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Things have gotten so P.C. nowadays that you can't even call a forklift a forklift. Suddenly, every piece of "power lifting equipment" in your shop needs a special name. Even the mutant bullshit like telehandlers don't want to be called something cool like zoom-booms anymore.
The other day, the intern and I are out at Subway. Van saying "lift trucks" comes by. Picture on the side? You guessed it. Forklift.
"Skip," my intern explains - I don't like to be called boss, and he's nice and doesn't do that - "that's what the manufacturers want us to call them now. A forklift is too reductive, obscures nuance. Imagine if you had a huge shop full of these things, you'd need to know the difference between a reach truck and a stacker."
He makes an excellent point, which I admit by silently chewing on my Mesquite Chicken Power Bowl. I have ordered it meticulously, in order to accommodate my unique dietary needs. Some people think that's unimportant, and I should just get one of the combos and not explain myself to the Sandwich Artist every time. They're wrong, it's critical that I be recognized for who I am. Safer for everyone, too.
Even though it draws so much embarrassment when I misname the things, I just can't get over how every forklift insists on its own special name. My grandfather never had to put up with that kind of nonsense. He'd just get out there in the morning, lift up a car with whatever he had on the jobsite, and steal the catalytic converter. Then he'd go to the bar, and sob in the bathroom for a couple of hours at home by himself without ever explaining to any of us what was going on. Probably saw all this coming.
tdeardz doing crosswords on set is actually canon mel to me especially now i know she finished her charts like 2 hours earlier than everyone else. her ass was doing crosswords instead of going home .
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has a 17th century french woman alter ego, loves boba, has immeasurable amounts of whimsy, dr mel king every tongue that rises against you shall fall !!
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fascinated by jeff the killer tbh. everyone in that creepypasta has generic white usamerican names (jeff, keith, barbara, billy, etc.) except for jeff the killer's doe eyed little brother liu. why is he liu. is liu chinese? it's okay if he's chinese. is jeff also chinese? has jeff the killer been chinese this whole time? am I a bad person?
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whitsantos communicate only through noise after rough shifts
they walk into the apartment dragging their feet, kicking their shoes off the second they enter. trinity immediately collapsing on the couch and dennis making his way to the kitchen,
“hmph” [dinner]
“mm-mm” [don’t want any]
“hmm” [yeah, okay] he makes two plates anyways
he heats up leftover pizza from a game night they hosted a couple days prior. walking over to the couch with both plates in hand, he lets out a small grunt and lightly taps her legs sprawled across the couch with one his own. she groans as she sits up, making room on the couch for him. he sets the pizza down on the coffee table, and she opens Netflix to find something to watch,
“hmm?” [how about this?] she asks
“uh uh”
they repeat this cycle for about 5 minutes while they browse the app. eventually landing on a mindless animal documentary, they eat their pizza and watch as some celebrity narrates a school of fish swimming through the ocean
they finish eating and decide, with a “mm?” and a “mhm”, to turn it off and finish the documentary another night. dennis practically has to pull trinity off the couch so that they can go get ready for bed
he’s already laying down, taking up her entire bed when she comes out of her bathroom. when she goes to pinch his arm and signal him to move over, she notices how dehydrated he is. she walks to the kitchen and comes back with a glass of water. she taps his arm,
“mmm” [drink this]
he just shakes his head. she sets the glass on the nightstand and lifts him up, pushing him until he’s sitting up against the headboard. she brings the straw to his lips and holds the glass as he drains it. when she removes the straw from his lips, he shifts back into a sleeping position that doesn’t stretch across the entire mattress
she takes the glass back to the kitchen and refills it, this time leaving it to rest on the nightstand for the night. when she gets into bed herself, she can hear him lightly snoring as she drifts asleep to the sound
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