babygirlifying old men since 2014

humiliating to be attracted to a conventionally attractive person. I thought I was a more sensitive and refined pervert than this

lets have phone sex over walkie talkies

“bend over” “bend what? over”

I hate this place

i get why people don't believe in marriage as a social construct but legally it is the best and easiest way to say "this is who i trust to take care of me when i can't take care of myself" and i'm so glad gay people fought for that right bc when shit gets scary at least i know im in good hands

boobs is better than titties as a word because boobs is bouba while titties is kiki

mozzarella and parmesan is kind of like the age gap yuri of cheese

I kind of miss the impulsivity that certain spaces used to allow. oh you want a hair cut today? hairdresser in the corner can fit you in before her 2 o’clock. tattoo of a cobra… sure leg or arm? even concerts, back when you could go to the box office thirty mins before any show. not saying these things don’t exist at all, but everything feels booked five months in advance and 10x more expensive

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

sixpencee got less hate for straight-up admitting to owning a child slave than I do for saying children shouldn't be treated as property

like i'll say "parents should not be able to unilaterally override their child's consent" and some dipshit will see the word consent and the smoke from the hollowed-out crater that used to be their critical thinking skills will immediately coalesce into a message in my ask box calling me a pedo. no fucking hope for any of you

well maybe you should blearily wake up at 5:08 in the pre-dawn light and find the sleeping soft tiny mammal body of your cat just inches from your head like a miracle too beautiful for speech, and you should rustle one hand out from your blankets to rub fingertip circles across the warm eggshell dome of her little velvet-wrapped skull and on the bristly patches just where the cups of her ears begin, and as she inclines her head into your fingers and purrs without ever opening her little eyes you should feel a love so tender that you understand how that love could have reached out from the fireside into the inky spangled nights long gone to reach her, and then you'll feel better

[Image ID: Tumblr tag from hotTubSharts reading: and then maybe she'll wake you again at 6 to the sound of her puking on the floor. maybe /End ID]