shhhhhhhh

you have a fetish for being... tied up...? [winces] but how would you move?

getting home is so epic it's like lol i'm home

forget everything anyone has ever told you on the matter the truest marker of adulthood is starting to hear the siren call of high quality kitchenware

This is what people meant when they called me an old soul because I had a crush on a whisk at my grandma's house as a kid

I once sent a woman a text message so interesting that she took three whole days to read it

wow you have dogshit taste (remembers im trying to be nicer to people who like different things) uh i mean, it's beautiful how the breadth of human experience is so wide it encompasses those with good taste and those with dogshit taste

if i was a soccer player i'd simply kick that ball in the goal instead of wasting everyone's time

I’m gonna propose “I guess you haven’t read the silmarillion then :/” as a default response to anyone not understanding a reference to something obscure. even if it’s not remotely Tolkien related. I want to build up a perception that perhaps the sum total of human knowledge is contained in the silmarillion