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@ocdadventurer

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One full week left of teaching. Feeling very burned out and stressed. As a perfectionist, I want to make my last lessons special and great…but I’m too tired to put in the amount of work it would take to make that happen. So I’m just hoping to get through and to make it not terrible. Wish me luck!!
Yesterday went pretty well. Today is gonna be a long one…and I have tons of work to do after school, too. Summoning strength…
I'm feeling major "Sunday night blues" even though it's still daytime and I only have 1 1/2 days of work left to get through before I'm free of my school forever. I feel anxious because it seems like there are 1000 things I have to do before I can really leave on Tuesday afternoon. Goodbyes make me anxious and I feel like I have to write personal letters to all of my colleagues who have supported me this year. I'm having intense all-or-nothing thoughts, like "maybe I'll stay up all night writing them, or maybe I won't write them at all." Last week went fine but ended with a rare surprise one-on-one meeting with the principal, whom I can't stand. Anyway, today I stayed in bed into the afternoon just playing on my phone and watching YouTube, and now I just want to sleep and cry and not do anything.
This shall pass, and soon, but I hate it.
One full week left of teaching. Feeling very burned out and stressed. As a perfectionist, I want to make my last lessons special and great…but I’m too tired to put in the amount of work it would take to make that happen. So I’m just hoping to get through and to make it not terrible. Wish me luck!!
Yesterday went pretty well. Today is gonna be a long one...and I have tons of work to do after school, too. Summoning strength...
Looking into the near future, I envision myself being exactly this cat.
One full week left of teaching. Feeling very burned out and stressed. As a perfectionist, I want to make my last lessons special and great...but I’m too tired to put in the amount of work it would take to make that happen. So I’m just hoping to get through and to make it not terrible. Wish me luck!!

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Guilt
I just called in what feels like my millionth absence of the school year. Actually, it’s my 8th, and we’re allowed 10, and there are only 8.5 days left of school after today... I decided to stay home today because I have my period and I’m exhausted and I’m performing in a musical this evening and I don’t see how I can teach six classes and then go do a show. Even though I have taught six classes and then gone to a 5-hour dress rehearsal before. Right now I’m just spent, and excited for summer, and don’t want to teach anymore. My absences have all been for legitimate health reasons except for this one. I hope I can shake the guilt and anxiety I feel about this absence so that I can actually productively rest today. I’ve had an ultra-hard first year of teaching and part of the difficulty has been the bullying the school administration does regarding attendance. I’ve never had perfect attendance for anything in my life - am I unfit to be a teacher?
Things to keep in mind:
You got through yesterday, you’ll get through today.
Look for joy in the little things.
Progress takes time, it’s okay if you’re not where you want to be yet.
Self-love isn’t a bad thing.
Putting yourself first isn’t something to feel bad about.
I need this today - especially #1 & #3.
Calming Websites
So, since I deal with anxiety a lot, and occasionally depression, and am prone to anxiety attacks; as well as having a lot of friends who struggle with anxiety, depression, and anxiety and panic attacks; I’ve been very interested in various relaxation/stress relief methods. Now, obviously, the most effective things are finding a good therapist and maybe discussing prescription medications, but not everyone has access to that, or perhaps the situation doesn’t require it right that second, and then it’s useful to have some alternative methods.
I’ve seen a lot of posts on tumblr with links to various calming sites, and while some I really like, some don’t help me personally so much. Plus I’ve found other sites elsewhere around the web that also help that I haven’t seen here yet. So I thought it wouldn’t hurt to post my personal list.
The more I’ve worked on this, too, the more it’s become a masterpost for all kinds of helpful websites for understanding and coping with anxiety and depression. So, the sites near the top are more for immediate stress relief, while the sites near the bottom are more for long-term mental health care. I hope this is helpful for somebody. ^__^
Nature Sounds For Me - I know rainymood.com is pretty popular right now, but I just found this site and I think I like it better. It lets you mix your own set of up to 4 ambient tracks of nature and other calming sounds, and lets you adjust volumes and frequencies for them, and then they just keep playing nonstop. I have one going right now that’s rain, thunder, wind through leaves, and crickets.
AudioEntrainment - In case you don’t know what they are, isochronic tones and binaural beats are ambient sounds with specific frequencies/pulse rates that are meant to coax your brain rhythms into syncing up and inducing different energy states. From what I’ve read, I believe they have been shown in studies to help with relaxation, meditation, and sleep at the very least, though some claim to do everything from help you quit smoking to astral projection. If nothing else, it’s nice white noise. Here’s one that’s specifically designed for anxiety and depression.
Top 10 Most Relaxing Songs - If you aren’t on a site or video with included music, this article has links to youtube videos for 10 songs that studies have concluded to be the most relaxing.
Stress Analyst - A site designed to help talk you down from a stressful experience.
Player 2 - This site helps talk you through conflicts with other people.
The Thoughts Room - If the above two sites don’t provide what you’re looking for, this site is a place to just pour out all the things you’re thinking and want to say but feel like you can’t or shouldn’t.
Calm.com - Guided relaxation sessions up to 20 minutes with nature sounds and calming graphics.
MoodGym - Haven’t tried this myself, but it’s supposed to be an interactive site with various ‘modules’ to help with depression and anxiety.
The Nicest Place On The Internet - A website full of people giving you hugs! I know it’s not actual physical hugs, but it never fails to make me smile and feel warm and fuzzy inside.
Calming Manatee - The most heartwarming place for comforting and encouraging words.
Automatic Flatterer - compliments for you!
Self-Help Anxiety Management - This is a smartphone app to help track your anxiety over time, identify stressful situations, and manage your anxiety. I haven’t used it much yet, but I just downloaded it. It’s available on both droids and iphones.
I also like to employ aromatherapy candles and diffusers, and calming herbal teas when they’re available. Those would likely require their own masterpost, however, and aren’t always available to someone in need of immediate calming, so they’re not on this list. If/when I get a post about those made, though, I’ll link it here.
Quick Distractions
Cute Roulette - Videos of adorable animals
Cute Overload - photos and videos of adorable animals
Pusheen - adorable comics about an adorable cat
Simon’s Cat - adorable videos about an adorable animated cat
Puppy Livecam and Kitten Livecam - watch baby animals be cute in real time.
MuguMogu - cute videos of web-famous Maru the cat
Silk - An interactive art site that is very meditative. Reminds me of those posts about how drawing the infinity/figure eight or watching fish swim is a therapeutic technique. It also has lovely music.
NeonFlames - Another cool drawing site.
Musical Squares - a simple music making site
Soy Tu Aire - move a paintbrush to the beat of a song, and make a unique visual depiction of the music.
Virtual Bubble Wrap - a virtual sheet of bubble wrap you can pop
Doll Divine - A website full of doll makers and dress-up games, which I find can be quite fun and engrossing.
So Fetch! - An avatar visualizer for the website Subeta, but I like to use it as an excessively extensive doll maker.
Zynga - maker of some of the most addicting facebook games.
New Grounds - host for a lot of flash games.
AddictingGames - resource for a lot of flash games.
Neopets Games - This site has a lot of variations on classic games, as well as a number of games they’ve created themselves, and then can be played without needing an account.
RPG Maker games - RPG games made by people using the RPG Maker program.
YoYo Games - Games made by people using the Game Maker program.
Puzzles.com - A website of various puzzle games
Jigzone - Jigsaw Puzzles
Crossword Puzzles database
Web Sudoku - online sudoku puzzles
World Of Solitaire - a bunch of solitaire games you can play in-browser
Cookie Clicker - An objectiveless game that can provide some cheap distraction and time wasting.
Candy Box - Another distracting time-passing game.
Rogue - One of the first RPG games. Descend through a dungeon fighting monsters and retrieving loot.
Cubefield - An avoiding-obstacles game
Cat Planet - A cute little game with lots of cats. There’s also a highly entertaining and well-known Let’s Play of the game that always cheers me up.
Some more game links
Read Any Book - a resource for online books.
Project Gutenberg - another resource for free online books, in the public domain.
Writing prompts and exercises
Cracked.com and TV Tropes - two websites I can get lost all day reading.
If these aren’t doing it for you, check out some of the suggestions in the Additional Resources links, such as making a glitter jar, cooking comfort food, doing crafts or art projects, taking a walk, etc. I also enjoy distracting myself by researching and reading about topics that interest me and/or making pointless lists of things (TV shows I like, game mods I’d like to download, ingredients for recipes, etc.).
Immediate Crisis Help
List of Hotlines - Crisis Hotlines sorted by need
Befrienders - Find crisis hotline information for whatever country you live in.
Suicide Hotlines - A list of crisis hotlines by country.
International Rape Crisis Hotlines - A list of international crisis hotline directories.
Lifeline Crisis Chat - Online chat help for people in a crisis.
IMAlive - another online crisis chat.
Additional Resources
Another List of Links that includes a lot of articles and reading materials that may be helpful.
You Are Not Alone - a mental health support tumblr that a lot of the links from the above list are from.
Mental Illness Mouse - another mental health support tumblr with lots of good resources and encouraging messages.
List of Self-Help Channels - a list of youtube channels to help people with a number of anxiety and depression-related challenges, and other mental health needs.
The Safe Space Network: Tumblr List - an extensive list of support tumbles.
Self-Harm Alternatives - different people self-harm for different reasons, and require different alternatives. Here’s some potential ideas to help find what coping mechanism may be right for you.
Finding Professional Help
Depression: Finding a Doctor or Therapist - What to look for and expect when seeking out a therapist.
Psychologists vs. Psychiatrists - Understanding the difference between these two types of mental health professionals. From personal experience, I would advise seeking out a psychologist over a psychiatrist for talking through stressful situations, but a psychiatrist over a family or personal doctor for obtaining and monitoring prescriptions. It is perfectly alright to have more than one doctor helping you, as well, since different doctors have different specialties. (I have both a psychologist and a psychiatrist for my anxiety)
Psychology Today: Find a Therapist - Search tool to find therapists near you.
Psychology Today: Find a Psychiatrist - Search tool to find psychiatrists near you.
If You Are Not The One In Need Of Calming
How to Talk to a Friend Having a Panic Attack
How to Talk to a Friend Who Self-Harms
How to Talk to a Friend With an Addiction
How to Talk to a Friend With an Eating Disorder
How to Talk to a Suicidal Friend
More Things Not to Say To Someone Dealing With Mental Illness X X X
Physical Realities of Mental Illness
What Anxiety is Like: X X X
What Depression is Like: X X
This comic works for both
What An Anxiety Attack or Panic Attack Feel Like: X X X
Artistic photographic depictions of what living with anxiety and depression are like.
In general, remember that mental illness is a legitimate illness, their feelings are real, even if they don’t always show, and they can’t just 'get over it’ and many cannot be 'cured’ or 'fixed’. If they are exhibiting self-destructive behavior, remember that it’s a coping mechanism for underlying stressors. Focus on what is causing them to feel like they need this behavior, not the behavior itself. Listen to what they say they are feeling and take it at face value, don’t dismiss or devalue their emotions. Emotions may be irrational, but they are never 'wrong’. People with mental illnesses are human beings, are not broken, and deserve respect and love.
P.S. I am totally willing to update this and/or repost it with new links! So if you have other ideas, I’m up for hearing them!
Recovering!
Last week, I had a turning point in working on my disordered eating. I realized I had to make up my mind as to whether or not I was actually going to begin eating healthfully again. I had been doing the bare minimum when it came to recovery. ED had been telling me that if I ate any more than what I could pass off as borderline healthy on my food logs, I wasn’t really sick or thin and didn’t deserve help. Then, I decided to try. I decided not to wait until I had gotten to my “goal weight” or until my friends and family told me I looked too thin. I asked my therapist for a list of what counted as meals and what counted as snacks, and then I decided to try eating those things to see how it felt. I’ve been eating a healthy amount and variety of food for almost a week now, and I feel pretty damn good. I have more energy, and it’s not that fake hyperactive energy I got from restricting. I’m enjoying food again. It’s not all rainbows and sunshine. I feel ambivalent about gaining weight and I’m dealing with some increased OCD symptoms. However, I’m feeling optimistic that this is a true step in the right direction. I know it’s not as simple as “deciding to try.” I’m lucky in that I haven’t struggled with disordered eating over a very long period of time. I also have access to a good support system and healthy foods. But maybe this update can give some of you some hope :)
Hi, my OCD is just getting worse since I've moved out of home for uni and I'm sick to death of it. I see a psychologist every two weeks but I only have a few free sessions left and then I won't be able to afford to see her. I was wondering if you have any advice on how to make myself stop giving in to ticks and rituals? I get the most repulsive and horrifying intrusive thoughts which cause me to complete the rituals and it seems like I'll never be able to stop doing them... Which scares me a lot
Dear Anon,
I’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling with OCD. I know how terrifying it can be to experience disturbing intrusive thoughts and to feel unable to control the compulsions that follow.
I strongly recommend asking your psychologist for help creating a plan for when you’re no longer able to see her. She might be able to recommend a free OCD support group in your area, or give you a list of workbooks you can use to work through OCD on your own until you are able to access therapy again.
Are you able to see a medical doctor? Anti-anxiety medication has helped lower my anxiety to a point where I’m able to do the work to manage my OCD. It doesn’t make my OCD go away, but it helps with my urge to compulse, which is super useful.
Best of luck! You can do this! Please check back in to let me know how you’re doing.
xoxoElla

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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How do I explain my OCD to my parents ? I've known for years this is what I've been struggling with but I'm afraid to even try to explain my compulsions and thoughts to them. I don't think they'll believe me for one and a part of me is scared they'll think I'm crazy. I need help because it's becoming harder and I really need to tell them but I just don't know how.
Dear Anon,
I’m so sorry you’re struggling with OCD. I know how hard it is to struggle in secret. I’m glad you’ve decided to take the brave step of talking to your parents about OCD.
For me personally, telling someone about my OCD, getting diagnosed and getting help felt overwhelming at the time but ended up being the best thing I could have done for myself. I don’t know how your parents feel about therapy, but if they are open to helping you get help, that’s awesome! If they’re dismissive at first, they might warm up to the idea with time. Depending on your parents’ reaction, consider reaching out to another trusted adult - a guidance counselor, doctor, teacher, etc. - who can help you feel supported.
Telling your parents about your OCD does not mean you have to tell them the details of your obsessions and compulsions. If they press you for details, you can say that you’ve been feeling extremely anxious and would like to speak with a therapist or doctor. You might find it helpful to refer to YouTube videos (this one is great: https://youtu.be/DhlRgwdDc-E) that explain OCD in easy-to-understand terms.
I’m wishing you the best of luck with your recovery. Please check in to let me know how you’re doing!
xoxoElla
You know the worst thing about mental illness? The constant doubt that you have it. You can see a psychologist, research all of the symptoms in depth and spend so much time analyzing yourself but in the end, you still dismiss your suspicions and/or diagnosis. You wonder if you’re making it up, if you’re being dramatic or seeking attention. It’s hard to come to terms with the fact that it is real and you have it. You’re not crazy.
OCD
me: I have OCD.
NT: but you aren't, like, obsessively clean and organized!!
me: if I told you about half of my intrusive thoughts and compulsions you would never speak to me again
My therapist’s waiting room music is always hilarious to me in some way or another. Today it’s exclusively angsty love songs from the late 90s and early 2000s, several of which triggered my OCD as a kid. They still kind of raise my anxiety but not as badly as when I was 11! Imagine screaming internally every time Dave Matthews came on the radio (and not out of love or hate!)
Anyone else have musical triggers?

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Hiii tumblr I miss youuu xoxo Ella
I say no worries a lot for someone who worries 101% of the time