Quality humor at its lowest

just found a cross of miquella in a candy store. read "I abandon here my dollars five"

What I eat in a day as a low agency emotionally manipulative performative metrosexual avoidant ADHD Adult male

stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household

The whole photo is gold but I especially like that the automated feeder is taped to the fucking floor.

Just graduated from Begging Dog University with a master’s in Boiling Water

"Centipedes don't fuck" is one of my favorite animal facts. There are plenty of sexually reproducing animals that don't fuck per se (like a lot of fish) but centipedes don't even meet. Males just leave sperm packets lying on the fucking ground and females pick them up and take them home. They don't even hang out

i was speaking with a guy i work with and when leaving i said okay see you monday and he went oh no i wont be in monday. im going bald. and i said ?you're what? and he just repeated im going bald monday. wont be in

update: he didn’t show up on Monday and on Tuesday he was bald

He couldn't have been clearer.

Random stinging pain in my neck 👀

atacked by my #MindWasp

Can you put those things on a leash please

Yeah. a really Long one so they can still get u tho

they added another luftballon while you were sleeping

teaching a baby to talk via morshu youtube poops in an attempt to create a “morshu accent”