queercoded villain | he/it

This is what 22 year olds on Tumblr are like

happy decade to the horrible beast i have wrought

had a bad low blood pressure moment last night and messily asked my partner for saltines and water before realizing i should probably ask for the Blood Pressure Medication I Need To Take. while they went to go grab it though i still had water and crackers so in a daze i took a swig of water but didnt swallow and then tried to cram 2 saltines in my mouth. full of water. in bed. with mouth full of water

[lawyer voice] mothers and fuckers of the jury-

DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I THINK ABOUT THIS POST??? IM IN LAW SCHOOL THIS POST IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE

reblog to ruin a law student’s life

Hi. I’m a trial attorney now and every last one of you is a motherfucker.

if i was a soccer player i'd simply kick that ball in the goal instead of wasting everyone's time

Mommy doesn't get it. Explain the joke. Explain the joke for Mommy.

Reblog this and tell me what was your biggest crying over a piece of fiction. You can be vague if you don't want to spoil.

whose dumb ass idiot fuck idea was it to make medicine cost money

wanna hang out [remembers it's rude to put expectations on people] it's cool if not [remembers people like to know they're wanted] but I'd really like it if you did [remembers selfishness is bad] we can do whatever you want though [remembers that handing someone a blank canvas isn't as effective as providing a suggestion to bounce ideas off of] like sucking each others fingers for example

IT GOT BETTER

The RomCom Aunties!

i suggest the contract is broken

Calico out there putting tuxedo on the mats