My Wires Don’t Feel Right

A very irritating thing about being disabled while also having a mental illness is that everybody and their dog will assume the mental illness was caused by the disability. People seem to think that being disabled must be a miserable enough life to cause mental illness. By doing this they write off any other causes and factors in mental health, and they act like mental illness is inevitable for disabled people and therefore normal and expected.

i love ‘unpalatable’ disabled people. pessimistic disabled people, bitter and angry disabled people, disabled people who are suicidal, disabled people who are ashamed, disabled people who harm themselves, disabled people who’ve been labelled as disruptive or hard to be around or impossible to accommodate. you are loved even if the world is often cruel to you. you deserve warmth and wonder.

they really don't respect the time of disabled people. your application can take up to 12 weeks. the specialist waitlist is 3 years. your assessment will be any time within the next 6 months. let us know if you cannot attend this appointment you waited 7 weeks for and we'll reschedule next year. we've decided to assess you at this time and day and you have to be available or any support you dared to apply for is not going to happen. and in between these long bouts of waiting you have to survive the everyday

Disabled people are allowed to be angry and mean. Especially when you are threatening or attacking them. We will never live in a world where someone isn't bitchy sometimes and I'm gonna be honest, i do not want to.

I find it very offensive that the more unwell you are, the more things you have to do to maintain your health. Things like following special diets, going to medical appointments, making big and important decisions about what treatments to use. At the same time, the more unwell you are the less energy you have to do all of these extra things. It seems grossly unfair.

The thing about growing up with undiagnosed autism is that you’re a bad kid. And you don’t know how to stop being a bad kid. But you’re pedantic, you hate hugs, you’d rather be alone than attend a family gathering, you play by yourself instead of with friends or family, you make mealtime impossible, you can’t even look your parents in the face, you lie to get out of going to school and when you’re there you complete your assignments correctly but in a way that is somehow inherently wrong. You’re wrong. There is something wrong with you and you can’t identify it or fix it. You can’t begin to explain it. You pull for justifications and apologies. You were a bad kid and there was nothing you could do to be better.

googling shit like "why do i feel bad after hanging out with my friends" and all of the answers are either "you need better friends" (i don't; my friends are wonderful) or "your social battery is drained, you need to rest and regain your energy levels" (i don't; i've got tons of energy, it's just manifesting as over-the-top neurotic mania). why is this even happening. it's like some stupid toll i have to pay as a punishment for enjoying myself too much

#theres a thing called 'larp drop' thats essentially this#esp since when having a great time you might be more inclined to disregard your limits and ignore discomfort#(and forget to eat/drink if its larp whoops)#and then once you have a moment to yourself it all comes crashing in#source: once forgot to eat at larp and had a sobbing fit in my car that ended the instant i bit into a chicken nugget - @queerfarmgremlin

this is also true of festivals, conventions, pride parades, concerts, and any situation where you have a lot of fun with other people!

Best thing my grandfather ever taught me is that you’ve gotta let yourself grunt and groan when you’re doing something difficult. Makes it easier.

My grandpa has been disabled in one form or another since he was in his early 20s and he worked in construction until his 50s. He knows about doing hard things. Whenever I was helping him with moving things as a kid he always told me to grunt and groan real loud about it. Makes it easier, he said. And it does. It always, always does. Making a real loud noise and complaining about it always makes it better.

No, taking that shower, eating that meal, cleaning your space, going on that walk or having that conversation won't cure you, but there's a good chance it'll make you less miserable in the moment - and isn't that a fine goal by itself?

Also, getting some sleep. There have been very few times where sleep hasn't made me feel better. If the misery or stress is caused by a problem, the problem may be just as bad, but rest always makes me feel more equipped to deal with it

does anyone have that 4chan post about the guy who got like. deradicalised from being an incel because he started taking care of shrimp?

thats the one! thank you!

I hope he finds someone who is as passionate about shrimp as he is