SAOR ALBA

Lesbian fujoshi is a position not unlike a cultural attaché and should be considered a protected class

thank you for coming to my this #mythis

sorry for the delay in responding to your message. I was walking around the house with unclear intentions

t-shirt that says "LOW SUICIDE RISK"

the year is 2035. the new beauty standard is for women to cut their ears off, as ears are a masculine trait which make the face look too big and hearing isnt necessary as it doesnt align with being demure. evil feminists say perhaps this is unnecessary and ears are natural. women are agressively proclaiming they are cutting their ears off due to sensory issues

ahaha you sly dog! you bastard! [getting a little too comfortable] you wretched fucking animal

I want tiramisu and to be able to start a brand new life

they send me to space war even though i’m so freaking small i’m literally just a grunt. they only gave me a pasma pistol. i’m gonna fucking die

Computer loves to be like "fuck! You sure you want to shut down? Youve got volume mixer open"

fonts will be named shit like viscera antique, 16 bit dreams, doctor's orders, bingo condensed, googly, wish you were here

please dont vape your blueberry ice flavor around my kid. we are raising him on marlboro reds exclusively.

sleep is not normal to want and impossible to achieve

White boy ALARMS Chinese restaurant staff by bursting into PERFECT Tears instead of ordering

honestly fandom has ruined me because now any time i'm in the desert and i see two vast and trunkless legs of stone or a half-sunk shattered visage i'm like "omg just like in Ozymandias" and its like come on girl not every half-sunk shattered visage is Ozymandias