Mike Wheeler & Will Byers | Stranger Things 5.01-5.04
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Mike Wheeler & Will Byers | Stranger Things 5.01-5.04

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as a lesbian who watched 4 seasons of bridgerton, with straight couples as main characters, and still enjoyed it/rooted for them/found them cute, i don’t understand how straight women can’t survive ONE single season about a lesbian couple.
I am actually so sick and tired of straight women complaining about WLW media and in the same breath overly sexualising MLM media. You aren’t an ally. You’re a fetishizer.
I love tumblr because somehow I can end up being mutuals with a celebrity (someone that wrote a fic that I loved)
okay put some respect on the name of my good friend Shane Hollander, because this man is the the creator of the iconic chirps “just a bunch of Finnish guys talking about the cousins they're in love with” and “Jeez Hayden, you wanna get me pregnant too?”
like WHAT is this ‘Shane can’t chirp’ propaganda or this ‘Shane can’t tell when people are being sarcastic’ insanity or this ‘Shane needs Ilya or Yuna to do social interactions for him’ silliness

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shirt that says "i love redundancy!" on the front and on the back it says "i love redundancy!"
And on the front, it says "i love redundancy!"
Shane is learning Russian and he has a textbook full of different exercises. He needs a partner to practice the speaking exercises, so of course he asks Ilya to be his speaking partner when he does them. And while the exercises are just basic back and forths, learning to ask and answer questions, this has the potential to go off the rails quickly.
Shane gets to the unit about relationships (family, professional, romantic) and Shane and Ilya ask each other whether they have friends, siblings, roommates, etc. And the way Shane says "Да, у меня есть муж" (yes, I have a husband) makes Ilya lose it a little bit. It just turns into foreplay because Shane's accent is so bad, but he's actually very good at memorizing the correct grammatical structures and vocabulary that it's so fucking hot cute.
God help Ilya when they're no longer practicing speaking exercises and are speaking for real in public, and he has to suppress the urge to pin Shane down right then and there.
me switching between lmao, lol, haha, and keysmashing to keep my laughter fresh and fun
the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be apart of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.
listen, the sheer fucking balls to the wall bravery shane puts out by saying “you feel it too, don’t you?” is actually insane because he phrases it like a question but it’s basically a statement. he knows ilya feels it too. this is just to give him a little grace.
i love it. that's my shane!!!!! full throttle once he’s locked in!! ilya out there in that hotel room fighting for his life while shane is like. no. you got nothing on me. this is not a competition because i won before we even started. you are my target and i am locked on. don’t even try to run away.

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Me this weekend
no but ilya (FRESH into his career!! still a baby professional player!!) arranging an ad campaign just to create a situation to spend time with shane one on one was fucking WILD
extremely funny scenario in which rose joins shane as his plus one and moral support for going after the guy he wants at all stars because she can be his buddy and also his cover for making up for lost time with ilya
which is complicated by the fact that ilya takes one look at rose and shane at the bar (rose's arm looped through shane's in what ilya doesn't know is just a friends move) and BOOKS IT so he doesn't have to see this
and then proceeds to avoid them at EVERY fucking turn
this all terminates into rose going "fuck it I'm a true bro and I'm making this happen so help me GOD" and managing to arrange locking them in a closet together (which is. so funny. but this is not the time to point out the punchline.) (she'll save it.) so ilya can't run away.
and it's very sweet and they have their moment of honesty and yay back to ilya's room now fo-
the-the door is locked.
because it turns out that rose got a LITTLE too enthusiastic in locking it after her plan worked PERFECTLY and now something in the mechanism is broken.
so in one sense, shane did come out of the closet, but in another sense that's going to be funny only probably a few months from now, he AND ilya are now stuck in the closet in a way that is both metaphorical and also. painfully literal.
This scenario is also raising mental images of Rose from Minnesota "I have brothers" Landry being so determined to pin Ilya down to make him talk with Shane that all glamourous movie star persona drops away and she just fucking tackles him, and Ilya has no idea how to react to this attack so she actually succeeds in wrestling him to the ground
Shane's looking slightly scared by all this in the background, Ilya's saying "Shane! Your girlfriend attacked me!" And she's going "I'm NOT his girlfriend, now you two are going to TALK to each other, or so help me god" and drags them both to the closet
the idea of petite movie star rose landry tapping into her roots and turning into a linebacker to take down giant professional athlete ilya rozanov is SO goddamn funny
because also ilya would NOT know how to fucking react
like he wrestles with svetlana for fun but this is?? NOT FUN?? IS THIS?? AN ATTACK?? WHAT THE F U C K IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?? HE CAN'T ACTUALLY HIT HER BUT HE IS BEING FUCKING?? PINNED DOWN?? OH MY GOD???? DID HOLLANDER TELL HER ABOUT THEIR PAST TOGETHER????? IS THIS JEALOUSY?? THAT'S EXCITING BUT ALSO GET?? OFF??? WHAT THE FUCK???
shane having multiple allergies but being able to eat things like dairy, potatoes, wheat, cabbage, carrots, fish, and beets just fine does make me laugh imagine ilya making SO many jokes about how shane was MEANT to marry a russian because so much russian food is safe for him
"who else would know how to cook you these things, hm?"
dryly: "literally anyone with internet access?"
"just me, correct 😌"
shane

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Happy Birthday, Ilya!
gay men can have their fav female characters and everyone is like whatever but if a lesbian likes a single male character u guys r like ARE U EVEN A LESBIAN LOL LIKE ARE U EVEN ACTUALLY A LESBIAN U SECRETLY LIKE MEN DONT U COUGH IT UP YOU LIKE MENNNNNN YOU WANNA GET FUCKED BY A MANNNNNNNN