Infinite Loop

@oudeteron

The idea that they must accommodate respectability to “a reasonable extent” while still trying to maintain the illusion of progressive politics, honestly.

I got fed up with being misgendered every time I left the house.

Some would say that’s social dysphoria, but I don’t agree with this idea of locating the “wrong” in the individual person when it’s society that coercively genders people based on a few outdated rules about looks. I never liked boring macho outfits and I didn’t want to put on an overly masculine performance just to try to avoid the misgendering that way (and even then, I probably would’ve been just assumed to be a butch lesbian and misgendered anyway because of my “girly” features).

As it is now, I can dress in whatever I want, I don’t bother binding or packing (I never did as I have no problem with my anatomy), I can grow my hair, I can wear bright colours or not, and still after years on T no one questions me to the point of degendering. They may be thinking I’m “girly” or whatever, but they don’t assume “this person must be female”. So I can go places and not fret over this constantly. I don’t have to explain myself to every random stranger or endure the misgendering instead. I don’t have to deal with people’s cissexism every single time I interact with anyone who doesn’t already know me. It definitely brought my stress levels down.

I got fed up with being misgendered every time I left the house.

Some would say that’s social dysphoria, but I don’t agree with this idea of locating the “wrong” in the individual person when it’s society that coercively genders people based on a few outdated rules about looks. I never liked boring macho outfits and I didn’t want to put on an overly masculine performance just to try to avoid the misgendering that way (and even then, I probably would’ve been just assumed to be a butch lesbian and misgendered anyway because of my “girly” features).

As it is now, I can dress in whatever I want, I don’t bother binding or packing (I never did as I have no problem with my anatomy), I can grow my hair, I can wear bright colours or not, and still after years on T no one questions me to the point of degendering. They may be thinking I’m “girly” or whatever, but they don’t assume “this person must be female”. So I can go places and not fret over this constantly. I don’t have to explain myself to every random stranger or endure the misgendering instead. I don’t have to deal with people’s cissexism every single time I interact with anyone who doesn’t already know me. It definitely brought my stress levels down.

I got fed up with being misgendered every time I left the house.

Some would say that’s social dysphoria, but I don’t agree with this idea of locating the “wrong” in the individual person when it’s society that coercively genders people based on a few outdated rules about looks. I never liked boring macho outfits and I didn’t want to put on an overly masculine performance just to try to avoid the misgendering that way (and even then, I probably would’ve been just assumed to be a butch lesbian and misgendered anyway because of my “girly” features).

As it is now, I can dress in whatever I want, I don’t bother binding or packing (I never did as I have no problem with my anatomy), I can grow my hair, I can wear bright colours or not, and still after years on T no one questions me to the point of degendering. They may be thinking I’m “girly” or whatever, but they don’t assume “this person must be female”. So I can go places and not fret over this constantly. I don’t have to explain myself to every random stranger or endure the misgendering instead. I don’t have to deal with people’s cissexism every single time I interact with anyone who doesn’t already know me. It definitely brought my stress levels down.

So I'm just going to come out and say it: if you're a self-identified truscum or transmed and only want to reblog my posts to go "yikes" like a petulant five-year old or tell me how much you disapprove, save yourself the trouble and don't touch this blog.

Once ever I submitted an abuse report, after receiving some pretty vile harassment from popular “LGBT” bloggers for using the word “queer” with more flippancy than they in their infinite 18-year-old wisdom felt I was entitled to as a self-identified queer person. Nothing was done. And Tumblr culture, much as I dislike using the term, is all about “justifiable” bullying - even though half the time you’re bullying other marginalised people who have perfectly good reason not to be satisfied with juvenile “us versus them, my identity is more valid than yours and I have more followers so shut up” politics.

AO3 isn’t anyone’s thought police and the internet should not be treated as daycare. I absolutely loathe some types of content myself, e.g. noncon being treated like it’s not a bad thing, but AO3 doesn’t actually stop me from criticising those things. And I understand, unlike the antis, that writers don’t owe me, a complete stranger, a full personal history to “prove” when they are in fact using it as a coping mechanism. You are not entitled to that degree of personal surveillance and you should in fact be alarmed that’s becoming the norm.

None of this means you can’t criticise or reject specific content. You can and there are many situations where you should. But this current climate of arbitrarily picking unspeakable topics and branding everyone who even tangentially disagrees with any part of how this policing is done an apologist for that topic isn’t how it’s done. Context exists and you should exercise enough discretion to tell whether you’re genuinely helping anything or just picking on other marginalised people who aren’t in a position to do any harm to anyone in reality.

Exactly, I don't experience gender categories the way I'm "supposed to" according to definitions made by neurotypicals who already had a problem with the concept of anyone being attracted to two genders and no more. This idea that sexuality "just exists" in a few universal categories without any personal, situational, mental etc modifiers and everyone has to experience it the same way isn't as helpful as people pretend it is. Especially to LGBTQ+ people who overlap with e.g. being autistic. There's nothing wrong with that because we're not all about "faking" your NT identity.

Hey I’m moving out at the end of this month to get away from an unsafe situation. If you could donate any bit of money I would really appreciate it. Please send me an ask if you donate and I will draw you a sketch. Thank you!