Revolving Doors Lead to Forever

And he was like "we don't need to go to [town], we'll just go to the one in your town. And I said my town doesn't have a McDonald's. And he was like "okay, we'll go to the closest one". And I was like right, the one in [town]. And he said "that's twenty minutes away from your house, you really don't have one closer?" And when I confirmed that he said "well, it doesn't have to be McDonald's. It can be whatever fast food place is in your town." And I was like there is no fast food in my town. There is no food in my town period unless you want to stop for gas station hot dogs. And he was like "that doesn't make any sense. Then what do you do when you need food?" And I said I drive to [town]. And he said "every single time you need food or groceries?" And I said yeah, that's sort of how the fixed nature of buildings work. And then we drove in silence for ten minutes while this man tried to wrap his head around the fact that I had to drive twenty minutes to town to go grocery shopping.

Yeah, same.

I flatly refuse to believe such a place is possible. You're all making this up.

And this is going to make a lot of people very angry to hear.

But a lot of y'all on this website are truly deeply genuinely never going to be capable of any kind of real narrative analysis--and I don't mean 'being right all the time' I mean 'meaningfully engaging with the text in any way'--

The match cuts were meticulously designed and put there to communicate something.

The VA's delivery of a line was being directed. Inflection and tone change the meaning of dialogue. This is intentional. There are entire teams of people shaping those choices and deciding which take to use based on what works best for the story.

Information is being revealed in a specific order, on purpose, to craft an emotional arc and guide the audience's understanding.

A character's romantic preferences are only, and SHOULD only be, their primary motivation if the genre is romance. That is why there is a genre called that. Most stories are other genres.

Creators who dislike a character generally give them LESS attention, MORE boring storylines, and LESS screentime.

Sometimes curtains are just blue. But if the shot composition or written narration takes time to HIGHLIGHT, especially more than once, that the curtains are blue, then the blueness of the curtains is by definition narratively important.

"Cite your sources" is not a witch's curse that banishes People With Different Opinions to the shadowrealm of Being Wrong. Someone making points that challenge your perceptions, while including screenshots and explicit examples, cannot be dismissed with "cite your sources" because they are literally doing that. Don't @ me on this one I've seen shit in the wars, y'all.

Failing to understand these things WILL bar you from ever really engaging with or understanding any narrative more complicated than Paw Patrol for the rest of your life.

i used to see those old timey photos of photos of circus fat men and laugh a little because its like. really? this was the fattest guy anyone could find? this guy was so comically fat that he could go to a circus, and people would pay to gawk at him? this guy? i could walk into any bar in my town and lose an arm wrestling match to a guy fatter than this. 110 years ago guy was professionally fat, now he's losing to amateur hobbyists.

but then i think, you know, yes. i could outfat this man with the benefit of modern technology. i could eat two twinkies and smirk at this bastards two fucking grocery bags of tomatoes. i could do that.

but it is actually a hell of an accomplishment to do this with 1910s food. imagine the hell of being the 5 minute tomato man. like, your part time job is just chewing. 20% of your life is going to be chewing. its a grind. its awful. and then you look over, and theres this beautiful bastard, and the timer hasnt even gone off and hes eating another tomato. you're looking at him, and you're gonna say hey, i think you heard someone elses alarm, you dont have to do that, but then he gets another tomato. look at that defiant posture. look at his arms crossed. 12 bags of tomatoes? make it 20. im not scared of you, this posture says. im not scared of being alive. is it work? is it work to exist? of course its work to exist. so much chewing. but whats the alternative, let the fuckers grind you down? let the tomatoes win? he eats another one. you're grinning. you eat your tomato. you cant keep up with him but it feels a little better. this isnt a losing battle. youre alive. youve seen fat bastards before but they were rich. they got fat the easy way, with good food, with good drink, with honey and butter and jam. this guy has tomatoes. he eats another. he cant beat em but he can join em. he can do this. youre cheering. your friends are cheering. he does this for another six months and then he says hes got a new job. hes joining the circus. he is now, finally, professionally fat.

and now we’re here. confused. together.

tomato for your troubles?

ingredience:

lemons/limes (this needs to make up the bulk of the fruit being used, like at least 80%)

whatever other fruits or fruit scraps you want, plus any herbs/other flavorings you want to try. by fruit scraps I mean things like cherry pits, apple peels, pineapple cores, strawberry ends, things like that.

granulated white sugar, the coarser the better, 50% by weight of total citrus rinds + 100% by weight of any additional fruit. you'll measure this after you prep the fruit.

water as needed

equipment:

a few nonmetallic mixing bowls

a mesh strainer

a chinoise, ricer or some cheesecloth

a kitchen scale

a citrus juicer or reamer (manual or electric)

a potato masher

juice the citrus through a strainer - saving all rinds -  and refrigerate the juice for the time being. dice the rinds and other fruits if any, keeping the rinds separate. make note of weights, and measure your sugar.

 Place sugar in a large nonmetallic bowl. If using non-citrus fruits and/or any other flavorings, mix them in with the sugar and mash with potato masher. add diced citrus rinds, mix thoroughly, and mash again. cover and let stand at room temperature for at least 4 hours. this allows the sugar to draw out flavors that would otherwise get discarded with the rinds, and the rinds' acids should be enough to dissolve the sugar into a syrup.

Afterward, mash one last time, then collect the syrup by pressing the macerated mixture through a strainer/chinoise or ricer, or squeeze it through cheesecloth. if you want, this can be saved as a standalone syrup at this point, for use in cocktails or desserts. if not, slowly pour the reserved juice through the solids to to help get the remaining syrup out, and squeeze/press again. do the same thing one more time with warm water (roughly the same amount of water as juice). discard solids (or try making sangria with them!).

taste the mixture and add more water if necessary. a stronger mix is totally fine if you anticipate serving over ice on a hot day, or adding booze, or if there was a lot of non-sour fruit. keep in mind that it will taste a bit less sweet once it's chilled. pour into a pitcher and refrigerate.

citrus oils will float to the top, so stir/shake before serving. love you. enjoy.

some tried and true flavor combos:

straight lemon or lime, or any combination of the two, is of course an untouchable classic

lemon & strawberries (that's pussy babe!)

lemon & orange with a hint of vanilla (creamsiclemonade...?)

lemon & apples or apple peels with cinnamon/ginger/allspice (for late summer)

some cocktail type combos, booze optional:

lemon or lime & berries with basil + gin

lime & mint + white rum

lime & ginger + dark rum

lime & cucumber + gin

lime & orange (berries optional) + tequila