not technically a horseman

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Let's hold up traffic with mama!

when i was in middle school i probably thought that fandom becoming more mainstream would help me feel less shame but instead it’s like having constant 4D secondhand humiliation beamed directly into my skull

hey, tag this with a food people get really upset about you not liking

on a scale of nothingburger to everything bagel

God I miss the days when you could show up to the MLH draft and they’d say “what’s your name boy?” and you’d take off your hat and hold it to your chest and reply “Why I ain’t got none, sir, on account of how my mama was too busy making brand deals to give me one” and they’d say they’re thrilled you’re asian-canadian and ask what they can do you for and you’d tell them that you can’t read nor even write neither but you’re mighty good at hockey and can win them some MLH cups and won’t ask for nothing much more than a salary and a nice rink to practice in and the league would draft you second but send their first-round draft pick who barely speaks english down to the hotel gym at night and the two of you’d get to competitively workin out and he’d hand you his water bottle to take a swig from and watch you drinkin from it while he leant against the weight rack and when he finally took it back he’d take a sip from it too real slow-like like it weren’t the water what he were tryna savour

whatever enmeshment yuna and shane have would be blown out of the water by ilya and irina if irina was still alive

had a friend who used to make new ones up on the spot. The only one that stuck with me was 'good golly jelly beans'. If something catastrophic happens I go for 'that's not ideal.'

Literally amazing that there’s a predator that goes “mrrp” and you’re allowed to have one in your house