oof juice

If the only thing that has kept you going was outliving Mitch McConnell, imma need yall to pick a new person to outlive and fast. Your mission is not over.

cant believe i have to pick another person to outlive already

can we just skip to the part where I’m about to marry the love of my life and I’m financially stable and happy & all this shit is behind me already

Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.

The most delicious food in the world is protected by tiny demons who can defend it from everyone except you. Your natural armor is thick enough that you can just eat the damn hive while they buzz around you. God's chosen animals right there

love the idea of bears being the chosen species actually. having a near death experience and glimpsing heaven and realising it's just full of bears, no humans at all, humans not ensouled actually, humans an accidental byproduct of God's plan for bears

God made humans so we could provide enrichment to bears in the form of puzzle boxes full of snacks and sometimes the snack is cocaine

hey just so you know, op of that post you reblogged let the dogs out :/

who?

who?

who?

who?

The entirety of the Apollo 11 mission took up less computer storage and computation space than a single instance of Microsoft Outlook running in the background.

non-binary people don’t call themselves Moss or Arson anymore and that needs to change. come back. name yourself Salt. name yourself Elf. name yourself weirdly, but Name Yourself. it’s YOUR name, no one else’s.

Girl you are an obligate carnivore

but her appel