Love is watching someone die.

is that a nothing in your pants or are you just normal to see me

she’s been dead for 10 years

In the near future, you are making dinner because you are about to meet your girlfriend’s dad for the first time. All you have in the kitchen is cooked frozen steaks. In walks your girlfriend and her dad, Gordon Ramsey.

This isn’t a prompt, this a fully finished horror story

the horror story is about how my girlfriend needs to leave immediately because i’m going to fuck her dad

none of yall know what propaganda actually is, do you?

It took this addition for me to comprehend the joke. Thank you.

Jeff, we talked about your username.

you can't fool me op ive seen the game

everyone else is like "oh we gotta stay inside the most secure places possible and never leave" and I'll be storming through the wastelands in my bloodstained suit of armor, blasting the Doom (2016) OST and plowing my way through waves of the undead. one of them tries to bite me but his shitty rotting teeth don't even leave a dent in my armor before I turn his head into paste. I'll be unstoppable until I die of dehydration or something like an idiot

ladies? i have GOT to ask. what is going on

Well, I wake in the morning and I step outside, and I take a deep breath and I get real high, and I scream from the top of my lungs.

That depends entirely on the bakery, and the customer, in question.

(gives you a sexy blood transfusion) 

(gives you a sexy blood transfusion)

(gives you a sexy blood transfusion)

(gi

why did you stop?

arrested for malpractice