Constant Fiction

I talk about them all the time. the trick is to find someone you’re comfortable with or someone who’s also not normal about the character.

It wasn't even the fact that he woke up in the future, all his friends except Dum Dum and Peggy were dead, and he was still mourning Bucky, who, for everyone else, had died decades ago, but the very fact of society's expectations for him.

Steve was awakened from the ice, and people expected the great Captain America, whose myth had grown over the years, the experience and wisdom of a hundred-year-old man…

And Steve was a goddamn 26 years old.

Part 1: Welcome to Hawkins

(Slowburn) Billy Hargrove x Reader

...Part 2, ...(Masterlist)

A/N: I would like to say that I have recently tested positive to Covid and will be out of work until the 17th of July. This sucks, kind of, because I love my job. But, it also means that 98% of my time will not be dedicated to this fic… It has kind of spiralled out of control and I have written so much already. I hope you guys like this and although the main character's eventual pairing will be with Billy Hargorve, this is a SLOW burn, it is going to take a while because the reader knows how valuable they are and would never settle for the abusive asshole Billy is when he is first introduced. We are here for the DEVELOPMENT. No matter what, I enjoyed writing this. I hope you enjoy reading it.   Word Count: 2,472 Warnings: mentions of death, trauma, guilt

Billy Hargrove was an asshole. There was no way around it. He was rude, crude, drank like a fish, and smoked like a chimney. He had his mothers eyes and his fathers temper.

In a seemingly random series of events you found your fate tangling with his. It’s hard for you to say exactly when this convergence began. But, it was most likely around the time your world turned upside down. 

When Will Byers disappeared in November of 1983, you were one of the first people questioned. You were 17 at the time but you had been babysitting in Hawkins since you were 14. It was just your mom and you for as long as you could remember. Your mom was a nurse at Hawkins General Hospital and worked the night shift. She always made sure you had enough but that didn't stop you from helping with the bills where you could. 

You regularly worked for the Wheelers, and even got paid extra on campaign nights. Normally it wasn’t a bad deal. Mike, Dustin, Will, and Lucas were always well behaved. All you really had to do was watch them, feed them, put them to bed, and make sure they didn't die. Sounds simple, right? Unfortunately, Hawkins was cursed. 

Will didn't make it home that night and your life would forever be altered by the madness that ensued. 

You had been wracked with guilt when you heard one of your kids had gone missing. Nancy tried to reassure you that there was nothing you could have done. You had been watching them all day and when you had left that night, they were still playing D and D. There had been plenty of people in the house, including Nancy. She even tried to invite you to come along with her and Barb to Steve’s party. She said it would help get your mind off things and just relax, like the three of you always did. You almost accepted. Almost.

You would never fully forgive yourself for turning them down. Even when Barb had called you that night, begging you to come so she wouldn’t have to be the fifth wheel. You refused, giving her some half baked excuse about having a headache. 

That would be the last conversation you had with her.

You planned to apologise to both of them the next day, after school. You would make it up to them. Rent a sappy romantic movie, eat popcorn, and they could tell you all about the party. Those hopes would soon die when Nancy explained what had happened at the party and how she hadn't seen Barb since the night before. The two of you went over to the Harrington’s place, looking for any sign of your lost friend. That afternoon in the woods would be your first brush with the paranormal. 

Going to the police got you nowhere. The guilt ate at your insides until you were desperate for answers. So, when Johnathan Byers  told you about monsters coming out of walls, you believed him. 

That night in the woods, when Nancy disappeared, it nearly broke you. How was it possible for you to lose so many people. It just wasn't fair. You cried when Johnathan pulled her from the hole in the tree. Your relief would be short lived. When Nancy described the other side it turned your insides. Just imagining Barb trapped in a place like that… you would have done anything to rescue her. 

You had never had many friends but Nancy and Barb were the best friends a girl could ask for. The three of you had become instant friends when you first met as children. They were a year behind you in school but were so smart and always helped you to understand the subjects you were weaker in. They were the only reason you were passing pre-calculus and that you had any socialisation outside of babysitting. Whatever that thing was, you were going to find a way to beat it and rescue Barb. 

You, Nancy, and Johnathan made plans to lure in the monster and kill it. There was a slight snag in the plan when Nancy saw what Tommy H. had written on the theatre board and Johnathan ended up in handcuffs. Luckily, Jim Hopper was the closest thing you had to a dad. Well, more like a drunk uncle. You were thankful he believed all of you when you explained what was happening. Having Hopper in your corner mady you feel a million times better. Unfortunately, the feeling was not mutual. Hopper made it very clear how he felt about you being involved in all this. If you weren’t as stubborn as him, he would have made you go home. 

When he saw how determined you were to save Barb he couldn't help but smile, pulling you into a tight hug. He grumbled that it was no use, that you were just like your old man. It always made you weirdly happy and sad at the same time when he said things like that. You couldn’t remember much about your dad, he had died before you got the chance to really know him. You knew that He and Hopper had served together in the Army. But, Hopper didn't like to talk about it much. 

When you were all on the same page, you managed to contact Mike on the radio after you remembered it was how the little group liked to communicate. Seeing the kids all together again made you happy they were safe but you couldn't help but feel the void left by Will. You knew Nancy felt it too. There was something unspoken between the two of you. Like you couldn’t look each other in the eye without thinking of Barb. It made your heart ache. 

When the time came for El to find Barb and Will, you could barely breathe. Then you heard the young girl murmur a single word. 

“Gone.” 

Gone. Barb was gone, and it was all your fault. It felt like someone had scooped out your insides. All you could think about was Barb and how you should have been there for her. But now it was too late, she was gone forever. You didn’t realise you were crying until Hopper pulled you into his arms.

“It wasn’t your fault, kid.” he had said, squeezing you tightly. His words fell on deaf ears. You felt numb, like the world wasn’t really there. You watched him leave with Joyce, on the way to rescue Will…

You sat alone in the empty halls of the Middle School, drowning in your own thoughts, until you felt Nancy sit next to you. She didn’t look at you, only taking your hand and stating, in an eerily calm voice, “We’re going to kill it.”

Then the numbness inside of you gave way to a new feeling. It was a hot feeling that spread through you, burning. Vengeance.

You, Nancy, and Johnathan gather your supplies, set the trap, and slit your palms. Then, you waited. There were a thousand things you thought could happen that night. But, Steve Harrington showing up was the last among them. And it only went south from there. 

After the first attack you were shaken. You would have run out of the house with Steve if it weren’t for the thought of Barb alone. That thing was the reason you felt this way. It was the reason your friend was gone. You were going to kill it, or die trying. You gripped your father’s colt .45 and stood with your back against Nancy and Johnathan.

It all happened so fast. The gun in your hand jerked as you fired round after round into the monster. You turned around and for a split second, your eyes locked on Nancy’s. You saw the fear there an instant before sharp claws raked through the flesh of your back. You felt the warmth of your own blood gushing down your back, then the pain. That’s the last thing you remember about that night.

You don't remember Steve coming back, saving you with the spiked bat, Jonathan setting the thing on fire, or when all three of them hauled your limp body into the back of Steve’s car.  

You wouldn’t be there for the reunion with Will or for the celebration of his return. You would miss Christmas and New Years. You wouldn't regain consciousness until the second week of January, 1984. Sometimes you would get flashes, little pieces of that time. Nancy’s voice, someone squeezing your hand, the beeping of monitors. But mostly it was your mom crying. 

When you woke up you were alone. It felt like your mouth was made of sandpaper and when you opened it to speak, nothing came out. It took you a moment to realise you were in a hospital and when you moved to sit up, pain shot down your spine. Every bone in your body was aching and each movement sent new waves of pain along your back. Before you had another second to think, you heard a gasp from the doorway. Your mother dropped the coffee she had been carrying in her rush to your side. Her eyes were filled with fresh tears and she was rambling a million miles a minute. Asking you questions, looking you over, making sure you were actually awake. You were happy to see her but little did you know that this would be the norm for the coming months. 

You were never alone. There were always nurses, or doctors, or men in suits. Everyone had questions. How were you feeling? Where was the pain? What do you remember? After a week it got old and after a month it was downright maddening. 

As far as anyone knew, you had fallen victim to a bear attack. It would have been simple, if it was only the flayed flesh of your flanks that needed to heal. Unfortunately, the infection that set in made things complicated. The government sent specialists to look after you and keep things under wraps. They kept you in a facility, only allowing certain people to care for you.

The fevers were hard to shake, they were treating you with so many different drugs you lost track. When your fever broke, you always started to feel better, but somehow it always came back. 

They concluded that it was most likely some type of virus that had been transmitted to you via the creature's claws. There was only so much they could do. As the weeks went on, the time between flare ups grew longer. When you were finally well enough to have visitors, all interactions were closely monitored. 

Your most frequent visitors were your mom, Hopper, Nancy and Steve. Jonathan stopped by sometimes, but not often.

When school started again you were still unable to sit up on your own. Nancy and Steve undertook the task of keeping you up to date on your school work. With not much else to focus on, besides your pain, you had a lot of time to study. Your grades weren’t half bad, all things considered. 

When you weren't doing catchup work for school or visiting or being poked and prodded by doctors, you wrote. It had always been a passion of yours and more recently it had become a means of escape. Being trapped in that sterilised linoleum prison was driving you mad. So when you felt the walls closing in around you, the only way out was with a pen and paper.

Before everything, you would write about fantasy worlds and romantic adventures. Stories where the heroes triumphed and love conquered all. But now, you couldn’t seem to conjure up those scenarios. The tales that came to life on your page now were darker. There were no good guys or love stories, there were only tales of fear and those things that haunt us when we are alone at night. Stories about the horrors hiding in the shadows all around us.  

No one read these stories but you.

After 6 months of treatments, recovery, and rehab, you were finally discharged. Going home somehow made you feel even stranger. Things were the same but somehow profoundly different. Your mom had taken a couple shifts off work to look after you when you got home. You were thankful for her but there was no hiding the amount of stress she had been under while you were in the hospital. She had always had circles under her eyes but in the past few months they seemed to grow darker. 

You tried to go back to the way things were. You hung out with Steve and Nancy, listened to them talk about their lives and plans for the future. You were happy for them, it seemed like they had really grown. But for some reason, it left a sour taste in your mouth. You felt like all they wanted to talk about was the future but all you could think about was the past. You eventually stopped going with them, always giving excuses about headaches. And eventually, they stopped asking. 

You found yourself alone a lot. Not that you minded. After having 8 months of constant supervision, you could use some alone time. The walls in your home started to remind you too much of being stuck in the hospital. So, you liked to be outside. You would go for long walks almost every day. It felt good to be outside. Freeing. 

You would leave your house early in the morning, after your mom got back from her shift. You would take a small bag, packed with a water bottle, a book, and your journal. You would pick a new direction every day, always finding new places you haven't walked yet. When you got tired you would find a quiet place to sit and read or write or just think. 

You thought about Barb often. You tried to think about all the good times you had together. How she always managed to explain things so you could understand. All the sleepovers the two of you had. She was so smart and kind. You missed being able to call her just to talk. You avoided thinking about how her last moments must have felt. How alone and scared she must have been. Each time your thoughts turned to it you could feel yourself recoil. It felt like touching a hot stove. 

Sometimes you couldn't help it. You would think about that last conversation you had with her. How you had been so selfish and dismissive of her. Then you would cry as you walked. 

That's the way things went for a while. Then, one day in the middle of July things changed. You would never forget the first time you met Billy Hargrove. 

A/N: Hope you guys like it so far! This was just a little background before the actual story starts. Let me know what you guys think!