★ yikes ★

my new poker strat: start tearing up after looking at my cards no matter what i got

it’s never a normal temperature anymore it’s always some fucking bullshit

(three decades into my life) sorry I wasn’t paying attention, can we start again?

i bet it feels good to be an underwater plant just swaying in sync with the flow of water

im completely addicted to Open Link in New Tab

google used to know what i was talking about

im so sorry that you're doomed by the narrative but i really need you to answer my message on Microsoft Teams

No, Word, I do not “want to rewrite this paragraph with copilot”. Similarly, I do not “want to hire a drunk chimp as a chauffeur”, so perhaps you can fuck off?

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

normalise undersharing on the internet. for instance, I just

I feel like a lot of people get "All Art is Political" confused with "All Art is made with Political Intentions" which is not the same.

[the most low energy you have ever seen me] we’re about to go crazy mode