Clamberin'

"Friends with benefits" and the benefit is being my friend :)

We can also fuck nasty or whatever

yeah what is it

its behind the read more button

I think that if you had enough daughters AND played your cards right you could spring Mambo Number Five out at the EXACT right gathering and shatter your entire family's trust forever

The secret is to name them out of order with the lyrics so by the time anyone catches on it's too late

For me personally the ideal gathering would be my funeral

It's fucked up that you can contract "good night" to "g'night" just fine but it if you try to do the same for "good luck" it sounds like you're throating the person you're talking to tip-to-base

They say ooooh be a good boy for daddy and you'll get a reward. But then the reward is just gay sex. This is bullshit. I wanted a skateboard

Then they say if you're a bad boy daddy will punish you. But what's the punishment? More gay sex! You can't escape it. This whole damn place is in the pocket of Big Sex

(in love with you) (bursting at the seams to talk to you) (heart teeming chest aching) hey how are you

Tonight's performance of Waiting for Godot has been cancelled. We apologize for the inconvenience. Please see the box office for a complimentary voucher to tomorrow night's performance.

at the gym telling everyone the weights would be easier to lift if we all work together

I. WHY.

the more people you have lifting an object the less amount of force each individual person will need to apply to it to lift it

Just drank a hot cup of Hava 🍵

What is hava

Hava niceday