Iāve invented āThe Knife-Wielding Tentacle'š

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@onewoodenspoon
Iāve invented āThe Knife-Wielding Tentacle'š

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Anyone who's ever done anything creative needs to fucking see this.
have i ever shown u people my hand sofa
my prized possession is this loveseat I bought from a divorced dad who couldnāt tell me anything about it and in the years iāve owned it iāve never been able to find out who made it or where it came from. itās got nails and finger creases and palm lines but theyāre all kinda hard to see in this pic.
āmetaphorically undressing myself via truth nuke

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Why don't they make stained glass fish tanks? Give those fish Catholic guilt
fascinated by the implication that it's the stained glass that gives catholics the guilt
I FOUND THE. FISH CANāT SIN POST.
I had to do it.
I've been put in the tank š
Thats the context for this meme???
I feel like I've been robbed the whole time. This is magical.
I'm dying
Every time someone runs a similar contest the little voice in my head wonders how long itāll be until someoneās blog gets more popular and they take over the contest freeing me from this curse
you could just find someone else whoās planning to do a sexyman contest and bestow the responsibility of the sexyman contest like youāre oogway saying you must continue your journey without me
I started dying laughing at the thought of this btw, I think thatād be really mean to the hypothetical Po though
@hellsite-hall-of-fame @worldheritagepostorganization
is this the ORIGINAL?!???
oh holy shit i didnāt even know where this meme came from
OH MY ACTUAL GOD THE ORIGINAL
ORIGINALS ON THE ROLL
How evil of this poll when its the first thing I see when I first open tumblr the other day, haha! I love them both so much, my favorite characters of ALL TIME!!! How CAN I EVER CHOOSE?! X'D
So I drew this this instead. They would be good friends.
P.s: There is still time to cast your vote. *wink wink*
Tumblr contest poll by @sexy-people-contests-2026
Also happy finale day of TADC of episode 9! What a strange journey.
Omg itās so pretty!!!!

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Surprise surprise: I'm starting up at Netflix Animation as a character designer this week!
I've been doing freelance for Netflix on the side since September, so I'm really looking forward to joining the team full-time. Games industry I still love you, I just need a little bit of a break. šā„ļø
I wish I knew more about molecular science because there are so many science fiction plots that have something like āAh yes now that we have the shrink/growth ray we can shrink our population to use less resources/grow our food resources to feed more peopleā
But, like. Would that work? I feel like if you made a Big Hamburger your body wouldnāt know how to digest it. You arenāt making More Hamburger, youāre making Small Hamburger Occupying More Space, so either eating part of Big Hamburger would only give you the nutrients of a slice of Small Hamburger, or your body wouldnāt know how to digest the Big Molecules Of Big Hamburger
This conversation is funnier hearing just one half of it.
Every time Sean Astin makes a statement on whether or not Sam and Frodo were indeed gay for each other in lord of the rings heās always like āwell we have to acknowledge that attitudes around sexuality have changed dramatically over the past several decades and since authorial intent is only up to speculation, the story is open to multiple readings, some of which might have different significances for different groups of people also they kiss on the lips because I said soā
at the rose city comic con panel this month a fan asked them (sean and elijah) if sam and frodo were in love and they said
Sean: .....yes. absolutely
Elijah: 100 percent.
Sean: dont tell rosie
Rosie: "This is my husband Sam, and that's his husband, Frodo. Frodo is my husband-in-law. I'm not into him, he's he's a bit too 'elfy' for my taste, but Sam likes him, and that's fine with me. As far as I know, Frodo can't give Sam children, but Frodo looks after ours all the same, so I don't mind sharing Sam if it means another pair of eyes on the wee ones. In all honesty, our family tree is right simple compared to some hobbits. Yes, I'm referrin' to you Lobelia, over there pretendin' you ain't eavesdroppin'. Still bitter you ain't got either of my boys or their house, eh?"
Tbh it's canon that Frodo invited Sam and Rosie to move in to Bag End after their wedding and they all lived there for a couple of years until Frodo went to Valinor, so yeah. Running with it.
And once Rosie dies, Sam says his goodbyes and disappears after him.
whatās funny is people assuming that rosie would somehow be too dim or naive to KNOW that sam loved frodo, instead of looking at a guy who would loyally follow a beloved friend to hell and then help carry him home again, and not be like āoh i canāt not fuck that.ā
Polyamory, specifically polyandry, would be an interesting solution to the oddball population of the Shire.
The Shire is excellent farming country, with consistently good weather, and only one tough winter in living memory; hobbits like to produce large families; theyāre resistant to disease, rarely violent, and encounter few dangers. It is usual for hobbits to produce many children, so that (for example) Bilbo and Frodo are unusual in both being only children, with no siblings, and not having children of their own. All of this should point to a population that increases every generation if not doubling outright. Young people (and their ideologies!) should rapidly outnumber the old with an ever-increasing effect and impact on society. However, the Shire has a surprisingly stable history; it never seems to increase or decrease greatly in population, and the bell curve of age seems⦠demographically balanced? There certainly isnāt a conflict from rising young bloods challenging the middle-aged reactionaries; thereās no unemployment; there are no housing crises or waves of emigration, or even a tendency for young people leaving home to marry. Meanwhile, not only does the Shire not suffer from internal pressures, but it remains obscure and hardly noticed in global politics.
What makes sense here is that adult hobbits form a loose group. Four parents in a polycule, between them all, may produce four children. All four parents claim to have four children. An outsider would assume this meant the adults had eight children.
Hobbits therefore are not especially fertile or fecund. They simply have large families. Much of their interest in genealogy is due to the complex relationships of blood-kin, hearth-kin, love-kin and pledge-kin, who must all be carefully tracked and measured - not just because you need to make sure that you donāt climb into bed with an un-permitted degree of blood-kin, but to track family alliances and carefully quantify the precise level of thoughtfulness to put into the proper present to gift your fatherās loverās lover (too much implies a degree of intimacy that might upset the polycule.)
Thus, while a hobbit matron may tell a startled dwarf that she has seven sons, she might only have borne five of them herself, and have one hearth-son by her wife, and a pledge-son of her first husbandās. There are between three and four fathers involved at various stages of production, from conception to pledge-duty, but there is debate about the precise number of fathers, as one child was festival-conceived and therefore provisionally pledged to the Brandybucks until more distinctive paternal traits should materialise. Itās expected that four of the sons will be uninterested in women, and their contribution to family life will be in raising hearth-children and pledge-duty. However, this level of detail is normally negotiated later in conversation, as a mutual overture of friendship. So sheās just clear and simple: yes, certainly, she has seven sons. Yes, theyāre all hers. Yes, thatās fairly normal - yes, hobbits like big families. How big? Thatās really hard to say! Well, about thirteen hobbits live in her house⦠er, she has forty-three nieces and nephews. Yes! She has nine siblings, thatās correct, but some of them are still babies themselves..
In this way, a bewildered dwarf might assume that hobbits are absurdly fertile, producing an average of seven children per couple, at an absurd pace.
When in fact, with about half of hobbits never bearing biological children, the population of hobbits is pretty much always the same.
Tl:dr, hobbit population works perfectly well, both internally and in the perceptions of outsiders, if the majority of the Shire is gay, theyāre all polyamorous, and they all firmly claim to be parents of high numbers of children. Of course Frodo fathered Samās kids - he named them! They were pledge-kin but not hearth-kin, as Frodo needed a lot of quiet and stability in the home.
No outsider ever parses hobbit genealogy well enough to understand this except for Gandalf, who never explains anything either.
are you kidding? Gandalf would WEAPONIZE his knowledge of Hobbit genealogy against outsiders
Since āpledgeā kinships are multidimensional and can occur in different directions, hobbits can form - and formalise - family bonds simply because they choose to. Gandalf doesnāt tell anyone that the formation of Thorinās Company, the Fellowship of the Ring, and Belladonna Tookās Accidental Troop of Mercenaries* are legal formations of pledge-siblings, a hobbit family structure usually claimed to increase social class and prestige (as high numbers of pledge-kin confer distinction on a hobbit, being a sort of popularity vote/endorsement that adds greatly to their social power. Incidentally, this is partly why Bilbo was both controversial and successful in his pledge-claim of Frodo; outsiders mistook his ābachelorā status as someone living outside of heteronormativity, while the Shire was bewildered and increasingly annoyed by his rejection of pledge and hearth commitments. By rights Bilbo had too few pledge-kin, and too little parenting experience, to claim rights to an orphan, especially one from Brandybuck hearth; but conversely, his social status was high enough that his belated bid for his very first pledge-son couldnāt reasonably be denied by anybody.)
In short, all of the hobbits enjoyed achieving even larger families on their adventures, legally and without argument or debate. Itās free real estate. If nobody else is going to sibling these losers, we will. (The condensation of so many entanglements at once also legally made Pippin his own father-in-law.)
Gandalf never explained.
* see the post about the Old Tookās āenchanted diamond cufflinksā that obeyed the wearerās commands; which were probably, given the general state of things, two lost silmarils recovered by his Remarkable Daughters and gifted to him because things stay small and safe in the shire
@elodieunderglass wouldn't that make pippin both denethor's pledge-son-in-law, and (as pledge-brother to the king) probably outrank him?
Only through Boromir while Boromir was alive! Pippinās familial claim through Boromir technically dissolved on Boromirās death, as Denethor hadnāt been privy to it, and those bonds rarely stretch to a stranger when the person in the middle has died before introducing them; although Pippin, who was well-brought-up, perfectly and politely rectified the problem at once by simply swearing himself as Denethorās pledge-son. but through his blood-cousinship to Frodo, who was older than Boromir, his status as the Took double-primarc (donāt ask) and the proximity-enhanced status-doubling effects of having a five-way cousin in Merry, Pippin was demonstrably higher status as a pledge-sibling and was also his own father-in-law and approved of himself. As such, he would have significantly raised Boromirās social status and marital prospects in the Shire.
Inheritance follows parent-child pledge as the primary consideration, with matrilineal descent as the secondary. Pippin would have been bewildered to gradually understand that Denethor held his two sons in such odd and different standing :-/ hobbits donāt recognise kingship so it wouldāve been very upsetting and disappointing to Pippin to understand how Denethor stood in position of sworn-father to a whole city of people without even being slightly fair to his younger hearth-son. Aragorn is demonstrably much better dad-material and therefore had Pippinās vote. Pippin, by virtue of being an excellent father-in-law to a spectacularly promising young son-in-law, also considered himself a better candidate for king of Gondor than Denethor, by outranking him in Dad Competence - but was too busy by the time he realized this to point this out .
Ironically, the events in which Pippin realized this made Faramir his own hearth-son - so Pippin won in the end and took a great interest in ceremonially approving of Eowyn. Gandalf never explained
I will buy that for a dollar, yup.
It crossed my dash again! The Hobbit Polyamory Post!
"With genetic test results back from U.C. Davis Laboratories of toe-hair samples from each side of his body, I am excited to share that this sheep
š IS INDEED a CHIMERA š
His black mouflon side is a genetically different individual from his black gray side. The lab ran the test twice just to be sure!
Oh but wait, THERE IS MORE!
He is ALSO a she!
The black mouflon side is male.
The black gray side is female!
What I can tell you beyond these test results, is that this beautiful creature successfully bred four solid patterned ewes this winter that produced a total of 9 lambs, of which all were either solid pattern or mouflon pattern; 5 rams and 4 ewes. "
Source: Grand Valley Icelandics
Initially I thought the zig zag between light and dark along the spine was just the lighting but no! That's the split in coat colours!
Thank you so much @draconym ! Look at those differences!

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So. We have a bit of an unusual problem. The Gloink Queen lives in a bioactive enclosure with isopods. I fed her isopods some corn as I try to give them variety in their diet.
Unfortunately, at some point The Gloink Queen set her egg ball down, saw a corn kernal, and in her teenie tiny mustard seed brain she decided this was not a corn. This was the ultimate egg ball.
I have tried to help her, this poor creature who pranked herself. However, every attempt to try to remove the corn, or hold it and chase her away from it to try to get her to take her actual egg ball?
Results in her entering a fight to the death with me to protect her corn kernal baby. I don't know what to do. She has done the equivalent of taking her child to the clothing store, then sprinted out with a well dressed child mannequin, then gotten into a hostage situation WITH THE POLICE while they try to retrieve the mannequin and reunite mother and child while she screamed, "I DON'T KNOW WHO THAT IS! THIS IS MY BABY! LEAVE US ALONE YOU MONSTER!"
She refuses any intervention and squares up with me if she thinks I will take her children of the corn. I'm hoping she figures it out.
This did not brace me for the actual contents of the site