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Just a little portrait sketch in between courses, I said to myself. Nothing fancy, nothing time-consuming. Just a cute little greyscale sketch, maybe a little colour study, it shouldn’t take more than two days, just something relaxing, a little treat for myself, ... 🙈🙈🙈
We hope you're ready to sweat it out, because this month's prompts are designed to get you into action. Grab a word, make sure to stretch first, flex those writing muscles, and write! Don't forget to Keep it Mini!
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Our server is home to a lot of talented writers, and quite a few of them were very busy this month! If you'd like to check out some of the amazing fics that they self-recced take a peek below, and if you'd like to see everything that's been recced on our server you can find our bookmarks here.
Please go give these authors some love in the form of a kudos or comment!
Under the rolling hills [T] @brandileigh2003
On Behalf Of Brittle Ink [M] by @equalmindz
Entre chien et loup [M] by midnighttomoscow
I Still Do [M] by midnighttomoscow
We might as well be lovers on the sun [M] by Nara_Riya
The Road to Thistle Creek [E] by @just--vi
come all the way undone. [E] by @heysaykitkat
CLASH [E] by @midnighttomoscow
Morning Evening [E] by @always-pining
Code Black (Wolfstar's Version) [E] by @ixiedust-writes
Competing Interests [E] by @belljarbrews
Canticle [E] by Bell_Jar_Brews
Codename: Wolfstar [E] by @sliebman10
The Runaway and the Wolf [E] by Leiria
Snapshots of us [E] by brandileigh2003
Blood and Sun [E] by Leiria
Valentimes (it’s Valentine’s) [G | 3,930] by Written_Willis
Honeymoon at the Puppy Inn [T | 3,112] by @igetje
The Stress of Sirius Black [T | 7,725] by leijic
Anything I Want [T | 4,684] by @astralsunshine
Frayed Pink Threads [M | 2,655] by Written_Willis
Pathetic in the Best Way (James/Remus/Sirius) [E | 6,425] by @theblueblues-ao3
Neighborly Conduct [E | 7,750] by leijic
Hunger [E | 4,917] by TempusFugit
Mean Wizards [T | 70,528] by barkatthemoon
Deleted Scenes [M | 18,786] by sliebman10
your baby is the size of a... [E | 67,863] by @barkingatthemooninsteadofwriting
tides [E | 15,858] by @sorealis
Now I have you with me under my thoughts [E | 78,105] by Nara_Riya
Shadow Play (Cedric/Harry) [M] by @limew1re
Barty's Collection (Barty/Evan) [Not Rated] by ShesGotStuff2Do
you're poison (i want it too much) (Barty/Sirius, Remus/Sirius) [E] by @superficialextent
they keep things interesting (Lily/Remus) [M | 2,420] by @colourful00desert
queer here musketeer (James/Regulus) [M | 62,703] by colourful_desert
Peachy Perfect (James/Regulus) [E | 9,315] by @slytheerin
( @hollanovscuckchair, I credit you for this little scene that popped into my head this morning.)
“How many more?” Ilya asked breathlessly, as he finished his set. Shane knew. He knew Shane knew; he hadn’t kept his own rep count since Shane moved in with him.
“That was the last one,” Shane said, helping him ease the weights back onto the rack. He was technically spotting Ilya, but he was really taking the opportunity to ogle his husband in his tight shorts and tank. Ilya looked so good; his skin sunkissed, his sweaty curls wild, the muscles in his arms flexed.
“Good,” Ilya said, getting up from the bench. “Your turn.” He wiped down the bench and Shane took his spot. Ilya could see a few different men watching them. Some covertly, some not so covertly. He knew they were in a place where they weren’t as well known. That was the benefit of vacations, sometimes. Shane never caught the stares, never picked up on the desire aimed at him. It only made Shane hotter, in his opinion, that the only eyes on him that he cared about were Ilya’s.
Shane fiddled with the machine, kicking up the weight with an arched eyebrow at Ilya. “Always trying to beat me, Hollander,” he murmured. “You’ll pay for it later.”
“Oh?” Shane replied, with a smirk. “We’ll see about that.” Ilya could feel even more stares aimed their way, but he ignored them, only focusing on Shane. Shane, who was drenched in sweat so the outline of his pecs showed through his t-shirt. The t-shirt that he refused to take off because he didn’t like his skin sticking to the bench. Those tiny shorts that barely contained him.
He completed his perfectly executed reps. As Ilya was helping him put the weights back, he whispered in Shane’s ear, “Let’s get out of here.”
Shane nodded and they left the gym together to head upstairs to their hotel room. As soon as the door closed, Shane found himself pressed against the wall. Ilya was kissing him fiercely, insistently, filthily. Shane kissed back with equal enthusiasm, his fingers pulling at Ilya’s damp curls. He felt Ilya’s hands slide down until they were below his ass. He knew what Ilya was doing; he instinctively jumped a little so he was pinned between Ilya’s body and the wall. He wrapped his legs around his husband’s middle, drawing a deep groan from Ilya’s chest. “All those other men were looking at you down there,” Ilya murmured between kisses. “But you’re mine.” He punctuated mine with a nip to Shane’s bottom lip.
Shane moaned a little. “Yes, yours. Only yours,” he gasped. Ilya moved away from the wall, carrying Shane to their ridiculously large bed in the middle of their hotel room.
The windows were open, letting in the ocean breeze. Ilya did not care. If anyone was listening, they’d hear their moans of pleasure but it didn’t matter. What mattered was the man beneath him, his liquid brown eyes wide and hazy with lust, in those tiny gym shorts that drove Ilya crazy. “When is our dinner reservation?” he asked, sucking a bruise into Shane’s neck.
“Fuck it,” Shane managed, hooking his ankle around Ilya’s, pushing him closer.
“I think you will be upset if we miss dinner,” Ilya said with a crooked smile. He moved his thigh between Shane’s, giving him some of the pressure he was seeking.
“You want to have a conversation right now?” Shane bit out.
“My needy slut,” Ilya said, his eyes going soft. “You will be upset if we do not keep our reservation.” Shane huffed with impatience, claiming his lips again. They both promptly forgot about dinner.
I love the idea of post-prank Sirius being assigned to help Hagrid in detention for the rest of the year and discovering he's good at comforting scared and injured creatures. Imagine him realizing his hands are capable of gentleness and love after spending his whole life convinced they were only meant to break things.
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So I just finished rereading Role Model and I have some thoughts.
Shane would definitely have a hard time connecting with Troy at the beginning but then Ilya says something about Shane's food habits when they are ordering food for the team and Troy not only gets offended, but comes to Shane's defense full tilt. "ILYA!!! What the fuck!!Why are you making fun of your man's order. Salmon and brown rice is delicious!!! That's my favorite meal!!!" Then Shane and Troy spend the lunch discussing the benefits of their performance diets and comparing notes on food prepping for optimal fuel value per caloric intake.
Ilya stands by Harris, stunded by Troy's betrayal and wondering if he should be jealous. But he quickly forgets about it when Harris says, "Those two can't possibly have functioning taste buds. Who doesn't like cookies and cream ice cream?" As he hands Ilya a loaded bowl of ice cream.
Then they become couple besties because:
Exhibit A: Harris and Ilya
Loud as fuck, in everyone's business, love yummy food, music and being with friends, and super proud of their queerness.
Exhibit B: Shane and Troy
Obsessed about being at peak performance, not really aware of how hot they are, trauma bonded over stupid shit they've done because of fear of being outted and most importantly, quiet bitches that can tear anyone up in a heart beat.
Exhibit C: Harris and Shane
Media training (They each could have a TedTalk or a podcast), Ottawa because "what do you mean they closed the place that made the good smoothies?" and family because these boys love their families.
Exhibit D: Ilya and Troy
Daddy issue trauma bonded mama's boys that love ragebaiting, hockey and their men.
if you ever doubt that your ao3 comments matter or mean something: i have been struggling with my writing for 6 months straight, crying myself to sleep afraid that i will never be able to write again, that the thing i love most in the world has left me, that my writing is just gone
this morning i got this comment:
and after i stopped blubbering over it, i picked up my writing notebook, and re-read all my fic research, and opened up my document again for the first time in weeks without being afraid of it
you have no idea how much writers treasure every single comment we get. you have no idea how big an impact you can have. sometimes, just sometimes, your one "insignificant" comment changes everything
As a child Ilya did’t talk much. He was a very quiet kid. He observed the world with his sharp blue eyes, noticing things that others normally overlooked. But he stayed quiet.
Shane on the other hand talked a mile a minute. He was always babbling and bubbling about one thing or another. He was a yapper.
As they got older, Ilya realised that it’s simpler to hide in the spot light and that it’s easier to get away with things when he’s loud. It’s whole another kind of invisibility, hiding in plain sight, everyone sees him, believes they know him, but they only know the parts he allows them to see.
Shane became quiet. He figured out that people didn’t want to listen. He understood people find him more likabke when he’s quiet. So he keeps his thoughts to himself, doesn’t talk, doesn’t make people uncomfortable by having too much information to share and not knowing when to shut up.
Fast forward to the cottage. They’re sitting on the couch, Shane’s legs in Ilya’s lap as he waves in arms around, talking excitedly about something. And Ilya, Ilya just listens. He doesn’t interrupt him, doesn’t tell him to stop talking. He enjoys not having to be the one talking for once, actually. There’s a small smile dancing across his lips as he listens to his boyfriend (boyfriend!!!) yap about beavers, their importance for the ecosystem and how they became the national animal of Canada.
It's that time again where I shout at you about all the amazing fics I've read this month. This month, I read 41 fics by 34 authors, amounting to 411k words :)
To the authors on the list: thank you again for sharing your lovely work with us!! ♥️ If you read any of these fics, please make sure to leave kudos and a comment. It means a lot to authors! ♥️
If you spot any mistakes, or if I commented on a fic of yours this month and forgot to include it here, please let me know. I didn't leave it out intentionally, I'm just unorganised and this was a lot of work to pull together ♥️!
All fics are Wolfstar🌟 unless otherwise specified as such. Ordered alphabetically by author's name and in categories: 1. WIPs (that I've read/have updated this month); 2. One-Shots; 3. Chaptered Fics (complete); 4. Series; 5. What I've worked on this month.
You're the One (I Want to Go Through Time With) by @always-pining (11K/M/3 chapters)
Five times Sirius and Remus get married, and one time they don't. The first chapter is so funny and sweet, I'm excited to see where this goes!
Under the rolling hills by @brandileigh2003 (2K/T/1 chapter)
Sirius has moved to the countryside and a mysterious sheep starts visiting his farm. So super cute so far, can't wait to see where it goes!
Snapshots of us by @brandileigh2003 (5K/E/7 chapters)
A collection of lovely oneshots!
come all the way undone. by @heysaykitkat (66K/E/14 chapters)
This is a sequel to my life is set around you now. and like that fic, it's incredibly hot and incredibly sweet and I can't get enough of it!
Seasons of Love by @astralsunshine (1,5K/E)
Beautiful oneshot showing key moments in Remus' life alongside a gift his mum gave him when he was very little. There's so much beauty and wonderfully written sadness in these 1,5K words!!
Twenty Eight Days by @aquamyosotis (34K/T)
Beautifully atmospheric slow-burn getting together fic where Sirius inherits a mansion and hires Remus to restore/catalogue its library.
Fortune Favors the Bold by DoubleOhGadget (3,5K/E)
Remus drinks liquid courage and it leads to smut :) lucky us!!!
Yorkshire 1995 by eggstatics (10K/M)
A beautiful Lie Low at Lupin's fic with gorgeous artwork
Remus Lupin is the number one James Potter cosplayer by fishflipperfan (8K/T)
James asks Remus to go on a blind date and reject the guy for him, but once he meets him, Remus really can't.
Red Lion, Gold Lion by @luxalupinlvr (2K/T/Albus & Nicholas Flamel)
Nicholas Flamel meets a young alchemy prodigy on a visit to Hogwarts - so good.
You Can't Always Get What You Want by midnightmarauder (1,5K/E)
Remus and Sirius accidentally summon all the lube in Hogwarts to the Quidditch field - super funny
Pickles and Pineapples by Mikibou (0,6K/T)
A super-cute Hope pov about her finding out Remus and Sirius are together.
And They Were Roommates by Neilikka (5K/T)
Frustrated by his crush over his flatmate, Remus writes a bunch of flatmates-getting-together fanfic. His biggest fan/commenter is someone named Padfoot. I eat this trope up!
Padfoot & I by occasionallythriving (4,5K/M)
A very funny movie AU set in the magical world - Sirius and Remus get sick of stuffy London and take an impromptu trip to the countryside
When I look and I find I still love you by @poetrypirate (6K/T)
Beautiful fic where Remus visits an art gallery that awakens long-forgotten memories.
40,000-Year-Old Love Song by @puuvillaa (4,5K/M)
What if Remus was a neanderthal in need that got adopted by Sirius? And what if it was also a really sweet love story? I ate it up!
Chocolate Cake by realityshowjunkie (6K/M)
Frat boy AU that's really funny and somehow also really sweet. Sirius sleeps around but when he finds out Remus is on a date, he's not happy with it.
Presto Bang-o by @r33sespieces (4K/T)
Remus is a muggle magician hired to perform at a corporate event Sirius is attending. Really funny!
First time he fucked a boy by shamelessllamapeanutthing (4K/E)
I'll be honest. Does as the title says. Does so in a way that is very hot.
Let's have a party by @shunstanpike (2K/E)
During the first wizarding war, Remus and Sirius share a really sweet, cheeky and hot domestic moment.
Black Tartan by @sliebman10 (3K/E)
Sirius wears a kilt to a family function, it pisses of his mum and he looks amazing. Cute and hot!
The List; or, The Five Times Remus Lupin did not Exhibit Trademarks of Homosexuality (and the One Time He Did) by @smodernlife (4,5K/M)
Sirius tries to figure out if Remus is gay, using a list of ways to tell he's found in an old pureblood guide. Incredibly funny and also really cute.
playing on, insane by @steelycunt (5,5K/T)
Lie Low at Lupin's - a careful look at reconnection <3
differently underwater, differently now by @steelycunt (6K/G)
A beautiful and devastating take on a post-prank conversation between Remus and Sirius from Sirius' pov
angel, islington by @steelycunt (3K/G)
Some lovely pining set over the summer between fourth and fifth year at Hogwarts. There's a letter from Remus in here that I, like Sirius, read three times.
The Man in the Moon by Thamiris (1,5K/E)
Some very hot smut <3
A Most Ridiculous Pack by @theblueblues-ao3 (1,5K/G)
What if, instead of Padfoot, Prongs and Wormtail, the boys turned into a mismatched set of birds, instead? Chaotic, sweet and really funny.
Blackberry Crumble, Made at Home by @theblueblues-ao3 (0,6K/G)
Part recipe, part poem, all sweet!
Ardour by theoriginalsinner888 (3K/E)
Super hot post-full moon smut.
Honey Sweet by vajazzly (7,5K/E)
Sirius meets and gets obsessed with a farmer/beekeeper on his trip to the countryside, and, likewise. I too am obsessed with beekeeper Remus.
The highest pub by WrappedUp (8,5K/M)
On a trip to Yorkshire, Sirius, James and Lily get snowed in in a pub with an extremely appealing barkeeper.
your baby is the size of a... by @barkingatthemooninsteadofwriting (68K/E/15 chapters)
This was completed this month and so so cute. I was so fun to follow along on this journey with them!! <3 (Remus is pregnant, Sirius is overprotective, and it's completely and totally adorable and addictive)
The Consequences of Legilimency by HowlingHowler (8,5K/E/4 chapters)
The consequences of legilimency is Sirius learns to read Remus' mind and realises how horny he is for him. Love it! Really hot.
Darklands by Newsom (107,5K/E/16 chapters)
During the lost years, Remus received letters that Sirius had never sent to him, that make him doubt if he really was the spy. When I say I binged this. Instant sky-rocket to the top of my favourite fics ever list.
Wolfstar Book Club by Pakhi (17,5K/E/6 chapters)
Mysterious Wolfstar smut starts popping up all over Hogwarts as someone's writing fanfiction about the boys. Really hot, and fun as we get to watch various characters read it and guess who the mystery author is!
for your pleasure by @steelycunt (15,5K/G/3 chapters)
Sirius is a hilariously annoying drunk in this as he decides he should be Remus' first kiss, and Remus is rightfully upset.
Toujours a Twat! by @thatdesklamp (65,5K/E/8 chapters)
A really funny strangers to friends to lovers get-together set at university. Laughed out loud repeatedly but it's also somehow very sweet and genuine, and very hot at the end.
Oh (All this time) by @toadby (19K/T/9 chapters)
A really lovely Hogwarts fic - Remus gets sorted into Hufflepuff AU. Nevertheless, both he and Sirius are fascinated with each other all along.
dog man star by veryowntourdiary (8K/E/5 chapters)
A sweet, bittersweet and smutty Lie Low at Lupin fic, love <3
Paper Clip Crack by @emperorem (10,5K/E/2 works)
Really funny and really sweet - it does what the title says but I don't accidentally want to spoil any more! :)
Honeymoon at the Puppy Inn (3K/T)
A honeymoon return fic/b-side to Lie Low at Posada de Cachorritos (with Lupin). Featuring more sun, more sunscreen, more tropical birds, beaches, fruit, coffee, and above all, a whole lot of fluff.
In Five Years' Time (WIP/E/138K/29 chapters)
A friends to lovers story set during Hogwarts sixth year, against the backdrop of the growing war, but also lots of banter :) .
hi baby. I have this little prompt for you: Shane giving Ilya a massage. Do what you will with it. Loveya
hi my baby. okay. i can work with this easy.
so, it's the middle of shane and ilya's first year on the cens. over the summer ilya started taking antidepressants and its been a lot of trial and error re finding the right dose, the right drug, which side effects are tolerable and which ones are absolutely not acceptable. ilya's most recent trial of SSRIs was a combination of pervasive apathy and a complete and utter inability to get a hard on. even with shane beautiful and eager and wide eyed between his legs. soft cock on his tongue. not growing hard no matter how much ilya concentrated or how much he really liked to see shane on his knees. the apathy part is the main priority of his psychiatrist and galina and shane too -- shane is worried about his husband's lack of interest in running around with anya, the absence of his gentle bullying of the rookies and the almost vacant look in his eyes after a win, the lack of a witty retort when shane chirps him about something -- but to ilya the sex drive thing is his biggest concern. he knows his husband loves him for more than his body -- intellectually. like it's a fact but it's just not a fact that's clicking with him right now. his brain is murky and heavy. it is also a fact that sex is a big part of his relationship with his husband and he is worried about losing shane. he doesn't tell shane this, of course, not at first. at first he is explaining it to galina -- that the combination of feeling nothing when he's on the ice beside his husband scoring off a power-play and then nothing when he's in bed with his husband pressing down on top of him is making him want to quit SSRIs alltogether, infact he almost just quit cold turkey but the psych had been very firm about not doing that and ilya didn't want to jeoporadise the season over his stupid fucking brain -- and then upon her advice he discloses this to his psychiatrist. and he's moved onto a new drug slowly the following week.
it takes a fortnight for the new drug to entirely replace the old drug. a little bit of the fog has cleared. he actually laughs properly, genuinely, when holmberg falls asleep on the bus and the guys decide it'll be fun to douse him in shaving cream as he naps -- because the kid naps like the dead. when they win the next game and he scores off of an assist from his -- gorgeous, patient, perfect -- husband ilya smiles and feels it in his chest. something warm and happy glowing there. there's side effects with this drug too. like sweating. he's sweating more than he's ever sweat in his entire life. but he can feel things. and that kinda matters more than the sweating.
as the drug starts working ilya is adjusting the dose higher with his psych and feeling more and more like himself... almost. he still has shit days but his brain is functioning and he's present in the room and he loves playing with anya and bullying the rooks and sharing the ice with his husband and... there's just the issue of the sex... it's been a while. he's been too humiliated to try again. worried he'll get his husband's hopes up and go soft before things get started or just continue to be entirely unable to get it up in the first place. his desire to have sex is back though -- in bursts. he can feel heat prickle under his skin and want thrum through his fingers whenever he sees shane getting out of the shower -- shoulders damp and long hair sticking to his neck, cheeks flushed from the shower steam -- or whenever shane sits close to him, pressing their thighs together in front of the guys, subtle and lingering just for them but still exhilirating because he fucking didn't think he'd get this. but humiliation is never something he's felt in sex before, he's never been self-concious about his body in the bedroom. his dick has been failing him and so he hasn't tried it with shane since the new SSRIs started working.
so it's been a month and a half. six weeks of no sex.
he knows his playing is suffering for it. he knows shane's is too. he also knows his husband is giving him space and being patient and tolerant and not complaining because he doesn't want to bring up last time. (last time when ilya had sat for half an hour with his soft cock pressed to shane's tongue, his eyes screwed shut as he tried to make anything happen before pulling away harshly when shane, gentle and trying to be kind, had said "it's okay. maybe tonight's just not the night." and ilya had felt hot with embarrassment even as he'd manhandled his husband onto his stomach and fucked him on their favourite dildo. shane had cum. pretty and melty and gorgeous with his face pressed into the mattress. and ilya's dick had stayed soft against his thigh. when shane had caught sight of ilya's flaccid cock a look unreadable to even ilya had crossed his face. and that never happened. ilya could always read shane. and since then shane hadn't even tried to fuck him. barely gave him more than a tender, whispering kiss. instead, every night, they snuggled. which was nice. sure. it was nice. but ilya wanted to sink his teeth into his husband's shoulder and thread their fingers together and fuck into him all bruising and sharp and deep. wanted to kiss him until it ached in both their jaws and swallow each of shane's wonderful, breathy gasps. wanted to be close close close. because he fucking loves his husband. loves him so much. and that's how he knows best to show him. there are other ways too ofc but they'd always been best at communicating with their bodies. this SSRI bullshit felt like a particularly cruel joke upon his marriage and ilya was sick of it.)
they've been away for about ten days. on the road travelling the geography that makes up the Atlantic division. usually when they get home the first thing they do is pick up anya from the dog hotel and their meal service delivery from yuna and david's. this time shane has asked david to pick up anya and watch her for another couple days and gotten take-out delivered to the house so that when they're pulling up the food is there waiting for them. ilya is confused by the turn of events, by the break in their routine -- as routines are precious to his husband -- but he delights in the rare treat of thai take-out and sitting on the kitchen bench with shane stood between his legs, letting ilya feed him mouthfuls of laab gai and steamed brown rice. he kisses ilya between mouthfuls of food, brushing their noses together, fingers curled over the tops of ilya's thighs, scratching at the material of his sweats. ilya makes shane feed him pad see ew and shane even willingly eats desert. the little kanom krok pancakes that taste like coconut -- shane isn't the biggest fan of coconut but he tries a couple at ilya's insistence and ilya smiles big and dopey at his husband as shane screws his nose and declares "nope, still don't like coconut". when they kiss, shane tastes like sweet coconut and diet ginger ale. and ilya hums into it, mouth parting, tongue pressing past the seam of shane's lips. licking over his husband's tongue, the roof of his mouth, his teeth. his fingers find shane's hair and he's tugging him close and kiss kiss kissing him. something is turning in his belly, pulling down, and he shuffles a little at the sensation. gone for so long but not forgotten. but then shane is pulling back and pressing his big palms to the sides of ilya's face and stroking his thumbs tenderly beneath ilya's eyes and murmuring "i missed you" and ilya aches a little because he'd missed his husband too. even though they'd been together every day for months. they hadn't been easy and quiet like this -- the tension of ilya's struggle with his drugs and the pressure from the fans and media about their relationship always kinda there between them even as they dealt with both challenges together. the best they could. as a team.
shane is detangling their limbs then. stepping away from between the bracket of ilya's thighs and ilya is whining, pouting, frowning. he was so close to feeling something and he misses his husband so much that even if he can't get it up he really really really just wants to kiss him some more. but shane is tugging on his hand and dragging him upstairs and pushing him down onto his back on the mattress and telling him to just "relax, i will be back in a minute" and ilya is humming, spreading himself out on the comforter and wriggling out of his clothes -- again, because even if he can't get it up he wants to feel shane's skin against his own -- and waiting for shane who is puttering about in the bathroom with his hands clasped behind his head, trying to flex maybe just a little. shane comes back in with his t-shirt removed but his sweats still hanging low on his hips and a little bottle in his hands -- not lube, to ilya's dismay, but an unfamiliar green glass bottle with a little squirty top -- and a towel slung over his shoulder. shane is grinning when he sees ilya and says "well, i guess i don't have to ask you to undress" and ilya is waggling his brows as shane rolls his eyes and lays out the towel over the sheets -- it's one of the big ones, fluffy and wide and big enough for ilya to splay out over. which he does. shane nudges his over until he is on his stomach on the towel with his head pillowed on his arms. and ilya isn't asking what's happening. he's just intrigued. and then shane is sitting on top of him, on the backs of his thighs still with his sweats on, and then his big hands are pressing into ilya's lats, warm and calloused and drenched in sweetly smelling oil.
ilya shivers but as quickly as he is startling he is immediately settling into the feeling. the feeling of shane's fingers digging into the tense muscles in his neck, finding knots there and working them out, untangling the gripping parts of ilya that he'd been carrying around more and more lately. the heels of shane's big palms pressing into the mounds of his shoulderblades, digging in, releasing the tension caught between the his spine and ribcage. then shane's hands are going lower. kneading into the curve of his lower back, thumbs massaging into the aching muscles in his thighs, of his ass. shane is shuffling down, kneeling over ilya, carefully loosening the pains aching in ilya's legs. regular hockey pains. the season wearing on him maybe a little more than last year and the year before. shane is touching him everywhere. from his shoulders to his palms to the back of his neck and his scalp then down his back and ass and thighs to his calves. every inch of ilya slippery with delicately scented oil and burning with the pressure of shane's touch.
and he's hard. pressed between his stomach and the mattress, involuntarily rolling his hips when shane presses a thumb into the arch of his foot. digging his finger into something painful and erotic and pleasurable and overwhelming. ilya breaths through the sensation and releases an unmistakable moan, muffled where his face is pressed into the towel but heard all the same. he hears shane huff a little laugh behind him and then he's being gently guided to roll over. he goes easily because he feels like liquid and shane's hands are so warm. his husband smiles at him tenderly but then his gaze catches, his breath stalls, tongue darting out to wet his lip when he notices ilya is hard and pink and twitching. a sound escapes shane's throat -- low and needy -- and he is dropping down to push his face between ilya's pecs.
ilya is surprised his husband didn't go right for his cock but then shane is mumbling "i wasn't trying to make you hard" and ilya is swallowing, frowning, carding his fingers through shane's hair, tucking it behind his ears then gathering it in a fist and pulling, dragging shane's face up to look at him.
"you weren't?" he's asking and shane's shaking his head.
"just wanted to help you feel better, i know the antidepressants have been a lot," shane says, big eyes all dark and heavy as he looks at ilya. "it has been so nice to see you smile for real again. i missed you."
"so you weren't trying to seduce me?" ilya cocks an eyebrow and shane groans, blowing out a heavy breath through his nose.
"i may have looked at some stupid chick magazine that jackie had in the bathroom about erogenous zones and massages for blood flow and sexual stimulation but i swear i just wanted to make you feel good" shane frowns "i missed making your body feel good. and if i couldn't make you cum i thought i could..."
and ilya is breathing, heavy and ragged, one hand gripping tight at shane's hair, the other slipping over shane's cheek, his thumb tugging at the corner of shane's pink mouth. his husband had wanted to just touch him. touch him and make him feel good even if sex wasn't an option. even if ilya would continue to disappoint him. ilya is a little stupid with his wanting now. his hips shifting, pressing into shane's thigh. pressing his hard cock to shane's thigh.
"well, you made me feel good," ilya murmurs and shane is smiling, that easy, affectionate smile that always makes ilya a little breathless and he's saying "yeah?" and ilya is nodding nodding nodding. "wanna make me feel even better?" and shane is moaning, eyes fluttering shut, tugging against the hold ilya has on his hair. "yes" he is breathing and ilya is letting go, watching as shane shuffles down his body and presses his face into ilya's pubic hair, nuzzling close and breathing deep then pressing the tip of ilya's cock to his cheek. eyes shut like he's savouring the moment. "i will make you feel so good i promise" shane is murmuring and then he's taking ilya in his mouth and ilya is gripping at the edge of the towel and breathing through the pressure, the wetness, the warmth. and he fucking missed this so much and he feels something indescribably and unequivocally good which for a moment he'd thought he'd lost bc of his stupid fucking brain.
it still takes ilya a while to cum. even after so long without it. the drugs make it harder. but it happens. with shane on top of him. thighs bracketing ilya's hips, abdominals tensing and shuddering as he grinds on top of ilya, taking him in and riding ilya hard and dirty and deep. not letting up until ilya is cuming with a groan and a shuddering exhale.
when shane collapses on top of him, cum smearing between their shivering chests, ilya tucks his face into the side of shane's head and kisses kisses kisses over shane's temple, his ear, his cheek. everywhere he can reach. pressing tenderness all over. murmuring softly in russian 'i missed you i love you' and shane is humming, nodding, nuzzling back. returning in fumbling russian 'i missed you too i love you so much' as he tangles his fingers through ilya's curls and scratches at his scalp.
later, when they're cleaned up and snuggled in bed -- shane behind ilya, his feet tucked between ilya's calves pressing his cold toes to ilya's shins, his arms locked around ilya's waist and his face burried in the crook of ilya's neck -- ilya tells him -- facing away from him as he strokes his fingers over shane's hands where they overlap on his stomach -- that "i am sorry it took so long for me to find a drug that let's us fuck" and shane is shaking his head, kissing at ilya's nape. "i'm just glad you found one that makes you feel... well, like you can feel" and ilya is nodding. "would you have still loved me if i never got it up again?" and shane puffs a breath of air against his ear and laughs "yes, baby. i love you. and i love having sex with you. but i want you to be happy more than i want you to get hard or whatever" and ilya is arguing "getting hard makes me happy" and shane is biting his ear in response then kissing at his neck. "if this ever happens again can you promise not to stop touching me?" ilya asks, and feels vulnerable for it, but less terrified because he's speaking it into the dark and not into shane's face. shane's face in pressed into his skin, lashes brushing over the nape of his neck. thank god ilya can't see his face in that moment. "i didn't want to make you feel bad" shane explains "i'm sorry, i shouldn't have been so distant with you. i thought it was the right thing." and ilya hums and says "i probably should have just told you what i needed instead of making you guess" and he feels shane grinning against his skin "therapy has done wonders on you, rozanov. is that self-reflection i hear?" and ilya is rolling his eyes and huffing and burrowing back into shane's hold and ignoring as shane chuckles against his neck then settles, arm squeezing around his middle. "next time just tell me" shane says eventually, voice soft with near-sleep. and ilya says "there won't be a next time" and shane goes "mhm" and ilya sighs "but i will" and shane mumbles "thank you baby" and then he's tucking his nose behind ilya's ear and falling asleep. ilya sleeps easily after.
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