcasts should have an RPF expert. Just so that we know the full implications of what's happening onscreen.

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Cambrian-posting since 1999