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@onesleepybitch

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Imagine if you met someone who can't eat watermelon. Not that they're allergic or unable somehow, but they just haven't figured out how to do that. So you're like "what the hell do you mean? it works just like eating anything else, you open your mouth, sink your teeth in, take a bite and chew. If you can bite, chew and swallow, you should be able to eat a watermelon."
And they agree that yes, they do know how to eat, in theory. The problem is the watermelon. Surely, if they figured out where to start, they'd figure out how to do it, but they have no clue how to get started with it.
This goes back and forth. No, it's not an emotional issue, they're not afraid of the watermelon. They can eat any other fruit, other sweet things, and other watery things ("it's watery?" they ask you). Is it the colour? Do they have a problem eating things that are green on the outside and red on the inside?
"It's red on the inside?"
Wait, they've never seen the inside? At this point you have to ask them how, exactly, they eat the watermelon. So to demonstrate, they take a whole, round, uncut watermelon, and try to bite straight into it. Even if they could bite through the crust, there's no way to get human jaws around it.
"Oh, you're supposed to cut it first. You cut the crust open and only chew through the insides."
And they had no idea. All their life this person has had no idea how to eat a watermelon, despite of being told again and again and again that it's easy, it's ridiculous to struggle with something so simple, there's no way that someone just can't eat a watermelon, how can you even mange to be bad at something as fucking simple as eating watermelon.
If someone can't do something after being repeatedly told to "just do it", there might be some key component missing that one side has no idea about, and the other side assumed was so obvious it goes without mention.
Yep.
https://drmaciver.substack.com/p/how-to-do-everything had a nice list of additional examples like this, with (non-)obvious major insights with regard to opening stitched bags, cleaning your bathroom floor, using a search engine, catching a ball, pinging somebody, proving a theorem, playing sudoku, passing as “normal”, improving your writing, generating novel ideas, and solving your problem.
If you’d asked me six months ago how to get better at something, I’d probably have pointed you to how to do hard things. I still think this is a good approach and you should do it, but I now think it’s the wrong starting point and I’ve been undervaluing small insights. [...]
I think my revised belief is that if you are stuck at how to get better at something, spend a little while assuming there’s just some trick to it you’ve missed. You can try to generate the trick yourself, but it’s probably easier to learn it by observing someone else being good at the thing, asking them some questions, and seeing if you have any lightbulb moment.
My fiance played the clarinet when he was in school. When he was first learning to play, he rented an instrument from the school to learn on. He was the last chair clarinet, had been for years, because he could not make notes that required the register key. For years, they kept making him do embrature exercises and he started to get a few notes, with lots of effort. Eventually he had to get private lessons to stay in band.
Every time he tells me this story, his frustration by this point in the story, years later, is evident. He still sounds frustrated by it, despite all the time that passed. Teachers had been giving him crap for years because he hadn't been making much progress with the instrument.
When he got to the private instructor, she acknowledged his frustration, and asked him to try to play for her. He did, and she saw all he was doing. She then did something no one else had done before. She asked him to put his mouthpiece on a different clarinet and try to play the same notes. Like magic, it worked. She looked at the clarinet he had been using and found that the school's clarinet needed it's pads replaced.
He went from last chair to first chair nearly overnight, having been taught far more techniques than typically taught at that age just to overcome the broken instrument preventing him from making noise.
Sometimes you don't need to brute force a problem. Sometimes your clarinet is just broken.
Not quite sure why the clarinet addition got me crying, but here you go people: just in case, let's get you some new pads.
this image made me so sad I had to clean him and give him a hot cocoa
This is Rocky Horror Picture Show. To me.
(image found on this post by @hairscare and @its-arson-time)

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Wonder what it's like to not constantly be in a state of existential crisis
sorry for being so weird and cringe and gross and awkward and disturbing and creepy and off putting. it will happen again
depression is over it’s done it is obliterated look at this fucking shirt i found at the thrift near my house
i need you guys to know that when i brought this home my mom was like WHAT is THAT. well i think you’re the only person on earth who would wear that, good that you found it
i show her this post every time it hits another thousand note milestone. she thinks we’re all ridiculous but no longer underestimates the Gay Desire For A Fun Shirt
good morning to the beaten and the damned only
it’s scary but you have to
let people love you
accept help
do the hard thing and do it scared
let your growth be slow

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my cat stopping me from petting her
her swift maneuver, for context
you have proven again and again that you can survive. this is just more of that.
thinking fondly of this meme I made for a coworker years and years ago
mutuals to sit under this thing with
Opposed to superstition and divination on principle but tarot cards can stay for as long as people keep using them as theming and symbolism for so much really very good and striking character/fan art.

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I think what made me the happiest about the Kendrick v Drake beef was that for a moment there, we were all listening to rap as rap is meant to be listened to. Active listening, media comprehension, focused, fun, and all to the sound of the spilled blood of a man's career being curb stomped. Generational experience. 10/10 would experience for the first time again.
thinking about the time also with some former roommates where one of them half jokingly was like "man i love monday because the kitchen is always spotless because Story cleans it on sunday" and i was like "what are you talking about" and they were like "you deep clean the kitchen every sunday?" and i was like "? no i don't i have absolutely no idea what you mean."
we went back and forth for 30 seconds and it got awkward really fast because it turns out all my other roommates thought i just had a compulsive need or some sort of desire to deep clean the kitchen every sunday and they just left me to it.
when in reality i was meal prepping for the entire week every sunday and when i finished i cleaned up after myself obviously—wiped the counters down, scraped gunk off the stove, scrubbed the sink, and swept the floor.
took me 10 minutes but always left it looking great.
then i didn't use the kitchen the whole rest of the week because i'd just grab my prepped meals in the morning and go out for all-day fieldwork.
but apparently nobody else ever cleaned up after themselves at all when they cooked. like they'd just leave food on the stove and counters and drop shit on the floor etc. and not clean it up so they thought every monday morning the kitchen was "deep cleaned" simply bc there wasn't old food on every surface.
i was like, "...........i've noticed the kitchen is always messy when i use it on sundays but i've always figured someone just used it and didn't get around to cleaning it up yet and i didn't mind because i'm always about to make a mess anyway............y'all just use the kitchen like that all week?"
and one of the guys (very funny, i liked him) looked around and realized I was the only woman* (*closeted at the time) living there and he went "this is really bad, like, optics wise."
"I love it when you deep clean"