⚢perfect⚢

i appear to have made mortal nemeses with a pigeon

tumblr stop rooting for the pigeon

im bad to argue with because i have jesters blood if you misintepret me i'll just go along with it. when i was a teenager i was trying to explain the concept of the heterosexual default to someone and they were like "so you think everyone should become bisexual?" and i was like. what the hell sure. lets have legally enforced bisexuality. i'll die on a hill for the bit dont fuck with me.

just found out that accidentally in love by counting crows was literally made for shrek. they didnt just choose it. it didnt exist before. they asked counting crows to make a song for shrek 2 and thats how we got one of the best songs ever made. insane.

counting crows knew shrek 2 would become one of the best movies ever made and had to act accordingly

Gay men use she/her pronouns all the fucking time. Drag queens are very accepted in the LGBTQ+ community. So why is it 'invalidating your own gender' or 'infiltrating lesbian spaces' when lesbians use he/him pronouns??? Please go read a gay history book i beg of you. He/him lesbians are fully accepted on my page! i love yall sm & dont ever let cis people invalidate your experience when they have no idea what they're talking about

time to make a post on tumblr. surely no one will interpret it to be as offensive and bad intentioned as possible.

a CEO walks into his office “any messages?” he asks his assistant “two anons want to know who tom petty is and one just says ‘post your ballsack’” “got it. check my dashboard” “that skeleton gif you like is back again” he rubs his chin pensively “mm. reblog that”

fat dykes forever. fat dykes forever.

I think the biphobic misconception that bisexual women only date men and bisexual men only date men may have a correlation to the fact that there is always a man freaky and horny in your DMs no matter what. It isn’t that bisexual women are secretly straight or that bisexual men are secretly gay, it’s that men are out there behaving like starving dogs and you feel so bad you end up feeding one, you know? Anyway, this coffee is a medium and I ordered a large. It’s okay, it’s busy in here, I get it.

"He has a 12 inch cock" well my pussy ain't a fucking magicians hat bitch where is all that supposed to go

wow I love to sit crosslegged without moving for several hours straight!

okay time to straighten my legs man I'm so excited

I f eel like a suit of armour that was attacked by a welder

you cut me in line at the grocery store and next time you see me im wearing the collar your dead childhood dog used to wear