what are you doing um with those ants ;)

am i allowed to say kill all trillionaires or is that too specific of a threat

First humans ever to leave the solar system suddenly drop out of communications and the ship can't be found with any equipment. After one month of no contact their home countries start reluctantly holding funerals for the space heroes only for them all to turn up, healthy, well fed and extremely disoriented, in the middle of Tokyo, talking about alien abduction. Turns out that aliens found the poor humans straying out of their solar system, presumably lost, and took them to Alien Wildlife Rehabilitation before dumping them back in the middle of their native habitat.

I’ll bet they have cool new tattoos that turn out to be tracking devices too. Just in case these spirited individuals try to make another break for it.

... do the tats make them stupid popular, like that time scientists gave birds tracker anklets and it accidentally made them ultra fuckable

Let’s say yes. Those alien scientists are learning so much, and none of it is accurate.

Evil wizard tasteful pin-up magazine but it's all photos of like, skinny old goths coyly fingering cursed amulets, long-bearded sorcerers doing the 'oopsie' pose as their corrosive destruction spell destroys enough of their own robes to show some skin, naked desiccated lich king positioning his staff of human skulls just so it leaves something to the imagination, dark knights in full armor just holding their soul-eating blades out in front of their codpieces, orc chieftain who did not understand the assignment and is posing with a monster he killed like one of those guys-with-fish photos. Or maybe he DID understand the assignment. Hmm.

You've heard of parallel play, now get ready for perpendicular play.

Hot cross buns?

fake people pleasers when marlon brando arrives

on your what

From now on this is how all petty fandom disputes should be settled.

becoming the oppressor is not liberation!!!!!

WHY IS THE SUN GOING DOWN.

(answering the phone) yes? (pause) right. okay. (pause) I see. (deadpanning the camera) we have to find māui. we have to get māui to beat up the sun again we have to slow that fucker right down

5pm sunset is a fucking injustice

we have to do something about this

You have to watch the dosage.

You have to watch the dosage.