Nov 25, 2024
I think you can tell a lot about how rigorous and committed someone's belief in a human right is by how quickly they are able to name people who they think could or should have that right taken away.
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I think you can tell a lot about how rigorous and committed someone's belief in a human right is by how quickly they are able to name people who they think could or should have that right taken away.
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Along with the "how do we stop young men turning into angry radical right-wing types" discourse there's been a lot of discourse about the need for cishet male allies of the cause to stand up to their racist, sexist, homophobic etc. male friends and tell them to stop being those things, and other people saying "I've tried that and it doesn't really work, they just call me a fag and then stop hanging out with me."
And yeah, given that the left and right are more divided than ever it is kind of strange to assume that a male feminist is going to be hanging out with a bunch of sexist dudebros who will take it to heart when they make a rape joke and he says, "dudes...that was fucked up." That's not how it works.
(Also, yes, I realize that "the right" and "sexist dudebros" are not really the same thing but there's an area of overlap that is specifically being focused on in a lot of this discourse.)
I've been in sort of the Mirror World version of that scenario: being in heavily left-wing spaces, hearing people say fucked up shit about men and being the one who says, "uh that's kinda fucked up why would you say something like that?" and can confirm, yes, this kind of pushback does not work in that context. They just ridicule you and double down on whatever they were saying. Pushing out dissenting voices is a time-honored bonding ritual for these types of groups.
On the other hand, when I am alone with an actual friend, someone I care about who also cares about me, and they say something fucked up and I respond with shocked silence or a quiet "hey now," they usually backpedal pretty quickly.
So I guess if you're trying to stop someone from going down a rabbit hole my advice is not to confront them in a group setting or online where other people can witness the confrontation, especially if you are in a setting where most onlookers are likely to side with them. Talking to them alone, and in a less confrontational way, is what actually gets results.
Getting the player characters in my Dungeons & Dragons campaign entangled in an extraplanar racing circuit with events sponsored by various cities throughout the Lower Planes and seeing how long I can keep it going before they realise the entire exercise was an excuse to have a major campaign event called "the Dis course".
Miss Manners is adding denouncing political correctness to her list of conversational prefaces from which no good ever follows. When people announce that they plan to abandon the rules of civilized discourse, they should be taken seriously. The response should be "Well, if you are in favor of being offensive, I'd rather not hear more."
Judith Martin, Minding Miss Manners In an Era of Fake Etiquette
“there’s too much zutara content in the natla tag!”
that is because zutara was the only good thing about that show. i hope this helps
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I think it's hilarious that that ka shipper running that "Katara Week" on twitter and blocking zutara shippers is like "no this is about Katara, NOT about ships," but one of the prompts is "Katara and the people who love her" and their reasons for blocking zutara shippers is alllll ship discourse started by kas trying to insist that something zutara shippers did was racist and zutara shippers ignoring them or calling them out on attempting to virtue signal and weaponize racism, sometimes against poc.
Like, if you want ka week, just call it that. This disingenuous behavior is what's got people calling it out, more than wanting anything to do with any event run by someone who behaves that way. What's worse is the attempt to weaponize a ship week against the fandom that created ship weeks. And these people want to tell us it's about Katara. Sure.
two quick notes to anyone in the phm fam who might need to hear it:
if you mean aroace, say aroace - not acespec. the latter is more broad and is meant to encompass all possible ace identities
it is 100% possible to have a discussion about sex without demonizing it. we’re ace, not puritans