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@ohkaycedarling

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Birthday kerropi !! đâ¤ď¸
Things I Need:
1. An orgasm 2. Attention 3. $50,000
I used to carry candy bars in my backpack because it always worked out for children in stories to befriend strange beings with offers of chocolate. I figured, hey, I might not meet a dragon with a sweet tooth on my way to school, but I might need to symbolically break bread with a stranger, and chocolate seems like a safe bet.
The habit never really left me - I filled my coat pockets with Halloween candy, just in case. While studying abroad in Morocco, I came laden with chewing gum and chocolate pieces. Offering some to strangers in tense or awkward situations warmed them to me instantly. I consider a small store of âdecent candyâ to be a traveling essential. You never know who might experience a blood sugar crash or a Dementor attack, and chocolate can be a good substitute for charisma when you need a stranger to like you.
I feel like Iâve been warned before, like⌠A lot, not to take candy from strangers.
Yeah, but nobody warned you not to offer it, did they?

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kingdom hearts 4

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little kids are so creepy
example: i have a student who kisses me on the arm every day and whispers, âthere, now youâll live until tomorrowâ and one day he didnât kiss me and when he came to school the next morning he looked genuinely surprised to see me alive
head, shoulders, bees and toes
BEES?
and toes
(bees and toes)
file under âmovies to watch when feeling sadâ
Cult classics

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Remus Lupin: Sirius you did what.
Inspired by this post and others by lotstradamus
#i want the 50k story of facepalming remus and panicked sirius with kidnapped baby harry on the run from dumbledore (via meh-guh)
theboredomisdeadly
Ok but hasnât it been shown that a single stupefy wouldnât be enough to have an effect on hagrid due to his giant blood?
clearly this means that hagrid pretended that the stupefy knocked him out, gently laid down on the ground so the baby wasnât jostled, and pretended to snore while sirius ran the fuck away
possibly interrupting himself mid-snore to offer advice
*Hagrid sits up*
âSUPPORT âIS LIâIL HEAD, YE GREAT IDIOT!âÂ
*lies down*
*Sirius climbs on motorbike*
*Hagrid sits up again*
âDONâ FERGET TO BURPÂ âIM AFTER A FEEDIN!â
*Motorbike zooms off*
*Hagrid sits up, cups hands and yells*
âANâ MAKE SURE âE SLEEPS ON âIS BACK!âÂ
*lies down again for another five minutes for good measure*
then he lies there mumbling about how he shouldnâtâve said that
This is fucking fantastic
Still one of the best posts/additions.Â
The math books warned us about you