accept that your fear of being disliked is not only warranted but INEVITABLE. consider that as a woman you are free from this game because no matter what you choose you will be wrong and people will be unhappy with you! :)
in the event you don't know what you're doing, consider that this is genuinely your first time fucking existing and you should be normal about it.
everyone is scared. literally. everyone. of everything. and if they say they're not it's because they're too scared to admit it which makes them more scared than everyone else.
competition is meaningless because ignorance is a permanent fixture of human existence.
virtue does not automatically equal morality. kill the christian capitalist in your head. "meekness" and "patience" and "niceness" are not automatically moral behaviours just because they make someone else feel good or make you feel validated in being nice.
it is unlikely that you will kill a stranger by being rude or mean to them
it is unlikely that you will kill someone you love by being a disappointment to them
people who never get embarrassed don't live. and embarrassment makes you endearing to others more often than not. even if they tease you about it. it's a human bonding thing.
people forget people faster than you think. you're not on that many people's minds for all that amount of time. no matter what you've done. they are chronic worriers.
if you do not feel brave enough to voice your disagreement BE SILENT and REFUSE to verbally agree or display compliance. just be silent and look unimpressed. practice.
people are just as likely to learn how to behave around you from your anger rather than be offended by it. many are more willing than you or them realize to adjust their behaviour to accommodate your emotions for their own convenience.
perfection is stupid in the world of the absurd. you are not getting rewarded for doing a good job. you are just self-flagellating to an audience that barely applauds you and rewards you with more work and impossible ideals if it does. if the reward isn't catharsis or pleasure, you're playing a game without prizes.
get fucking bored of it all. be straight up unimpressed.
indulge in haterism. pettiness is not automatically immoral.
don't demonize the impulse to be mean. observe it.
know that feeling evil and doing evil are two distinct things
people aren't rational and objective judges especially when it comes to women. they know a fraction about who you are so their opinion is likely to be horribly misinformed. and even if it isn't, you are at liberty to change yourself at any time.
people can become better without you. you're not that necessary to other people's growth. nor that destructive.
failure is not unique. it's the eternal companion of people actually doing something. stop being ashamed of doing something.
whenever you're afraid of being cringe, remember we're all going to die and check in to see if that fear still matters.
you hurt someone you loved? what a completely unique human experience. i'm sure no human ever has done that before. wow. how impressive and unique that you're just so uniquely horrible because of this thing that other people definitely haven't ever done in history. (people fucking kill and rape people here, btw).
perfection will not save you from judgement. if anything, people perceiving perfection just makes them pissed at you.
perfection is a fundamentally inhuman trait.
be okay with being disgusting to other people. because even they have to shit and piss. no one can do life clean.
you don't have to pretend to be confident. be confident in the insecurity you feel. stop "fixing" your feelings. just say "yeah i'm insecure about so and so." and then get on with your day. just acknowledge them when they arise. you don't have to do more than that. this works with many other feelings, too.
you are afraid of being judged by the people who are literally exactly like you. ignorant, scared, inexperienced, failing, rude, mean, virtuous, etc. you do not stand out. these are your fellow stupid brothers and sisters. they aren't here to save or fix you. they're here to relate. as companions. some are better for it than others.
i can't stress enough how half the battle of becoming confident enough to do all this is just acknowledging and accepting emotions you impulsively suppress. be it anger, fear, sadness or lust. like just stop policing your own emotions. you don't have to broadcast them, but stop trying to "fix" them. if you feel petty, feel petty. if you feel annoyed, feel annoyed. if you're horny, be horny. don't intellectualize, don't deconstruct, don't demonstrate. just observe. you'll stop treating yourself like a fucking alien over time.
TLDR: everyone here is normal including you. stop catastrophizing.