Oh Hey! You Found Me!

insanity that they trained us to dislike body hair. body hair. that's just fuzz. that is just FUZZINESS!!! humans being fuzzy, it's one of our most adorable traits????

Me when I hiccup

I'm Not Certain Any Human Being Has Described The Experience You Are Describing

Your bones don't ache after hiccuping one too many times?

*inhales*

Careful, if you do that fast enough it hurts your bones

they should make "i was brave at the dentist" stickers but for trans women going to the grocery store and it would say "i was transgender at the grocery store" and it would have a picture of shadow the hedgehog in a lolita dress holding a gun

the most fun a girl can have is finding parallels, noticing patterns, making connections, contemplating

youtubers should do reverse sponsorships. just interrupt the narrative of the video to shit-talk some random company for 1-2 minutes.

all i'm getting from the tags and replies on this post is the butter pillow has cast a devious spell on most of you. you have fallen for the trap of the butter pillow.

how easily the human will crumples in the face of the butter pillow

blood work? i sure hope it does

Honestly MK being one of the characters to cry the most in the series makes sense considering he was raised by a dude that is a reincarnation of China's biggest cry baby

I will do anything to be free

Even escape?

I dont know. Can i do that

every so often i remember that i love vampires and get real excited about it. i’m listening to my music and a vampire song came on and just. oh yeah :] vampires :] i could watch a vampire movie or read a vampire story later if i so wished. that’s so awesome……. i love vampires

pavement song came on next and i just remembered that stephen malkmus exists and i love stephen malkmus. things are looking up for me……

this girl was showing all the signs of being a secret mermaid so i pushed her into the pool and she turned into a forty foot long mosasaurus which is tbh way cooler

not really sure how to get her out though

for those of you asking why i pushed her into the pool in the first place: i work for a duplicitous small town aquarium and i'm trying to kidnap mermaids to jump through hoops and shit to entertain tourists and make money. fucking obviously. now that i know she's actually a mosasaurus though i Have fallen in pure-hearted love with her