𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐬𝐨𝐧 .

i wasn’t intending to; if artemis fawley could kick herself, now would have been the moment to do it. she’d adopted this forward attitude at some point during the end of her schooling, she’d decided that she was tired of hiding. even after everything that had happened, it seemed that that attitude had not be destroyed but dormant. he’d coaxed something in her, that want she’d had all those years ago. her gaze is drawn back to his as he asks, that flush burning down her neck and the beginnings of that smirk just returning, softened on her face. perhaps, she wasn’t wrong after all. her heart seemed to pause for a moment as she searches his eyes for malice, for a gotcha moment; she can’t find either.   “ yes, ”   she breaths out quietly, a minute nod of her head.   “ i would ‘ave said yes if tha’s what ye’d meant, i thought tha’ was implied. ”

                he  lets  out  a  small  laugh,  genuine  although  slightly  nervous.   ‘  i  told  you  i  don’t  know  what  i’m  doing.  i  wanted  to  make  sure.   ’   she  could  have  been  teasing,  the  suggestion  had  been  forward  enough.  taliesin  wasn’t  going  to  ask  her  to  tell  him  what  he  should  do,  but  he  needed  to  make  sure  he  understood  where  she  was.   especially  if  he  still  wasn’t  sure  about  that  on  his  own  front.   ‘   but  alright.   ’   he  returns  her  nod,  and  squeezes  her  hand  lightly.   ‘   i’m  not  sure   …   that  my  cousin’s  potions  laboratory  is  where  i  would,  but  now  i  know  to  offer.   ’   there’s  a  slight  pause  before  he  adds  another  thought  that  almost  surprises  himself,   ‘   i  still  owe  you  a  book  translation.   ’   it’s  a  reminder,  but  also  a  new  offer  if  she’d  like  to  take  it.  maybe  not  here,  but  he’d  ask  her  in  a  place  he  was  more  comfortable.

“ maybe, ”   artemis repeats quietly as though in agreement. it was a far fetched dream of a young girl, being able to bring friends back home to meet her family — friends that would accept who she was rather than look at her with fear. taliesin didn’t fear her, as far as she could see. she wondered sometimes, if that was the reason he did not share much of himself with her. then here was another dream entirely of bringing someone she loved back with her, beginning to crop up in her teenage years, that felt utterly impossible. maybe not so much anymore, not with the way tal was looking at her right now.

“ are y’offerin’? ”   the words are out of her mouth before she can think about them; simultaneously, her gaze flicking from his to his lap and back, a quirk of her eyebrow, and the slightest pull of a smirk. she wouldn’t mind sitting in his lap, wouldn’t mind being closer to him. then her mind catches up with her tongue and she winces,  “ sorry. ”  turning her head from his gaze slightly.   “ that was —, ”  her cheeks heating, nose still crinkled.   “ likely no’ appropriate a’all. i — ah, i’m okay t’stand. ”

                  it  took  him  a  second  to  catch  her  implication.  partially  because  it  had  not,  in  fact,  been  what  he  was  suggesting,  but  also  because  there  was  something  about  the  small  smirk  that  appeared  on  her  features  that  was  more  distracting  than  it  should  have  been.  taliesin’s  eyes  lingered  on  her  mouth  for  perhaps  a  moment  too  long,  before  meeting  her  eyes  and  blinking,  trying  to  figure  out  why  she  said  the  words   like  that.   ‘   oh,   ’   he  says,  flushing  slightly  but  there’s  a  part  of  him  that’s  spurred  on  by  that  look  that  he’d  found  for  a  moment  on  her  face.   ‘   i  wasn’t  intending  to,   ’   he  says  carefully,  tilting  his  head  to  the  left  but  keeping  his  focus  on  her.   ‘   would  you  have  said  yes   ?   if  that’s  what  i  had  meant.   ’   maybe  he  didn’t  know  what  he  was  supposed  to  do,  but  learning  was  an  option.  he  was  good  at  that,  and  the  smirk  had  certainly  quieted  a  lot  of  things…  or  perhaps  it  had  just  made  the  opposition  louder.  but  then  he  thinks  about  her  retraction  and  he  wonders  if  he  should  have  said  anything.   ‘   if  you  don’t  want  to  answer  that  i  understand.   ’

there’s a moment when her brow creases as he apologizes and she has to run through what she’d said. it takes her a moment before her eyes widen and she shakes her head,   “ no, don’t. i just — she’s still alive. it’s jus’ i dunnae ken if our relationship would be t’same if i went home now, i was talkin’ about what it was like when i was a lass. ”   she explains, her thumb continuing those soft, mindless patterns on his cheek. she nods quietly as he shakes his head, deferring her own apology. it seemed they felt like they had a lot to apologize for outside of themselves which caused her an ache.   “ i think y’would like them. ”   she offers quietly.   “ they’re — they’re good. ”   there’s so much stress on the one word, so much she tries to say with one syllable.   “ maybe y’can meet them one day. ”   it’s a hope as much as a hopeless venture. she hadn’t been home since she went away to school and there was more than one reason for it. 

                      ‘   oh,   ’   he  says,  nodding  only  so  much  as  he  can  without  unsettling  the  hand  currently  resting  against  his  face.   ‘   i  understand.   ’   his  parents  had  never  been  quite  so  affectionate  as  artemis  painted  her  mother,  but  he  understood  that  sometimes  things  changed  and  you  could  not  go  back.  the  words  perhaps  carried  more  weight  than  he  should  have  let  them,  not  just  the  offhanded  remark  of  understanding  that  comes  easily  in  conversation,  but  a  truthful  admission  that  he  had  some  experience  of  his  own  that  made  him  believe  he  knew  what  that  might  have  been  like.  he’s  still  when  she  assures  him  that  he’d  like  them,  as  an  itching  doubt  creeps  in  regarding  whether  they  would  like  him.  he  shoves  it  back  down,  focusing  instead  on  her  words  and  her  expressions.  he’s  sure  her  assessment  of  them  is  truthful,  but  it  also  seems  a  bit  overwhelming.   ‘   maybe,   ’   he  says,  but  not  in  a  discouraging  way,  rather  a  slight  apprehension  at  the  idea  of  something  so  different  from  what  he  was  used  to.  he  pauses,  and  looks  up  at  her  with  like  a  bit  of  concern  on  his  features,   ‘   do  you  want  to  sit  down   ?   ’   she  was  the  one  who  had  the  ordeal  the  previous  night,  while  he  had  slept   (   or  at  least  attempted  to   )   in  a  comfortable  bed,  safely  guarded  by  the  wards  of  his  cousin.  it  felt  strange  that  he  should  be  the  one  resting,  sitting  while  she  stood  over  him,  even  if  it  had  been  necessary  in  the  moment.

relief burns through her as he says no, tightens his grip on her hand. her lips quirk upwards, offsetting the blush that reddened her face. she could live in this little bubble, content to stay as they were so long as he was gentle with himself and her.   “ m’immediate family is only me and m’ma, she’s t’only one i have. she and i were close, affectionate, ”   she’s taking the time to explain quietly to him. the past tense of the words in the second phrase a noticeable switch.   “ but, aye, t’village is also like tha’. one big family. they helped t’raise me as m’ma did with their kiddos. i grew up knowin’ tha’ no matter who i went t’they would always take care o’ me and i was the same way, still am i suppose. ”   there’s something shy about talking about her family so openly.   “ tha’s why it was easy t’have dinner together every night, everyone knew where t’kiddos were and it was easy t’round everyone up at t’end of the day. ”   her eyes had glazed a little bit as she recounted the memories before she blinks, refocusing on him.   “ sorry, you asked about family an’ i gave y’more than tha’. ”

                   taliesin  catches  the  change  in  tense  in  artemis’s  discussion  of  her  mother.   ‘   i’m  sorry,   ’   he  says,  not  certain  exactly  what  circumstances  he  was  offering  his  condolences  for  but  feeling  like  he  should  anyway.  the  only  death  he  had  been  close  to  was  his  grandfather’s,  and  he  and  rhys  lestrange  had  hardly  been  a  close  pair.  he  nods,  taking  in  the  words  she  was  saying  and  trying  to  imagine  what  it  was  like.  he  had  never  found  the  lestrange  estate  lonely  when  he  was  a  child,  even  when  he  was  the  only  person  inside  it  besides  his  parents  and  tinpy,  so  the  idea  of  that  many  people  sounded  almost  overwhelming.  he  tries  to  focus  on  why  she  liked  it:  people  to  care  for  you,  familiarity…  those  were  wants  he  could  understand.  the  lestranges  had  their  family  first  mentality,  but  that  felt  more  cutthroat  than  what  she  was  describing.  it  wasn’t  care  for  any  individual  member,  but  for  some  greater  thing  outside  them  all.  he  shakes  his  head  when  she  apologizes,   ‘   it  helps.   ’   he  thinks  about  it  for  a  moment  and  confirms  his  own  sentiment  again,   ‘   i  don’t  really  have  anything  like  that  so   …   the  more  you  give  me,  the  more  i  understand.  my  family’s  very  different  from  what  you  had.   ’

the way he says the word  don’t  should solidify in her mind that he doesn’t want her to apologize for what she’d done. the feeling of his thumb running over her knuckles is addicting, he hadn’t done that before. she was always the one to reach out, she was always the one to initiate. as if in tandem, her thumb starts a slow trail over his cheek, relishing in the feeling of his warm skin under her palm. truthfully, she didn’t have an answer for him. she couldn’t tell him what to do. what she didn’t know was that she’d grown up so completely opposite of him, in a world that was unafraid of and content to give affection freely.    “ y’ll learn, ”   she offers quietly.   “ y’ll start t’jus’ do things because y’want too. like this, ”   her fingers squeeze gently around his and refer to the way he’d kissed her knuckles.   “ i jus’ like showin’ physical affection more than anythin’ else, but that doesn’ mean y’have t’as well. ”   a pause.   “ do y’want me t’stop? ”   she’s fairly certain of the answer, but she feels like she has to ask. she needs that confirmation more than she’d previously thought. she doesn’t encroach any further on his space than she already is, but the question is an offer in reverse.  do you want me to continue?

                  he  didn’t  need  her  to  tell  him  what  he  should  do,  he  just  wanted  her  to  understand  the  uncertainty,  the  reason  he  stiffened  at  things  like  that.  the  lestranges  were  hardly  physically  affectionate  people,  and  so  the  tenderness  with  which  she  interacts  with  him  is  unfamiliar  territory.  if  she  understood  that,  and  wasn’t  expecting  him  to  suddenly  be  where  she  was.  that  seemed  like  enough  for  the  time  being.   ‘   no,   ’   he  replies  to  her  question, tightening  his  grip  on  her  hand  just  slightly.  he  didn’t  want  her  to  move  away  from  him  at  this  point,  now  that  he  had  found  comfort  in  her  return.  the  battle  inside  him  was  quieter  for  a  moment  as  he  spoke  the  word,  one  side  holding  off  the  other  to  allow  him  this  moment.   ‘   was  your  whole  family,  …  or  village,  like  that  ?   ’   he  asks  gently.  it  seems  like  the  logical  reason  that  she’d  know  how  to  navigate  that  space  better  than  he  did,  another  aspect  of  their  lives  that  was  quite  different  giving  them  different  places  of  understanding.   ‘   do  you  think  of  them  as  your  family  ?   ’   it’s  an  unrelated  question,  but  it  has  been  sparked  in  his  mind  as  he  was  still  unsure  which  term  to  use.

that concern doesn’t leave her, but her gaze does soften as he reaches for her hand and wraps it in his own. since the night at the seance, his fingers squeezing around hers had become something more than what it appeared to be. reassurance lingered in that touch and something else that she dare not name,   “ okay. ”   she’d known she hadn’t done anything out of step and yet hearing confirmation of that lightens her chest. she nods, remaining quiet, when he says that he doesn’t want to talk about whatever had sent him into that spiral and again she says,   “ okay. ”  she lets him have the space he requires, a quiet sound escaping the back of her throat as he tugs her forward. for once, he’s done something unexpected. the gentle kiss placed against her knuckles causes a flash of heat through her, a catching of her breath. the way his eyes never leave hers — oh, is she in trouble. she takes another step forward, her legs bumping against his knees. she can feel his breath across her hand and her heart jumps.   “ yer welcome, ”   although the phrase comes out breathless.   “ but y’don’t ‘ave t’thank me fer t’truth. ”   with her free hand, she reaches up to cup his cheek but it holds the same tentativeness as his motion did.   “ i — ‘m sorry if i startled y’earlier with t’cheek kiss i just — ”   there’s almost a sheepish expression on her face, that blush lingering, as her shoulders rise and fall. 

                  eyebrows  flick  upward  slightly  at  the  noise,  pausing  slightly  before  he  continues.  he  didn’t  want  to  do  the  wrong  thing,  but  it  sounded  like  encouragement  rather  than  something  that  should  make  him  turn  away.  after  he  runs  his  thumb  over  her  knuckles,  where  his  lips  had  been  a  moment  before,  and  he  can  feel  their  legs  pressed  together.  the  adrenaline  from  the  moment  before  has  not  subsided,  and  the  entire  interaction  feels  charged  with  some  kind  of  energy  he  cannot  quite  explain.  he  gives  a  small  shake  of  his  head  when  she  tells  him  he  doesn't  have  to  thank  her ;  he  does,  even  if  she  doesn’t  understand  why.  it  almost  makes  him  want  to  say  it  again,  to  get  the  message  across  fully,  but  he  is  distracted  by  the  hand  that  settles  itself  on  his  cheek.   ‘   don’t,   ’   he  replies.   ‘   i’m   ——   ’   a  pause  where  he  tries  to  find  how  to  explain  his  reaction,  having  not  analyzed  the  moment  when  it  had  occurred,   ‘   i  don’t  know  what  i’m  supposed  to  do  when  you  do  things  like  that.  i’m  not   …   used  to  it.   ’   that  was  most  of  it  anyway.  an  internal  conflict  still  lingered  in  his  chest  about  who  they  both  were,  but  it  didn’t  feel  like  now  was  the  time  to  bring  that  to  the  surface.

fingers curl in on themselves after he had stepped away from her, very aware of the space he had once been standing. adrenaline shot through her system as he stumbles backwards, practically collapsing into a chair. the concern that shot through her was undeniable, but she’d kept going. something about what he had said had caused that reaction, she’d not even spoken yet. the gut twisting part was she didn’t know why and she wanted to. there’s a fraction of a moment where she turns around, her attention going to the brew as she speaks before her focus is back on him entirely.  i won’t talk about certain things, he had said. this felt like one of those things, but merlin did her helplessness threaten to drown her. she approaches his chair. it’s one of the rare instances where she gets to look down at him rather than up. there’s something wrong, but she can never peg what it is. 

she’s greeted with his typical response to fill the silence. there’s a moment where she just stands there, watches him before there’s a tentative reach for him, a brush of the back of her hand across his cheek before her hand falls to her side again.   “ are y’okay? ”   and there it was, that concern that never left. it almost felt like he’d never heard the words you’re enough, the way he looked at her now nearly confirmed it. she swallows, wanting to reach for him again, but — this felt delicate and something she would shatter if she pushed to far. fingers twitch at her side as she forces them to stay.   “ i ken tha’ y’won’t talk about certain things, but, ”   she’s shaking her head before she finishes,   “ ’m not goin’ t’judge ye an’ i’m here if y’ever do wan’ t’talk. ”

                  there’s  a  similar  impulse  to  the  night  in  his  apartment,  but  the  movement  is  not  quite  so  sudden  as  it  had  been  that  night.  carefully,  he  reaches  out  to  the  hand  that  she’s  returned  to  her  side  and  wraps  it  in  his  own.   ‘   i’m  okay,   ’   he  reassures  her,  light  squeeze  of  their  entwined  hands.   ‘   you  didn’t  do  anything  wrong,   ’   he  adds.  in  fact,  it  was  the  opposite ;  she  had  been  kinder  to  him  then  he  had  grown  to  expect  after  showing  that  specific  weakness.   ‘   i  just   …    remembered  something.   ’   and  scared  himself  in  doing  so.   ‘   i  don’t  want  to  talk  about  it  though.   ’   he  swallows.  there  was  no  way  he  could.  he  looks  up  at  her,  an  interesting  change  of  pace  for  him,  gratitude  still  in  his  eyes.  he  pulls  her  a  little  bit  closer  by  her  hand,  bringing  it  to  his  lips  to  place  a  cautious  kiss  to  her  knuckles,  never  taking  his  eyes  from  hers    ----    he  didn’t  voice  it,  but  the  motion  had  the  same  wariness  to  it  that  his  earlier   may  i   had,  not  wanting  to  overstep.   ‘   thank  you,   ’   he  whispers  once  he’s  pulled  away  slightly,   ‘   for  what  you  said.   ’

it feels like she’s accidentally picked at something scarred over. she knows the bearing of teeth, the pushing away. it had been a passing thought once before that taliesin lestrange was akin to a wounded animal, harsh in order to protect himself rather than let anyone get close. she swallows, expects his voice to get harsher as she goes on — but he surprises her, the voice he uses gets softer this time. she trails closer, content to think that he will not snap. that somehow, in her confusion, she has done what she’d set out to do and bring him back from wherever he was going. the sheepish nature of his words softens her gaze. her hands were still against him, though the touch had lightened over the course of the conversation.   “ taliesin, ”   it’s all she can say for the moment, fingers moving to brush over his cheek, the undeniable skip in her heart. his name on her tongue is soft, not pitying, but finally understanding. 

i wish it had been you.   “ i don’ think tha, ”   she murmurs, trying to catch his gaze.   “ i don’ think tha’ at all. do y’want t’know wha’ i do think? ”   a quiet moment, her thumb moving over his cheek before settling,   “ i think that thax is insane for coming out at all; merlin, bless ‘im, but i wouldn’ willingly ask anyone t’put themselves in danger fer me. ”   it’s not worth it.   “ i think that i’m — ”   what word even describes how she felt to see him safe? none of them seemed strong enough, but she could settle.   “ i’m relieved tha’ your safe in all of this, that’s important t’me right now. i think tha’ — or maybe i hope tha’ if i needed, y’would come, but i was okay. i promise. you’re good enough. ”

                  he  looks  up  for  a  second,  the  combination  of  the  touch  and  his  full  name  doing  so,  but  after  that  admission  he’s  not  ready  to  meet  her  gaze.  his  heart  is  beating  faster  but  in  a  different  way  than  before,  and  his  mouth  feels  dry.  admitting  to  the  concern  of  not  being  enough,  though  with  more  specific  words  used,  had  been  devastating  before.  taliesin  almost  cannot  believe  he’s  done  it  again.   ‘   ffyc,   ’   he  whispers  to  himself,  stepping  back  and  moving,  thanks  to  memory  of  the  space,  quickly  to  one  of  the  chairs  at  the  table  in  the  middle  of  the  room.   ‘   i’m  sorry.   ’   his  head  feels  somewhat  dizzy.  however,  then  she  begins  to  speak,  and  it’s  soft  and  gentle  and  not  any  of  the  things  he  had  learned  to  expect.  taliesin  looks  up  and  meets  her  gaze  and  listens.

                  ‘   alright,   ’   he  says,  and  he  knows  it’s  not  enough  but  he’s  worried  if  he  says  anything  else  something  inside  him  will  break  just  enough  to  let  too  much  out.  he  nods,  biting  down  on  his  lower  lip,  another  anxious  habit.   ‘   alright.   ’   he  takes  another  breath,  trying  to  settle  himself  just  a  bit  more.   ‘   i’m  glad  you’re  safe,   ’   another  phrase  he’d  already  said  tonight,  but  at  this  moment  he  was  just  pushing  out  whatever  he  could.   inhale.  exhale.   he  looks  back  up  to  see  if  she’s  changed  her  mind,  just  in  case,  but  he  comes  to  the  conclusion  that  she  means  what  she’s  saying,  and  he  wishes  he  could  express  how  grateful  he  was.  he  hopes  the  way  he’s  looking  at  her  does  what  words  would  likely  fail  at.

there’s no other way to describe the crease of her brows and the tilt of her head than confusion, the defensive nature of his tone towards her. she searches his eyes for a fleeting moment, trying to understand what she’d missed or stumbled upon. this felt like the opposite of him switching off and she couldn’t tell if it felt any better. it still hurt, that much she knew. she swallows as she tries to find the best way to respond, to talk him off the ledge as it were.   “ i wasn’t still a wolf when he found me, ”   she offers slowly, as though the explanation would help at all.   “ i wouldn’t have wanted him to find me in that form; i wouldn’t have hurt him, i have my wits about me, but — ”   her eyes seem to focus behind him for a moment,   “ i’m still not me. ”   the last sentence is quieter than the first.

“ was i wrong t’say i might leave with everythin’ happenin’ or ask y’t’hold my bag? ”   there’s a moment that she searches for the answer before she offers,   “ you — you could have said no about t’bag. i would have understood. ”   but there is something deeper in just that phrase; she would have understood that he didn’t want to deal with what she was, that there were some things that were too much to handle.   “ you told me tha’ the city was locked down an’ tha’ i probably wouldn’t get back in, should i not ‘ave taken that advice? ”   there’s so much confusion written across her features and she doesn’t know how to untangle it.   “ i told y’tha’ i’d be okay and i am. ”

                  the  fact  that  she   says   wolf  feels  like  he’s  lost  the  foothold  he  thought  he  had.  taliesin  believed  he  had  gotten  a  positive  response  when  he  had  avoided  use  of  the  word,  but  now  he  was  confused  in  addition  to  the  bubbling  frustration  inside  of  him,  a  hint  of  sadness  as  well.   ‘   you  didn’t  ask  him  to,  so  he  could  have,  found  you  while  you  were  …   ’   he  trails  off  again,  still  forcing  her  experiences  into  the  framework  of  his  own  until  it  made  sense  to  him.  it’s  not  wood  he’s  worried  about  if  he  were  to  spend  a  moment  on  the  topic,  but  instead  he’s  reacting  quickly,  trying  to  pull  out  the  reassurance  he  needs ;   that  it  was  okay  that  he  hadn’t  come.  however,  he  couldn’t  ask  for  it  directly  or  reveal  the  aspects  of  himself  that  made  him  believe  it  would  have  been  impossible.

                    taliesin  can  feel  that  his  hands  are  reacting  to  the  emotions  he’s  having  and,  somewhat  hastily,  he  stuffs  them  into  the  pockets  of  his  slacks.   ‘   no,   ’   he  says,  somewhat  harshly  to  her  first  question.  the  second   ‘   no,   ’  comes  to  her  statement  that  he  could  have  refused  the  bag  and  is  somewhat  softer.  the  final   ‘   no,   ’   is  whispered,  him  looking  down,  somewhat  sheepish.   ‘   i  just  …   ’   he  takes  a  moment,  trying  to  find  himself,   ‘   i  just  don’t  want  you  to  think  i’m   …   not  good  enough  to  do  those  things.   ’   he  swallows.  it’s  not  exactly  right,  but  it’s  close  enough  for  the  moment.

artemis fawley has never felt her stomach sink faster than the moment taliesin lestrange looked away from her after she’d kissed his cheek. his cheeks flush, she can see that much, but he says nothing and she’s nearly certain that she overstepped somewhere. that the extent of whatever this was ended at this odd understanding of one another, the worry they felt for one another and that was it. the quick response from him does nothing to stop the spiral of her thoughts before she claws into them and shoves them down. now was not the time. 

“ mmhmm, ”   she hums quietly as he repeats what she said. she wonders what he knows, what his opinions are of thaxter. not that it would make a difference in her friendship with the quidditch player, she would always stick by his side as he had done for her recently. there’s a crack of amusement glinting in her eyes, that spiral of emotions threatening to explode.   “ he’s not just some quidditch player, he’s my best friend, ”   she explains.   “ we were in the same house at school, he’s two years younger. he said he came lookin’ fer me when he couldn’ find me two nights ago, i — ”   there, for just a fraction of a moment, taliesin, did you catch it? sadness lingers in her eyes before it’s snapped back behind the barrier,   “ i didn’ ask him t’come lookin’, he was jus’ worried with all this goin’ on. brought a first aid kit and got me bandaged up before he dropped me here, said somethin’ about goin’ t’get his broom, but — ”   she shrugs, an indicator of what they already knew. he wasn’t here.   “ he’s safe somewhere else. ”

                   he  listens  to  her  talk  about  her  friend,  and  hazards  a  glance  back  up  to  her  eyes.  it’s  at  just  the  right  moment  it  seems,  to  catch  the  creep  of  sadness  in  her  features  before  she  puts  up  a  wall  he  recognizes    ––––   not  because  she’s  done  it  before,  but  because  he  knows  how  to  do  it  well.  his  stomach  twists,  both  at  what  he’s  caught  before  she  closed  him  out  and  the  fact  that  he  knows  that’s  what  she’s  doing.  taliesin  has  no  right  to  blame  anyone  else  for  that,  however,  and  he  knows  it,  so  he  stays  quiet,  just  listening.  inside  his  own  head  he  starts  to  recognize  resentment  in  the  discontent,  for  this  person  who  was  able  to  help  her  in  a  way  she  needed  when  he  was  stuck  cowering  inside  his  cousins  wards,  helpless  by  all  known  measures.

                   ‘   you  didn’t  make  it  seem  like  you  wanted  to  be  found,   ’   he  points  out,  somewhat  defensively.  she  had  been  talking  about  leaving  the  city,  he  didn’t  even  know  she   could   have  been  found.  plus  she,  with  whatever  claws  and  fangs  her  other  form  gave  her,  at  least  had  some  defense.  wood  had  his  wand.  taliesin  had  nothing,  but  he  knew  he  could  not  tell  her  that.  he  couldn’t  admit  to  being  what  he  was  to  explain.  he  wanted  to  step  back,  go  back  to  the  moment  where  she  had  her  hands  against  his  chest  even  if  he  didn’t  know  what  the  right  step  to  take  was.  apparently,  it  wasn’t  clarifying  who  thaxter  wood  was.   ‘   you  told  me  you  were  probably  leaving  the  city  and  to  hold  onto  your  bag.   ’

bah-bum bah-bum bah-bum. artemis can feel the steady, albeit quick, pulse of his heart under her palm. her cheeks flush slightly at the thought that perhaps she was the cause. the thumb of her right hand moves in slow strokes over his shirt where his heart should be, almost idly. she makes an sound of understanding as he gives her a timeline for the past two days.   “ right, ”   she says quietly, but the word is almost distracted as she looks over him. she’s looking at him, knowing how close they are, and her own pulse quickens.   “ aye, found t’bag. thank y’fer keepin’ it safe. ”   there’s an impulse that she had fought once before sitting in the bank that had started as an idle thought as she’d sat on his couch on his birthday. she leans up on her toes to press a kiss to his cheek before settling back down to her original position, hands still placed on his chest.

artemis has fallen into the trap of people simply knowing thax by the reputation that proceeded him with the mention of his nickname.   “ thaxter wood — the quidditch player, he’s on the magpies. ”   she offers as a means to jog his memory.   “ i don’t think lazarus likes him very much. ”   the words are conspiratorial in nature before she shrugs. at the mention of her needing sleep, she looks over his features, her left hand sliding up to rest between his shoulder and the bottom of his neck,   “ have you slept? ”

                  ‘   good,   ’   he  says,  even  if  the  answer  had  likely  been  obvious.  she  looked  put  together,  recovered  from  the  last  time  he  saw  her,  but  he  wanted  to  be  sure.  the  answer  came  out  quick  and  sure,  a  steady  answer  from  him,  but  that  would  all  come  crashing  down  in  the  moment  she  kisses  his  cheek.  his  skin  flushes  hot,  and  his  eyes  suddenly  feel  the  need  to  avert  for  hers.  the  floor,  or  perhaps  the  table  in  the  center  of  the  room,  would  be  a  good  place  to  look  instead.  if  he  wasn’t  sure  how  to  react  to  her  lingering  close  to  him,  he  certainly  did  not  have  the  experience  needed  to  successfully  navigate  cheek  kisses.   ‘   you’re  welcome,   ’   he  says,  also  a  quick  response  but  with  less  of  the  confidence.

                 the  topic  of  thaxter  wood  seems  like  as  good  of  a  distraction   (   not  from  her,  exactly,  but  from  his  own  uncertainties   )   as  any.   ‘   the  quidditch  player   …   ’   he  repeats,  and  then  a  series  of  articles  from  the  summer  comes  back  to  his  memory.  if  he  remembered  correctly,  wood  was  a  showoff,  a  bit  of  an  arrogant  fellow,  and  the  mention  that  lazarus  was  not  much  of  a  fan  made  sense.  her  arrival  with  him,  still  did  not.  he  refrains  from  speaking  his  thoughts  of  wood  as  a  player  aloud,  though  the  look  on  his  face  likely  doesn’t  hide  much.  yet,  there  was  something  else  there  too,  a  bit  of  discontent  he  wouldn’t  admit  to  and  perhaps  did  not  realize.   ‘   some  quidditch  player  picked  you  up  and  brought  you  back  ?   ’   he  barely  pauses  before  continuing,   ‘   as  much  as  i  could.  it’s  a  little  hard  to  right  now.   ’

this was different to the hug that she had given him on his birthday for many reasons, but the one that stuck out and captivated her attention was his arms wrapping around her. there’s a certain comfort to being hugged that was not given to her often. goosebumps rise along the flesh of her arms and down her spine as he whispers back to her, she hadn’t been expecting it. she had been expecting a grunt or some other form of offsetting the question. in truth, she hadn’t gotten an answer but something else in return. that soft smile she wears is pressed into his shoulder at his words. her heart is warm with the notion that he had been worried about her, a nervous but positive energy flitting through her stomach.

a quiet noise of protest as he shifts away from her, his arms dropping from their hold. she’s slower to let go, instead her arms unlock from around his neck but slide down his chest and pause there. the warmth of him beside her feels nice, that hug had felt nice too, and she’s loath to let it go so quickly.   “ i’m okay, ”   she replies, voice never lifting above something soft spoken.   “ better than last night or, ”   her brow creases slightly,   “ yesterday? ”   she looks to him for answer, unsure of just how long she had been asleep, but knows it had been enough.   “ thax found me an’ bandaged me up, dropped me off here, lazarus gave me a cocktail of potions, it wasn’t long after that i was asleep. ”   she explains carefully,   “ ‘m sorry i didn’ come t’find y’then. ”

                her  hands  linger  on  his  chest,  and  he  glances  down  at  them  for  a  moment.  he’s  unused  to  this  type  of  affection  and  what,  if  anything,  he  should  be  doing  in  response.  taliesin  does  not  move  away  however,  but  stands  there  still,  almost  unnaturally  so  save  for  the  quick  beating  of  his  heart.  he  nods,  accepting  her  positive  answer,  and  then  supplying   ‘   i  saw  you  two  days  ago,  but  you  got  here  yesterday.   ’   it  must  have  taken  quite  a  lot  out  of  her  to  make  her  uncertain  of  which  day  it  was.   ‘   i  assume  you  found  your  bag   ?   ’   with  no  way  to  help  her,  and  no  magic  to  help  aid  lazarus  keep  the  wards  up,  the  bag  was  the  one  thing  within  his  control  over  the  past  48  hours  and  it  seemed  important  to  make  sure  it  had  found  its  way  back  to  her.

                he  frowns  slightly  at  the  mention  of  an  unfamiliar  name,  knowing  that  no  one  else  had  entered  the  reliquary  save  for  her.   ‘   …   thax  who   ?   ’   he  asks,  wondering  if  this  should  be  something  he  already  knows.  he’s  also  just  curious  at  who  looks  at  a  securely  warded  establishment  during  an  event  like  this  and  decides  they’re  only  dropping  someone  off,  or  if  it  had  been lazarus’s  choice  to  keep  whoever  it  was  outside.   ‘   you  needed  your  sleep,   ’   he  adds,  shaking  off  her  apology.

❛  your  apartment  is  incredibly  safe,  it’s  got  a  similar  version  of  the  avery  family  wards  on  it.  i  set  them  up  when  you  had  just  moved  in.  ❜  he  said  it  like  he  had  dropped  off  a  vinyl  record  that  taliesin  had  asked  for,  not  like  he  had  ensured  the  safety  and  security  of  taliesin  lestrange  for  the  length  of  his  time  in  the  apartment.  ❛  i’m  surprised  you  couldn’t  feel  them.  ❜  it’s  off  handed  but  if  lazarus  were  in  a  better  state  of  mind,  he  might  have  revisited  it  with  more  thought.  but  his  mind  is  hazed  and  the  clarity  needed  to  connect  the  dots  too  far  gone  for  some  time  to  come.  ❛  it’s  good  you  made  your  way  to  gringotts,  though,  because  you  found  elisabeth.  ❜  she  was,  after  all,  an  incredibly  talented  witch  and  an  excellent  set  of  hands  to  be  on  board  the  protect  the  reliquary  at  nearly  any  cost  plan.    

❛  thank  you.  ❜  nearly  a  quarter  of  a  century.  there  was  so  much  in  those  years  to  unpack  that  no  one  had  the  time  for  but  a  few  things  were  more  than  certain:  taliesin  lestrange  would  always  have  lazarus  avery’s  unfailing  loyalty  and  tal’s  steadfastness  even  in  the  face  of  the  end  of  the  world  was  something  that  laz  needed  desperately.  after  a  moment  in  thought,  he  waved  his  wand  in  a  complex  pattern,  putting  the  pot  into  a  stasis  as  he  felt  calmer,  ready  to  look  at  taliesin  for  the  rest  of  their  conversation.  ❛  for  the  reassurance,  that  is.  ❜  i  just  want  to  make  sure  everyone  comes  out  of  this  alive.  he  didn’t  say  it  out  loud.  he  didn’t  feel  like  he  had  to.

                taliesin  furrowed  his  brow.  he  was   …   several  things.  part  of  him  was  touched  by  the  gestures  on  lazarus’s  part.  even  if  he  didn’t  know  what  it  meant,  the  fact  that  he  had  gone  out  of  his  way  to  protect  him  made  taliesin  thankful  that  lazarus  was  his  cousin.  he  couldn’t  admit  to  himself  that  he  was  thankful  for  one  direct  relative  who  wanted  to  look  out  for  his  well - being  simply  for  the  sake  of  it,  for  that  would  require  too  much  awareness  of  things  he’s  pushed  down  about  his  father  and  uncle.  however,  part  of  him  was  confused,  surprised  to  hear  that  for  three  years  wards  had  been  placed  on  his  apartment  and  he  never  knew.   ‘   you   …   you  didn’t  tell  me  you  did  that,   ’   taliesin  notes,  tilting  his  head  slightly.  eyebrows  move  upward  at  the  next  comment,  trying  to  come  up  with  a  good  reason.   ‘   the  job  kind  of  throws  my  awareness  of  those  things  off  a  bit.  you’re  working  around  wards  long  enough,  you  start  to  tune  them  out  unless  you’re  trying  to  identify  them  specifically.   ’

                he  nods,  agreeing.  it  was  good  elisabeth  was  here.  taliesin  was  glad  to  have  both  of  them  under  one  roof  and,  given  the  circumstances,  the  reliquary  had  likely  just  become  the  safest  place  within  the  city  until  the  ministry  came  out  with  something  more  solid.   ‘   you’re  welcome,   ’   taliesin  replied,  though  he  didn’t  truly  believe  lazarus  needed  to  thank  him  for  such  things.  tillie  returned  shortly  after  with  the  tray  of  tea,  placed  on  the  table  in  the  center  of  the  room.  taliesin  started  to  move  towards  the  table  but  then  paused,  looking  back  to  lazarus  and  poses  a  question.   ‘   do  you  have  any  hawthron  berries,  dired   ?   ’   lazarus  had  seen  him  do  this  before,  a  way  to  manage  the  tremor  that,  while  taliesin  was  projected  a  secure  exterior,  was  certainly  a  bit  worse  than  it  usually  was  thanks  to  the  adrenaline  in  his  system  from  the  world  around  them.

there’s something about the way he stands there, watching her, that forces her heart into a skip. she almost says you too in reply to his words. in that split second, she realizes that perhaps that wasn’t what she should say considering that he presumably slept like a normal person and she — well, her sleep schedule was odd on a good day. it’s as he steps closer into the room that her brow creases for a flicker of a moment until she realizes what he means with the motion. the shyness in his tone, the gesture, he was learning and merlin, he was sweet. 

that smile reserved for him never falters, but her gaze does soften. she lays the wooden spoon across the cauldron, content to let the potion brew before she crosses the room to him. artemis looks up to him, dragging her hands up his arms and in a natural motion, she lifts up onto her toes, her arms wrapping around his neck to pull him down towards her. her forehead nuzzles into the space between his neck and his shoulder. the muscles in her back lose tension as she relaxes into the hug.   “ missed me? ”   she whispers, almost teasingly in his ear. 

                   seeing  the  look  on  her  face,  he  begins  to  lower  his  arms  and  place  them  back  at  his  sides.  he  could  accept  the  rejection  if  that  was  ...    but  then  she  smiling  and  moving  towards  him  with  an  intensity  that  surprised  him.  he  had  been  expecting  something  a  bit  more  reserved,  likely  something  quick,  but  what  she  gave  him  instead  felt  complete.  his  hands  hover  slightly  above  her  back  for  a  moment  before  coming  down  to  rest.  she  settles  against  him  and  the  relief  from  earlier  begins  to  rise  again,  even  if  just  slightly    ——   the  after  tremor  of  what  he  had  felt  upon  seeing  the  bag  was  back  with  its  owner,  that  she  had  returned.  he  considers  the  things  he  has  accepted  about  artemis  fawley  over  the  past  two  months,  and  adds  another :   she  was  pretty,  she  was  kind,  he  wanted  her  to  be  safe.  it  feels  strange,  and  he  wonders  how  exactly  that  fits  in  to  his  life,  the  way  he  sees  the  world...   he  adds  another  item  to  his  list  of  things  to  address  at  a  later  date  as  well.

                   '   i’m  glad  you’re  safe,   ’   he  answers,  matching  her  whisper  in  his  answer,  but  it  fails  to  carry  the  same  teasing  tone.  he  swallows  and  lingers  for  a  moment,  enjoying  this  moment.  however,  it  feels  improper  to  stay  in  that  position  too  long,  so  after  a  moment  he  untangles  his  arms  from  around  her  and  takes  a  slight  step  back.  he  doesn’t,  however,  move  as  far  away  as  he  should,  standing  a  bit  closer  to  her  then  necessary  as  he  looks  her  over,  trying  to  see  if  anything  had  happened   (  either  through  marks  on  her  person  or  signs  in  her  features  ).   ‘   how  are  you  feeling   ?   ’

❛  we  are.  ❜  lazarus  agreed  with  a  firm  nod  of  his  head,  as  though  for  just  a  moment  he  was  debating  if  he’d  made  the  right  decision  until  taliesin  had  confirmed  it  for  him.  there  was  a  mild  trepidation  there,  a  slowly  dissipating  anxiety  that  still  kept  his  stomach  in  a  knot.  of  course,  lazarus  was  sure  that  particular  thing  would  not  go  away  until  this  was  all  behind  them.  he  knew  that  if  his  parents  wanted  to,  they  could  have  come  and  dragged  him  from  the  building  themselves,  but  they  wouldn’t.  for  so  many  reasons  they  wouldn’t  but  most  of  all  he  could  hear  his  mother  gently  reassuring  his  father  that  their  only  son  would  come  home  to  them.  it  made  his  heart  pang  with  guilt  but  he  squared  his  soldiers  and  focused  himself  again.  he  would  see  them  again,  once  everyone  he  cared  about  was  safe.  

❛  did  you  eat  ?  hungry  ?  ❜  lazarus  asked  suddenly,  his  hand  stilling  as  he  stirred,  just  a  momentary  stutter  before  he  picked  up  again,  lips  mouthing  as  he  counted  after  interrupting  himself.  somewhere  in  his  question  there  was  an  are  you  there  but  it  certainly  did  not  make  its  way  out  of  his  mouth.  it  took  him  a  moment  before  he  supplied,  ❛  if  you  are,  there  are  a  pair  of  elves  in  my  apartment  working  on  dinner  for  us  all,  i  figured  we  could  rearrange  the  store  a  little  bit  and  make  a  dinner  table  for  us  all  in  the  center  of  the  shop  ?  they  should  be  done  in  ––  ❜  he  looked  down  at  his  wrist,  as  though  checking  for  a  watch  that  wasn’t  there  and  he  mumbled  to  himself  before  stopping  again  and  turning  more  fully  to  stare  at  taliesin.  ❛  you  slept  there  ?  dear  salazar,  why  ?  ❜

                    taliesin  could  see  the  tension  in  lazarus,  but  perhaps  that  was  simply  due  to  the  fact  that  he  had  been  at  the  other’s  side  for  nearly  a  quarter  of  a  century ;  it  was  time  that  gave  him  the  insight  to  recognize  the  small  things   ––––   the  nod  that  was  more  for  himself  than  for  taliesin,  the  firmly  back  shoulders.   ‘   things  will  be  alright,   ’   he  says,  using  the  confidence  he  had  in  lying  to  make  the  words  sound  certain,  without  question.  they,  their  families,  the  shop,  london…  whatever  lazarus  needed  the  words  to  be  about  they  could  be.  taliesin  might  not  be  able  to  put  up  the  wards  himself   (   though  he  might  have  smiled  to  know  that  the  blood  wards  accepted  him  as  a  source,  without  magic,  simply  for  being  the  son  of  dorthea  avery   ),   but  he  would  be  there  to  last  through  whatever  came  with  lazarus.

                    ‘   we  did,  but  i’m  sure  when  dinner’s  ready  we’ll  all  be  thankful,   ’   taliesin  manages  to  get  out  before  lazarus  turns  back  to  stare  at  him.  he  frowns,  not  expecting  the  reaction  he  was  getting.  under  other  circumstances,  yes,  but  given  the  ghosts  that  had  descended  on  the  world,  a  night  spent  behind  assuredly  safe  walls  felt  like  the  responsible  choice.  not  to  mention  that  getting  anywhere  was  a  bit  more  of  a  task  for  him,  feeling  helpless  given  his  lack  of  magic…   but  lazarus  didn’t  know  that  so  perhaps  the  reaction  is  a  bit  more  understandable.  taliesin  is  going  through  this  thought  process  in  his  mind,  so  it  takes  a  moment  before  he  replies  to  the  question.   ‘   it  was  the  safest  option.  i  expected  we  would  get  in  contact  with  each  other,  but  until  then…   well,  i  was  already  there  and  maybe  i’m  a  bit  overly  cautious  but  i  preferred  those  walls  to  the  ones  of  my  apartment.   ’