Not Your Dog

Marriage as a romantic concept and marriage as a legal-financial framework should have no bearing on each other. You should have to right to associate legally and financially with whoever and however many people you want.

So from then on whenever one of us called something problematic, he would make us talk it out until we could name the “bad” thing we were hinting at. In this particular class, 7/10 it was some type of oppression, and the remainder was like, “I’m uncomfortable because this is very new/confusing/pushing boundaries that made me feel safe.”

Once we stopped calling things “problematic” and stopping at that, class got way more interesting and... we all had to say, like, “that’s racist” or “that’s misogynistic” or “ew capitalism gross” out loud, which a lot of us had never done in a classroom before. Or we had to be like, “Uhhh... I’m not sure what’s so bad?” and confront our own beliefs and that was maybe even more useful.

Not only was Baker’s flag gorgeous, he had some fascinating and poignant ideas about what the colors he used symbolized.

thats it! all 8 pages! i had a lot of fun drawing this, thank you for everybodys kind words on the preview post.

case fans: don't put your dick in these. stroke the outside carefully, in a circular motion, for maximum stimulation

usb ports: great place for penetration. flash drives are the traditional option but you can connect nearly anything, ask your partner if theyre into something specific. if theyre really kinky, try viruses or pentesting tools like the flipper zero.

power button: threatening to press it can be incredibly hot, but only actually press it with enthusiastic consent.

removable side panel: for getting really intimate. be very careful, the internals are sensitive!

hotswappable parts: sometimes SSDs (M.2 SSDs will be screwed in parallel to the motherboard, others may look different), HDDs (spinning disks inside big cases, usually get their own bay), and GPUs (big chips with fans attached) can be removed while your partner is running, but not all computers support this. this is a common part of BDSM, but make absolutely sure it's safe beforehand.

motherboard: the MOST sensitive part of their body! touch lightly and carefully. running the tips of your fingers along the traces is incredibly stimulating. play with the capacitors, too.

screws: loosening screws can be incredibly erotic, but be careful. especially with M.2 SSDs, this may cause problems! only loosen an M.2 drive if it is NOT mounted.

software: virus play was mentioned earlier, but also simply running very demanding software can be erotic.

download play: downloading embarrassing or illicit files is very hot. be sure to ask consent before installing league of legends.

firewall play: opening up or disabling your partner's firewall can be thought of as akin to exhibitionism. be careful with this, it can be a security risk, but most of the time it's not a big issue.

BIOS play: messing with your partner's BIOS settings can be incredibly intimate. remember, overclocking can be dangerous, only do it in small increments and very carefully! try starting with changing XMP profiles or something first.

that nub they have on thinkpad laptops: that's the clit.

remember some key safety tips:

ALWAYS wear protection! a static wrist strap is important if you are touching the internals, especially the motherboard.

heat warning! your partner will run hot when they're aroused. the GPU and CPU will burn you! even the SSD may run quite hot, especially during download play.

don't stick your dick in the fans. please.

I understand why that advice exists. On some levels, it's true. There is a level of control that submissives need to retain for safe play, and dominants who demand or expect submission purely for the fact that they are a dominant are bad play partners, and generally assholes. Parts of the message can be important because a lot of inexperienced (or badly-experienced) subs can end up neglecting their own agency and assuming that's just part of being a submissive.

But there's also an imbalance to it. Something that reinforces the personhood of the submissive in a dynamic while leaving that of the dominant unacknowledged. Agency for me but not for thee. Not "Nobody has to do anything in a scene that they aren't comfortable with", but "You as a submissive should be in control of the contents of a scene for your own comfort". Not "Nobody owes their sexuality, their dominance, their submission, their time and energy to anyone else they don't feel like giving it to", but "Dominants should have to earn the privelage of your submission".

There is an assumption that permeates a lot of kink spaces, that only a sub can be made uncomfortable, that only a sub can have their boundraries crossed, that only a sub has need of safeties and negotiation and being approached respectfully, because nominally the dominant is in control. We are assumed to be safe and comfortable on the basis that we're the ones who give the orders or whatever, but that's not how it works.

Dominants can and do get sexually harrassed by subs. I've been messaged *very* aggressively by some strangers in my time who fail to understand that their submission doesn't change the fact they're demanding sexual favours from a stranger. I've heard stories of dominants in abusive relationships where their consent was taken as an assumption at all times. There's a lot of kink advice out there that tells subs they have the agency to do only what they want, but fails to pair it with the necessary follow up that they also have the agency to do harm.