✵fëanorian defense lawyer ✵

ive never played baldurs gate 3 in my life but i just woke up from a dream where astarion had a little brother named bimbles but players fucking hated bimbles bc in the game astarion would care more about bimbles than the player so ppl started uploading videos where theyd kill bimbles and a video called “900 ways to KILL bimbles in baldurs gate 3” got like 10 million views and then bc of the backlash larian studios released a patch where astarion would kill bimbles early in the game if the player asked him too but he’d do it while shaking and sobbing in total anguish and ppl started posting videos of the scene where astarion kills bimbles with titles like “baldurs gate 3’s BEST patch”

not my laboratory not my Creature

guys i didn’t realize his actual name was teleporno im fuckinf crying. i just went with it like ok not the weirdest thing ive seen from the silm people yet. just assumed it was part of the fan lore i didn’t get to yet. wdym thats his NAMEEE im howling

And also the indestructibility of that woman's ankles

by the fourth or fifth time you "come back wrong" no ones even impressed anymore

and good luck explaining things to your insurance provider!