Dopest Dope

get ur cute relationship out of my sight can’t you see i’m busy being alone bitter and disgusting 

shout-out to the person i overheard today rushing into an antiques shop to ask, very urgently, ‘do you have any silver crosses?’. wishing you well in your fight against the creatures of darkness, friend

i’m sorry for making your life more whimsical and serendipitous 🙄

-my cat when I yell at him for running around the house as fast as possible at 3am

cats will be like "mreep" and every human in the vicinity will be like yes maam youre so right you know everything we love you

REMEMBER: THE INTERNET DRAINS YOUR SPIRITUAL ENERGY AND THE ONLY THING THAT CAN REPLENISH IT IS GAS STATION DICK PILLS AND CAPRI SUN

Very Good Trope: Civillian is told “ stay in the car” while hero goes to confront villain. Hero gets in over head and all seems disaster. Civillian crashes car into villain. 

Me, watching: ohhohoho! But they stayed in the car! Yesss, this is very good!

thanks for making me this hot tea bro. Why did the steam make the shape of a skull and crossbones when you stirred it lol