Flame in the dark

A really fun ballet thing is when they have like a bunch of actual child extras and also there's clearly some twink jumping around who's meant to also be a little boy but the role involves a level of dancing far too strenuous to make a kid do ethically. This isn't me nitpicking it's not a medium that's remotely focused on realism or whatever I just chuckle a little

It's just really funny visually. To me. There'll be like children prancing in the background & this guy who's like 20 serving unfathomable cunt & he's supposed to be like 8

saw my coworker reading gideon the ninth today and tried to act like I’m normal about the locked tomb but I don’t think I succeeded

UPDATE: I’m bringing them my copy of nona tomorrow 🥰

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

no no no the relationship to the patient is "royal consort", not significant other. I can see you typing significant other

Most annoying online emotion is "I have a funny personal anacdote to add to this but it doxxes like all of my personal information"

i think its charming when peoples personal lives improve and they get drastically worse at posting

prayer to whichever dead catholic person is most appropriate: may I not have to run a whole week of surprise camps on crutches. in a knee brace.

Im agnostic raised liberal protestant, but absolutely the catholics got saints right. Sometimes your problem is so fucking specific you need Some Guy. If you're listening, Guy of Workers Who Have Strain Injuries,

what the dog doin

you can post on tumblr even when you're trying to take a break from social media it literally doesn't count. it's like pepsi max, or pescatarianism

Looking up the dates for astrological signs so I know when to hatch dragons of the zodiac set but shaking my head the whole time so people know I don't agree with astrology

Please, call me Frankenstein. Frankenstein was my father, but stealing his name and overriding his presence in the dominant cultural consciousness has been really, really satisfying

(To the tune of Rasputin): BLEH BLEH DRACULA, KING OF TRANSYLVANIA, HE IS A BAT AND ALSO A MAN

Vote for me I'll bring back the dinosaurs

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

Every time I go they put me in a chair and they say look into this machine there's a hot air balloon or a farmhouse in there and I do and I'm like you're right I see it and they're like yeah keep admiring that hot air balloon or farmhouse and I do and I'm like this shit's quaint as fuck and then do you know what happens next they attack me they jumpscare me with air directly into my eyeballs and i fall out the chair and they say sorryyyy but they're NOT they wanted this to happen they KNEW about the jumpscare well now I'm wise to it now I know better when I go in and they say look at this bodacious hot air balloon I'm like NO WAY DUDE that balloon wishes me harm have at thee and I attack them and push them on the ground and spit on them