love u, mean it

how my ex gf and her partner look at me after cooking me dinner

santa put me on the Nuanced list this year

calling in to work sick with a “weird dream”

The science behind THC + alcohol as a combination is literally soo interesting because it basically causes the crimson red duckling in your body to confront the serpent in the bronze vessel of your heart. Basically you feel good because the duckling is able to eat the harmonious seeds stored within the vessel and transfer these positive energies into your body. You can have bad highs when this happens if the duckling awakens the serpent and it bites the duckling. The interesting part is when you ingest alcohol after THC because it floods the vessel and causes the serpent to fall into a deep sleep. The duckling never gets attacked by the serpent when this happens because it is unconscious and the duckling is actually able to get fat from the harmonious seed, which causes an enjoyable sensation.

look at this loser. he looks like he moans when he wipes his asshole [remembers not to be homophobic] But he’s married to a woman [doesn’t want to sound too congratulatory] An ugly woman [doesn’t want to be misogynistic] With a great personality [doesn’t want to sound too congratulatory] Who moans when she wipes her asshole. [satisfied smirk]

i need to stand ankle deep in a creek about this