hey you!
yea you!!
your gender’s looking great today!!
whatever you identify as
however you prefer to present yourself
however you look
it looks great on you!!!!
This cheered me up! Thank you.
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@omgimdemiaro
hey you!
yea you!!
your gender’s looking great today!!
whatever you identify as
however you prefer to present yourself
however you look
it looks great on you!!!!
This cheered me up! Thank you.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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tbh, people having a crush on me is threatening. viscerally. and since idk how to let anyone down, at all, and definitely not gently? it turns out... i ghost people instead. oops
relatable
yeah, i think i'm gonna take on the agender label for real.
my understanding is "gender identity" is defined as "your internal sense of gender" and like, that is not an intelligible statement. i have spent a serious number of hours on this; it just isn't.
i could agree that there are two socially constructed gender roles that we assign to bodies based on our reading of the sex of those bodies. (and if we don't think we can read the sex of a body: anxiety happens, because it disrupts this deeply trained process.)
i could agree that i have learned to present well enough as my assigned sex to avoid being policed. this is where it gets all circular: i allow my body to have signs of its sex, and perform the gender role 'enough' to avoid causing anxiety, confusion, backlash. i (like to think i) have more creative things to do with my energy than invest more than necessary into this performance.
i could agree i am what i am, and that i don't conceptualize of my traits or interests in terms of gender. conversely, my gender does not inform the things i pursue. i do not feel validated by performing normalized behavior for my gender role; i do not feel diminished by performing nonconforming behavior. i don't feel a need to do anything to "feel like" my gender.
i don't even know what "feeling like" a gender is like? i tested out the other gender role, but it was the same thing with a lot of misogyny heaped on.
when i choose to display gender non-conforming behaviors, it's not because "knitting expresses my gender" but because i want to push on the externally imposed chains of gender roles, breaking them down bit by bit. people read my sex as male, but knitting, and maybe get inspired to push on their own cages a bit.
when i choose not to display these, it's not because i'm feeling different about gender liberation, it's because i'm feeling tired of all the policing that non-conformance invites.
after all of this, then, i don't know what an 'internal feeling of gender' is. i have not lost sight of gender's artificiality.
Wow! Congratulations!
Y’all… what do you guys do for a living… but describe it in the worst way possible.
"... the IBM Selectric was such a superior machine to the ten-year-old Smith-Corona portable it had replaced that my output zoomed up from six pages per eight hours of sweating to thirty pages—and no sweat at all! Imagine that! A machine that could produce five times as much shit. Just what the world needed." -- David Gerrold
keep popularising the body neutrality movement gang i wanna see how the makeup and weight loss industries try to capitalise on 'i literally do not give two shits about how i look'

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Neither hypervisibility nor invisibility is a privilege. Repeat it. Repeat it again. Hit yourself over the head with it. Do whatever it takes for you to internalize compassion for your peers with different issues. Being gawked at, fetishized, tokenized, and forced into the spotlight is not a privilege. Being ignored, silenced, neglected, and dismissed is not a privilege. Being forced to be an ambassador for your identity is not a privilege. Being told that you don’t even count as a member of your identity is not a privilege.
I want to boost everything this person has said and add on.
The reason I call myself a tomboy now, despite it being seen as a childish word and having had someone swear at me over it because ‘tHeRe’S nO suCh thInG as BoY thInGs anD giRL thIngS sHut uP’ is because I couldn’t call myself that or be like that when I was a kid. It was seen as a negative thing and I was already bullied enough. “Looking like a boy” was the worst thing that could happen to a girl.
And I’m not even 26 yet. We aren’t talking 30+ years ago, we are talking 2000s and even 2010s. It’s only since trans people have become more accepted in the past few years that gender nonconformity has too.
And the people who helped me accept my gender nonconformity more than anyone else? Were trans people. They taught me, “there’s nothing wrong with how you feel. You’re still a valid woman no matter what you wear, how you have your hair or what you’re into ❤️”
And don’t even get me started on how people treat gender nonconforming men. JK Rowling has a lot of nerve to be like “uwu boys can wear dresses and only us gendercrits accept that!” when she has, even in recent works, made femininity in men a negative trait, as well as making masculinity in women a negative trait also.
A lot of people still don’t accept gnc people even now. Just last year I had someone tell me they’d never let their daughter “dress like a boy”, and I’m always terrified to walk into a bathroom in case the next JK Rowling is in there, sees my gender expression and pepper sprays me or worse.
“There’s no such thing as boy things and girl things.” I don’t need to be told that and I’m sure 99% of trans people also don’t need to be told that. Tell that to the society that hates us both instead of actively encouraging that hate.
Gonna point out the og tweet thread is now full of terfs saying that life was better for gay people in the fucking 80s, that it was super easy for them to be a tomboy in the 70s and 80s and therefore it must have been that way for everyone, and that it was totally acceptable to be a gnc gay person in the 80s! 🤪
They’re rewriting history as we speak to try to argue trans acceptance is making it harder to be gay and gnc for youth than it was to be gay in the 80s. This is a blatant lie.
The fucking 80s??? As in, “aids crisis” 80s?? As in, “the government actively avoided funding research to help gay people” 80s????
Man I knew terfism was brain rot but I didn’t think it was this bad.
Actually I'm not going to just keep this in the tags
"queer spaces are for everyone but cis men! safe spaces include everyone but cis men!"
okay
that will require stealth trans men to out themselves in order to receive help
that will require closeted trans women to out themselves in order to receive help
that will require nonbinary people who don't ""look nonbinary"" because they look too masculine to out themselves in order to receive help
it will also alienate transfems & trans people who were AMAB who haven't realized they're trans yet from spaces that could provide them a safe place to explore gender & sexuality and be introduced to the idea of being trans
trans people are eventually going to get uncomfortable with your hatred for cis men, because people who were AMAB are gonna wonder if you secretly hate them for being "actually men" and trans mascs are gonna wonder if you hate them for being men at all
people attracted to cis men are going to feel uncomfortable when they try and bring up their love for men including cis men or bring their cis boyfriends/partners/friends to your spaces
there are cis queer men & queer men who blur the lines between cis and trans and they have just as much a right to queer spaces as you do
^ intersex men also exist including intersex cis men
there is never going to be a group of people who it is alright to blindly hate just because of circumstances of their birth or identity and every time you try you are going to end up hurting people. embrace compassion and nuance
edit: to be clear, "cis queer men" includes gay cis men, bi cis men, aro & ace cis men, etc. etc. & cis queer men who are verifiably cis are still very much queer
real freedom includes the right to be a fucked-up dysfunctional weirdo. when you lack this right, your inability or refusal to comply with social norms will be used as a pretext to take away your other freedoms. all of us are fucked-up weirdos on the inside, so with sufficiently hostile and intrusive surveillance anyone can be unpersoned.
Fucked-up dysfunctional weirdo with full rights to and supports available to ensure whatever needs can be functionally met and are desired by said weirdo are filled.
If you don't support the rights of kooks, weirdos, freaks, oddballs, and funky fellows then get out.
The pathologization and criminalization of pecularity doesn't only affect the neurodivergent and the mentally ill, it can and will be used by the state against "normal" people the moment they step out of line.
Not only is it good to support the rights of freaks and weirdos on the grounds of protecting the rights of the neurodivergent and mentally ill, it's also good on the grounds of cutting off a vector of state repression against the general public.

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every time a woman talks about getting cosmetic surgery lip fillers botox buccal fat removal PREVENTATIVE botox labiaplasty rhinoplasty any of the plastys i feel like i'm being sucked down a fucking storm gutter. it's so bleak and it's so grim and it's so profoundly upsetting. here's how to sleep so you don't get wrinkles! here's how to laugh and smile so you don't get wrinkles! here's this horrifically over involved skincare routine that you should start as a teenager to prevent any indication that you've lived a life free from the omnipresent fear of being observed and subsequently found lacking! you are empowering yourself by constantly placing every piece of your body into separately managed boxes of routines and standards! this should be your hobby! your body is not just for you! the world is entitled to dictate how you look and how you feel about yourself and the unattainable goals are always changing and you will never ever rest! but you should get more sleep! don't look old! look fresh! be fuckable! be cool! make this look low effort! don't be high maintenance! your earlobes are ugly! you're ugly! you're so beautiful! beauty is everything! beauty is worth! self consciousness is so unattractive! make the other women in your life feel inhuman for not sticking to the rules as well as you have! this is a sisterhood! this is a direct competition! kill the competition! support women! other women are doing it wrong! don't be like other women! be the best woman! we'll stop punishing the best woman! i'm going to be fucking sick on myself.
Hi! Really appreciate all your posts on gender and colonialism. If it's alright to ask, if white people use NB identity as a reaction to European gender ideology, is the "true" (as much as anything can be) rejection of colonialist gender to not adhere to a label at all but rather refuse classification? Apologies if I misinterpreted your point, and thank you for sharing your insights
I understand how you got here because this is the "making prescriptions for other people's behaviour" website but I am not making a prescription for anyone else's behaviour. I couldn't care any less how individual white people identify. Meaningful resistance to the colonial gender binary will have to occur in arenas other than that of personal identification; in fact, the fantasy of complete personal divestment from the colonial gender binary is a part of the tendency I'm trying to criticise here.
The other thing I'm criticising is a taxonomical view of gender—"taxonomical" here meaning "assuming that each identity label describes a unique, innate facet of the human experience that people merely attached a word to, rather than understanding categories as historically and culturally constructed." This taxonomical view of gender leads to the assumption that "nonbinary" is an innate, pre-discursive category to which some people ontologically (inherently, by virtue of their very being) belong—so you get people calling "pre-colonial," Indigenous, or Global South people or groups "nonbinary" despite the fact that they did not or do not understand gender this way.
Assuming the right to construct categories and subcategories, to decide how they are organised and nested, to sort people into groups according to these categories and subcategories regardless of whether they themselves have a different understanding of gender grounded in a different context—in short, assuming that these categories get to the "real truth" of human nature or something, such that you are doing no disservice to anyone in applying them to everyone—this is the colonial gender project. This is the logic that produces the gender binary as a tool of colonial domination in the first place.
My argument is that the imposition of any term or mode of understanding gender against and across Indigenous understandings of gender when referring to Indigenous peoples, the construction of any taxonomy of gender with the assertion that it is the One Correct Way to understand gender—the argument is that these things play out colonial logic, and thus the very gendered logic that they purport to resist. But an individual chusing to identify themself as nonbinary is not automatically imposing anything on anyone.
Again, I understand where you're coming from here, but I get this question a lot (really, every time I talk about gender and colonialism), and I think it's useful to ask why. Why should criticising certain modes of understanding, knowing, and imposing knowledge as colonial lead to a request that I clarify what I think this means for how individual white people identify? To be honest that's just not something that concerns or interests me.
NOTE: this essay is a 15 minute read. If it’s listed as longer than that, it’s because it contains a list of over 100 references at the…
A brand new essay, many weeks in the making: "Gender-Affirming Care for Trans Youth Is Neither New nor Experimental: A Timeline and Compilation of Studies."
It provides a brief history of how gender-affirming care came to be, debunks the most common anti-trans talking points & tactics, and includes a reference list of over 100 studies & reviews showing how established this field is. I hope that it's a useful resource to counter the current wave of trans-skeptical and just-asking-questions media pieces.
This is a no-paywall link, please share with others and give it lots of "claps" (up to 50, I think) so that other Medium users will see it!
you have to understand that there is an overlap between drag queens and trans women and between trans women and cis lesbians and between lesbians and drag kings and between drag kings and trans men and between trans men and cis gay men and between gay men and drag queens and between lesbians and bisexual women and between gay men and bisexual men and between lesbians and asexual women and between gay men and asexual men and between all sexualities and nonbinary people and between butches and transmascs and between binary trans people and genserqueer people.
basically what I'm saying is that we're all family. there aren't clear divides or walls that separate us. and that's the point. being easily separated into perfect neat little boxes is exactly what queerphobic people want. don't let your oppressers trick you into thinking your family is your enemy.
if you tried to map out our community, you wouldn't get a bunch of neat circles that don't touch or overlap or have any relationship with each other at all. you'd get this.
And never forget that our enemies don't see any difference between any of these labels. They want us ALL dead
natural order

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absolutely wild that people will construct gender roles, police them, and then turn around and say "it seems like there's an innate/biological difference."
my main interaction with gender are experiences like:
i wear masculine stuff so that i don't get policed
whenever i transgress anyway, like taking up knitting, people act like it's a Spectacle, including people who KNOW i think gender can go fuck itself
people talk about "i need to feel like [my assigned gender]" and i 100% do not get this feeling/need
my maleness does not give me a sense of embodied gender, but other people talk as if it does/should
the 'other people' in last point may support bioessentialism, but then the one before immediately overthrows it. and both are on equal footing, in the realm of personal (not cultural) experience.
so yeah, it's a strange gender dystopia out here in america
Happy pride month wishing everyone a very don’t forget about disabled queers