Andy @ohmyilluvatar - Tumblr Blog

Disney really be like:

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badsciencejokes

Long ago the 4 Stotles’ lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Firestotle attacked 🔥 — view on Instagram https://ift.tt/35AMBXl

ohmyilluvatar

Only the Plato, master of all four philosophies, could stop them. But when the world needed him most, he vanished

#random #history jokes #avatar the last airbender

red-winters

why are chickens such menaces to the player in AC Odyssey???

ohmyilluvatar

To punish us for killing the chicken in Riverrun.

shesnake

never bothered watching the movie but I feel this frame on a spiritual level

ohmyilluvatar

My last three brain cells

outofcontextreddead

“Nobody puts Bernie in a corner.” - Angelo Bronte (Red Dead Redemption 2)

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catchymemes

What vets do behind closed doors

vortexsophia-deactivated2022110

i was so afraid i was going to scroll and it was going to be bad. i feel way better

somewhereinthebetween

Can confirm.

lasrina

Me: *surrenders tiny corgi puppy to vet tech who takes him to the back room for routine shots*

Me: *waits nervously* Oh no, they found something really bad

Vet tech: *returns with puppy*

Me: is hE OKAY

Vet tech: Oh! Yeah! He’s great! He did great!

Me: Oh thank God, I was getting really worried.

Vet tech: …

Vet tech: We had to let everyone pet him

marzipanandminutiae

Roommate is vet tech; can confirm

fuzzballsheltiepants

It’s not unheard of when I do puppy or kitten exams for one of the assistants (or even another vet) to swoop in, grab the puppy or kitten, and disappear with it for “socialization,” which mostly consists of every single person in the hospital cooing and telling said pet how cute he or she is. Quite often loudly enough for the client to hear.

Litter exams end up being a rotation, with me examining/vaccinating/deworming one while the others get spirited away, and me having to yell out “Next!” into the hallway when it’s time to swap.

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

why are birds so cursed

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

A Non-Comprehensive List of Birds That Piss Me Off

1. Dracula Parrot. This thing pisses me off like, a bunch

2. King Vulture. the felted craft project equivalent of a haunted ventriloquist dummy

i will never not resent this bird

3. Jacana Bird. This is the most unnecessary cursed nonsense. i deserve an apology for having to look at this. I can feel its fingers stroking my ears

No it does not have SIX FREAKING LIMBS. it’s carrying its stupid creepy spawn under its wings. A+ parents but still, piss off. even the normal 2 legged version isn’t much better

put those AWAY.

4. The Shoebill, which i’m sure we’re all sick of hearing about. this thing is the epitome of a crappy photorealistic cgi disney villainy. i despise this bird.

also this is what they look like standing up. i just feel like i shouldn’t have to deal with that, i really do.

5. Inca Tern. truly, hipsters ruin everything

6. Tragopan. it looks like a star wars species, which i dislike on principle

7. The Secretary Bird. it wears yoga pants.

also i’m uncomfortable with the length of its eyelashes

8. finally, i really dislike this one specific parakeet

in conclusion, these birds exist to haunt me and this knowledge is a burden. birds exist to observe our sin; always watching, they are filled with malice. flee from them

captainlordauditor

I was like, “these are all fine” until I saw the shoebill standing up. What the fuck.

wolg-fang

This is so rude miss Secretary Bird is serving FACE

faustic-trobairitz

Not to bring up peter jacksons h*bb*t trilogy (yuck) on main, but do you know how horrible of a writing choice was making the elves vegetarians for laughs? Elven history is full of legendary hunters. Hell, the god that first taught them how to road trip (an important part of elven culture) is literally the GOD OF HUNTING. In fact, we have more evidence for elves hunting than farming! Implying otherwise is celegorm erasure and i will NOT stand for it!

penny-anna

possible explanations:

1) they just fed the dwarves lettuce to fuck with them bcos they’re assholes

2) elves don’t hunt for meat they hunt to get up close to animals & pet them like wolverine

3) the elves in rivendell are mistakenly under the impression that DWARVES are vegetarians and wanted them to feel welcome

penny-anna

I thought of another one:

4) elves are Catholic & the dwarves arrived on a Friday

taxfrauddotcom

#read a book peter #the hobbit #lord of the rings #the silmarillion #tolkien #ded #im here for the discourse #elven culture

arowitharrows

Do any other aros hate being called single? Like aside from all the general negativity surrounding the term, it just seems to imply that it's only a passing state, and that at some point your status will change to not single, and that you want it that way. I feel like saying I'm single is close to saying I'm available for a romantic relationship, which I'm not and will never be.

ohmyilluvatar

And somehow being termed single gives everyone permission to grill you about “potential” partners?

#i’m not a fan of single #aromantic

schoolofrock-deactivated2021112

new girl characters + #relatable → nick miller

#newgirledit #new girl #nick miller

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a-dinosaur-a-day

Helicoprion: What if, like, teeth,

Mesosaurus: Yeah?

Helicoprion: but WHEEL

Mesosaurus: No don’t -

Helicoprion:

(Image by ДиБгд)

a-dinosaur-a-day

Drepanosaurus: What if, like, tail,

Rutiodon: Yeah?

Drepanosaurus: But CLAW

Rutiodon: How would you -

Drepanosaurus:

(by @drawingwithdinosaurs)

aegis-destiny

Igunaodon: What if, like, thumb,

Hypselospinus: Yeah?

Igunaodon: But like spike

Hypselospinus: But why would you ne-

Igunaodon:

i-draws-dinosaurs

Stegosaurus: What if, like, tail

Camptosaurus: Yeah?

Stegosaurus: But SHARP

Camptosaurus: But what would y-

Stegosaurus:

ridiculouslyphotogenicsinosauru

Pelagornis: what if, like, beak

Paramobula: I’m listening

Pelagornis: but TEETH

Paramobula: what possible reason would you have t-

Pelagornis:

(Image by Peter Trusler)

shadows-and-science-gone-mad

Cotylorhynchus: What if, like, head

Moschops: Okay?

Cotylorhynchus: But SMALL

Moschops: What? No, why the he-

Cotylorhynchus:

lady-laufey

Erythrosuchus: Okay but what if, head

Cotylorhynchus: I’m listening…

Erythrosuchus: But HUGE

Cotylorhynchus: What no pump the breaks there why-

Erythrosuchus:

rave-lord-nito

Sharovipteryx: Okay, but what if like, wings

Kyrgyzsaurus: Okay?

Sharovipteryx: on my BACK LEGS

Kyrgyzsaurus: Wait hold on now, why would you put them-

Sharovpiteryx:

lady-laufey

Deinocheirus: Okay, but what if…

Barsboldia: What if what?

Deinocheirus: : )

Barsboldia: What are you doing, what is this, wh-

Deinocheirus:

bats-at-the-disco-deactivated20

Therizinosaurus: Ok what if claw…

Deinocheirus: Alright go on….

Therizinosaurus: But l o n g

Deinocheirus: You eat planet for heavens sake why in the world would yo—

Therizinosaurus: SUCK IT IM WOLVERINE

wandering-shepard

Azhdarchidae: What if, like, fly?

Pterosauria: Okay… what about it?

Azhdarchidae: But HE A D

Pterosauria: What does that even-

Azhdarchidae:

plasticozoic

Thylacoleonidae: ok, what if vegetarian teeth Diprotodontia: sure Thylacoleonidae: but for MEATING

Diprodontia: how are you even going to do this

Thylacoleonidae: you are like baby, watch THIS -

sepialunaris

Brachytracholepan: What if neck

Tehuelchesaurus: yep thats basically our identity

Brachytrachelopan: but chonk

Tehuelchesaurus: WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

Brachytrachelopan: Chungus time

mrvokiman

Ichthyovenator: What if, like, sail

Spinosaurus: Yes?

Ichthyovenator: but HOLE

Spinosaurus: Why would you-

Ichthyovenator:

darth-felis-deactivated20200625

Parasaurolophus: What if, you know, crest

Gryposaurus: Cool, go on

Parasaurolophus: but more

Gryposaurus: …okay?

Parasaurolophus: and trumpet

Gryposaurus: For wha-

Parasaurolophus: BIIIIIIIIIIGGGG HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNK

mantis-cat

Yi Qi: What if, um, Wing

Anchiornis: Yes, yes go on,

Yi Qi: but, more skin

Anchiornis: But we are all doing this feth…….

Yi Qi: FLAP FLAP

fabfuta1234

Eoabelisaurus: What if, like, hand.

Asfaltovenator: Yeah?

Eoabelisaurus: But like, nub?

Asfaltovenator: But wouldn’t that–

90 MILLION YEARS OF EVOLUTION LATER

“…damnit!”

warriormoustache

Kaprosuchus: Okay so.. teeth, yeah?

Crocodyliformes: Mmhmm?

Kaprosuchus: But they’re tusks

Crocodyliformes: Oh God..

Kaprosuchus: And I’m twenty feet long

Crocodyliformes: Don’t do it..

Kaprosuchus: And upright.

Crocodyliformes: Please sto-

Kaprosuchus:

morgan-the-lonely-brick

Stethacanthus: okay, what if fin…

Cretoxyrhina: Yeah, what about it?

Stethacanthus: But anvil

Cretoxyrhina: What

Stethacanthus: with teeth

Cretoxyrhina: Nonononodon’t-

Stethacanthus: and teeth on forehead

Cretoxyrhina: STOP

Stethacanthus:

cassie-heartgal

Opabinia: Hey, so–

Anomalocaris: oh God what now??

Opabinia: what if… Eye

Anomalocaris: no, stop

Opabinia: but FIVE

Anomalocaris: I SAID STOP

Opabinia: NOSE CLAW

Anomalocaris: YOU WHA–

Opabinia:

#shitpost #prehistoric life #palaeontology #fuck yeah science

thoodleoo

i know basically nothing about hieroglyphs but what i can tell all of you is that this particular glyph is shaped like a Friend. thank you for coming to my tedtalk

thatlittleegyptologist

#i think this is an F-glyph? egyptologist friends let me know if im talking out my ass

Yes it’s the ‘horned viper’ sign (Gardiner sign I9) and most commonly used to write the masculine first person personal pronoun ‘he/him/his’ as =f

Here is a real one!

It’s venomous, and the venom can cause hemorrhaging, but still friend shaped if you’re into bitey friends

fageleh

my pronouns are he/him/his (venomous)

naamahdarling

he/him/hiss

ohmyilluvatar

#random #I too identify as Crowley #incorrect good omens #egyptian stuff

tachiharas-brother-deactivated2

You may have your “romance” and your “sex”, but I have four stuffed animal sheep who’ve been with me since I was a baby, so who’s the real winner here?

#asexuality #asexual #actually asexual #aromantic #actually aromantic

kivcraft

zagreuses-toast

modern day who’s on second

official-lucifers-child

“me saw who! me saw who!!!”

wolfwarrior142

I cannot stop watching this video. It’s fucking hilarious and I’ve watching it’s approximately 20 times already

ohmyilluvatar

ME SAW WHOOOOOO

#among us #gaming #funny

memeclassheroes

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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