Watch It All Fall Down

the most Child Emperor urge i have is to shout "BOOORRIINGGG!!!" when i have to witness something i dont like for too long

*at a family gathering* you’re all like coworkers to me

life is so hard when you’re a very lazy girl by nature but you also want to do a lot of things in your one wild and precious life

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

it's actually sick you get tired of eating the same food over and over when some animals they just eat grass all day mind you. just another pointless challenge mechanic added in by big universe to get you to go to the grocery store

Was literally thinking about this when I gave the rabbits their breakfast, the same dry pellets they get twice a day every day, and they were so hyped for it, as they always are. Why can't I have that where are my pellets #mypellets

I live a very balanced life of noticing things nobody else does and not noticing the things that literally everybody notices

the number 1 rule of fanfic is have fun and be yourself. the number 2 rule is the average healthy adult male can lose roughly 2 liters of blood before dying.

After 13 years of this, it's still funny to me that detailing a full mental breakdown on tumblr is standard fare, but posting a nice selfie is a fraught decision.

this is the correct way around and every other social media site is wrong

[yelling at the club to someone i met ten minutes ago] do you think im a burden be honest

cats know keyboard shortcuts even microsoft doesnt know about

stab scene intimacy coordinator

we’re so lucky that gilgamesh survived and is a banger. can you imagine if we found the oldest written human story ever recorded and it sucked balls.

dont store a knife with the point facing down, it damages the blade. no, dont do that either. when you store it with the point facing up you might accidentally hurt yourself when you try to grab it. dont store a knife at all actually. your blade must never leave your hand, always ready, ruthless and waiting. you know deep down that ever since you learned the stench of blood you will never be able to cast it aside. or just get a sheath for it i guess.

resurrected dead wife watching her own montage: wow I looked so hot in that

(me ever since I was 12) okay I actually need to get it together now