Me: depressed af literally too anxious to leave the house (agoraphobic) and caught in a time loop of my own feral grotesque nightmare in which I die before experiencing living.

You forget to take your meds and get a headache. I forget to take my meds and have an intense sex dream about a man dressed as a cat.

I really wish ocd intrusive thoughts weren't so stigmatized and misunderstood even in "anti ableism" communities because the thoughts alone can ruin your entire life. You see yourself as unsafe to even people you love--I know of a mother who refused to be around her own children because one of her intrusive thoughts was that she's a pedophile and a danger to children. Like this shit makes you want to die but you can't talk about it because everyone reinforces the idea that you are in fact actually dangerous which is...already what people with intrusive thoughts think about themselves. No one knows how horrific ocd actually is to deal with because no one can talk about it. It's even worse for abuse victims whose intrusive thoughts are related to abuse THEY experienced...anyways.

when you think everything is lovely and wonderful and sunshine/rainbows//unicorns in your relationship and then the rOCD comes back

when you try your hardest to fend off your intrusive thoughts and obsessive compulsions but theyre coming at you at mach speed and youre just like

me with adhd about everything: