WIZARD FIRST LOSER SECOND

sports wizards casually showing off their powers

I work cybersecurity, this is like half my job.

the whole vaccine deal tbh

antidepressants

Yes these are all the work of wizards

im not doing any whimsical christmas shenanigans this year. who give a shit

okay nevermind i accidentally drank a shrinking potion and got left behind by my minions on our annual holiday trip to paris

im Gnome Alone !

god fuck my stupid wizard life

Yeah man, this wizard sleepover is cozy. I just saw a guy gently clap his hands together and say "hot beverage conjuration" or something, and suddenly everyone was holding a perfect mug of their favorite warm drink in their hands. Nobody who was already sleeping even woke up, that's how cozy it is. I'm over here casting pillow and level 2 pyjamas. I think I just heard "power word: blanket fort" two groups over. I gotta get in there.

Yeah man, this wizard conference is such a drag. I just saw a guy clap his hands together and say "Hastened Networking" or something, and suddenly everyone in a 20 foot radius was holding a copy that dude's business card. Nobody even acknowledged the quality of his card, that's how common this is. I'm over here casting Handshake and level 2 Small Talk. I think I just heard "Power Word: Video Call" two groups over. I gotta get a new job.

Yeah man, this wizard sleepover is cozy. I just saw a guy gently clap his hands together and say "hot beverage conjuration" or something, and suddenly everyone was holding a perfect mug of their favorite warm drink in their hands. Nobody who was already sleeping even woke up, that's how cozy it is. I'm over here casting pillow and level 2 pyjamas. I think I just heard "power word: blanket fort" two groups over. I gotta get in there.

well yeah i have a pet hydra and it only has one head. i'm not going to cut its head off just to make it look cooler, you asshole. that's seriously unethical. and i'm not letting you cut its head off either. if you really want a hydra with multiple heads, you should go for a rescue- but if you want your pet to look cooler at the cost of its physical health, maybe you shouldn't get any kind of pet at all. no, the hydra's not for guarding my evil tower, it's my pet. have you ever heard of a pet? like a puppy or a kitty? you think i can't defend my evil tower by my self?

Common misconception that you have to cut off the heads to make them grow more, anyway. As the hydra grows large enough to support multiple heads, its original head(s) will fall off naturally and grow new ones. Forcing them to grow new heads early stresses their circulatory systems and can also give them hip problems later in life, so allowing them to naturally gain heads will make them better at their jobs in the long run even if you do have a working hydra.

wizard college is going to kill me I swear to god. I just saw someone without a component satchel reach into their pocket and pull out a handful of LOOSE tapioca to use as a substitute for blood in their fell ritual. and it worked. I've never been so fucking mad.

Elvish King behavior

remember when hank green signed a doctor who themed rock band to his label and it later came out that three of the four members were sex criminals

No? I need to know more

this was like 15 years ago but just look up “chameleon circuit”

this is the greatest advertisement of our culture ive ever seen