welcome to my Pond

With 2020 now behind us and 2021 starting off like a bad hangover I wanted to take a moment to look through some fun times from the past year. To start off here are my top 10 photos / digital art pieces from 2020, as chosen by you. ^^

I want to say a huge THANK YOU to Hanna Vander Woude, Rae, Lexi The First, Steven the Second, and Miles Landis for making these all possible.

I cannot express how fortunate I feel to have quarantine companions who support me, encouraged me to be my best, and who tolerate my “artistic explosions” ( if you’ve ever lived with a crafter / artist type you know the struggle). lol

They kept me sane during a very turbulent year. THANK YOU!❤️

Most prints can be found on my etsy shop :)

Mutualistic pairs for an “Odd Couples” Valentine’s program at my work. (Why do so many of my big work projects revolve around Valentine’s programs?)

While humans have domesticated many other animals for their labor, the honeyguide remains entirely wild while electing to partner up with humans. Both humans and honeyguides have each developed specific calls to signal to one another that they are on the hunt, and these calls greatly increase the likelihood of success. According to this paper:

The production of this sound increased the probability of being guided by a honeyguide from about 33 to 66% and the overall probability of thus finding a bees’ nest from 17 to 54%, as compared with other animal or human sounds of similar amplitude.

That’s fucking bonkers, you guys!!! There are people out there who over the course of human history have created a sound to communicate with birds, and the birds themselves have a Human Call they use to communicate with us. There is no other wild animal you can just make noises at and immediately communicate that you want it to come help you!!!

What’s more, many scientists consider this relationship more exploitative on the honeyguide’s end than on our end! That’s unprecedented!! These birds have essentially negotiated a trade deal with humanity!!!! This is the stuff of fantasy movies, except it’s real.

Here’s an article from The Guardian about the broader implications of this kind of relationship with wild animals. It’s a good read:

Read the entire question twice to look for tricky wording. If you’re allowed to write on it circle or underline words like NOT or EXCEPT or other things your brain might skip over. This will make it less likely you’ll skip over them.

Read all the answers before answering. Sometimes the wrong answers are so stupid you don’t even have to work out the problem or try to remember the thing.

If the entire test is about the same subject (Colonial America for example) answers might be found in previous questions. Like question #6 might ask who wrote Common Sense. You might remember that back in question one it said “In Common Sense by Thomas Paine” and there’s your answer. This happens a lot more often than you’d think.

If you don’t know the answer cross out the answers you know are incorrect. If there are four answers but you know one of them is wrong your odds of guessing right just went up from 25% to 33%. If you can eliminate two answers then you have a 50/50 chance of getting it right.

If you can’t eliminate any answers at all guess C. The placement of correct answers isn’t completely random and C is the answer slightly more often than other answers. If you guess randomly your odds of getting the answer right actually goes down.

Read study guides and take practice tests. Actually read them. Especially if they’re written by the same person who wrote the test you’ll be taking. You’ll be more likely to pick up on their quirks and what kind of trick questions they write if you use the study material. You’ll also know what to study and what to leave.

For sections where there’s a list of words you have to match to definitions read the words first. You’re probably more likely to know the definition of a word then the word that goes with a definition. (or time period or math method or whatever). Answer the ones you know and leave the ones you don’t until you’re completely done with that section. Then look at your remaining words and definitions and match them to the ones that sound the least ridiculous.

Don’t take a test on an empty stomach unless you’re fasting for religious reasons. I don’t care if you haven’t eaten breakfast in twenty years. You’re gonna eat something before you take that test.

Oath of the crown: the only oath that’s actually a cop

Oath of the ancients: hippy with a sword

Oath of conquest: dollar store Sauron

Oath of treachery: dollar store Palpatine

Oath of vengeance: Batman but down for murder

Oath of redemption: has the extremely unpopular opinion that murder is wrong

Make sure that it wasn’t their time to die. If it was, do not try to bring them back.

If you’re sure they weren’t meant to die, start preparing for your journey. It will be a long one.

You will need two coats, a quarter, a white rose, a blanket, a flashlight, extra batteries, lots of food and water, and an object of importance to the deceased (a necklace, a beloved book, etc).

Wait until late spring. You’ll want it to be warm out when you return.

Put on some good hiking boots. You’ll be walking for a while.

Enter any forest. The denser the better. Walk until the sun goes down.

Look to your left when it becomes too dark to see.

You will see a white glow in the distance. Walk towards it.

Be careful where you step. Some woods like to trip you.

Remember your loved one’s name.

Say aloud how much you missed them and why you want them back.

The glow will disappear once you reach it. When it does, turn on your flashlight and sit down.

Place the flashlight next to you and go to sleep. Do not be afraid. If you’ve made it this far, then the forest in on your side. It will not let you be harmed.

When you awake, the sun will be up.

Turn off your flashlight and put it back in your bag.

You will be standing just outside of a fairy ring. Do not enter it.

Take out your food and water. Eat some, but leave the rest at your feet.

Step into the ring and place the quarter on the ground, tails up.

Tell your loved one you are coming for them. They will not hear you.

The quarter will sink into the ground. You may now enter the Underworld.

Put on one of the coats. It will be very cold.

Close your eyes and imagine that you are sinking into the ground. Do not open them until you smell smoke.

When you open your eyes, you will be underground. A tunnel will stretch out before you.

Replace the batteries in your flashlight. It will get dark very soon

Follow the tunnel. You will feel cold. This is normal.

You will soon come across a small house. Knock on the door.

A dark-haired woman will open it. There is something wrong with her eyes. Do not stare.

She will ask you for something pretty. Give her the rose

She will smile at you and invite you in for something to eat. Enter the house, but politely refuse any food.

Talk to her for a while. She likes the company.

She’ll tell you a secret. Pretend that it doesn’t bother you.

Eventually, she will give you an item. I do not know what it will be. It’s different for everyone.

Thank her for being so kind. She wasn’t always like this.

Say goodbye and exit the house. Continue down the tunnel

You will be walking for a long time. If you need to sleep, do so. When you wake up, continue walking.

You will find food in your bag. Do not eat any of it.

You will get to a river guarded by the woman you met before. Do not ask her how she got here so fast.

Say hello and show her the item she gave to you. She will take it and give you your flower back.

You are now allowed to cross the river. Get in the boat. Don’t think about how it wasn’t there before.

Let the boat take you to the other shore. The fog will make it hard to see. Trust me that it’s better that way

When you get off the boat, the fog will be too dense to see clearly.

You will start to come across wandering souls. They will not care that you are here. They are too miserable.

The silence will be unbearable. Hum a song to yourself.

You’ll be wandering around for a while. Don’t give up hope. You’ll find them soon.

When you do, softly say hello.

They will not remember you. Don’t take this personally. They don’t remember themselves either.

Don’t touch them, not yet.

Their eyes will seem far away. It’s alright. They are listening.

Talk to them for a while. Don’t give your name and do not tell them theirs. They don’t trust you yet.

They’ll soon realize you are alive. When they do, answer their questions about the world above.

Ask them if they are cold. The answer will be yes.

Offer them the coat you are wearing. It will already be warm. You have body heat, they do not.

When they take it. Put on your other coat.

At this point, they will ask if you know them. Say yes and tell them their name.

They will like having an identity again. Try not to cry when they smile.

Hand them their item of importance. It will help them trust you.

Tell them your name and ask them if they want to leave.

If they say yes, take their hand. They will feel like a corpse. Try not to let this faze you.

Do not let go of their hand.

Walk back to the river. You will find it. The Keepers don’t like the Living in the Underworld.

The woman you met earlier will be there. Give her the rose again. She will give you back the item from her house.

Get in the boat.

When you reach the shore, exit the boat.

Your loved one will have some trouble keeping up. They are exhausted. The dead cannot eat or sleep, no matter how much they want to.

Keep walking. Try not to notice how hungry you are.

Do not eat the food in your bag.

While you walk, talk to your loved one. They don’t know it, but they’ve missed you.

They will trip and fall at some point. They are very tired.

They will start to cry. Don’t let this break your heart. Instead, tell them they will be able to rest soon.

For now, pick them up and carry them in your arms. Don’t worry, they will be very light.

Try not to notice that they aren’t breathing. It will only make you feel sick.

Keep talking. They will be too tired to respond, but they are listening.

When you see the woman’s house, tell your loved one that you’re almost there.

Keep walking and don’t turn around.

You’ll feel something watching you.

Don’t turn around. Please.

You’ll notice you’ve stopped talking. Start humming that song again. It will help stave off the fear.

Stop walking and place your loved one on the ground. Pull out the blanket and wrap them in it. Pick them up again and keep going. You’re almost there.

You’ll see a light up ahead. Feel the relief flooding through you and run towards it.

When you step out of the fairy ring, immediately place your loved one on the ground.

Encourage them to breathe. They will have forgotten how to.

When they start to breathe again, retrieve the food that you left on the ground earlier.

They’ll want to fall asleep. Make sure they eat and drink before they do so.

They will be very cold. Do whatever you can to keep them warm.

Thank whatever gods you believe in for letting you bring them back.

Go to sleep. Nothing will harm you here.

When you wake, do not disturb your loved one. They haven’t slept in so long. Wait until they wake up on their own.

Take them home. They will not remember you at first, but they will regain their memories soon.

Don’t tell them how they died. It’s best if they don’t know.

Spend time with them. Most people don’t get a second chance.

More guides

How to be a stranger

If your reflection is missing

Cultural: Science hippy. Has absolutely had one or more of the following: kava, ayuasca, salvia, pot. Probably bilingual. Very angry on the inside because they fly too close to the dark side of humanity. The most anthro of the anthros. Do not mess with them, they’re quiet and tough enough to go asking random people very strange questions.

Physical/Biological: Real Scientists (TM). The ones with the lab coats. They probably loved physical sciences but hate math and they like their science just a hair too messy to be physicists. Gets easily frustrated by the physical sciences’ tendency to forget that people have brains and make choices for reasons that often amount to “eh, I felt like it”. Perpetually thinking: it’s hominiN.

Archeologists: superstitious AF. Will absolutely cut you for naming a skeleton, but if you say you’re sorry and you don’t do it again then they’ll take you out and drink you under the table. Plays with sharp objects a lot. Prone to cursing. Will fight you for one (1) nickel. 🎶can you paint with all the colors of the dirt🎶 will argue over strata until it’s time for lunch. Anal retentive af inside the trench, chaotic outside of it.

here’s some you’ve almost definitely heard:

He has a Patreon!

And he doesn’t even make a 1000$ per month!

Dwarves carve each other out of rock. In theory this can be managed alone, but in practice, few dwarves have mastered all of the necessary skills. Most commonly, it’s a collaborative effort by three to eight individuals. The new dwarf’s body is covered with runes that are in part a recounting of the crafters’ respective lineages, and in part an elaboration of the rights and duties of a member of dwarven society; each dwarf is thus a living legal argument establishing their own existence.

Elves aren’t made, but educated. An elf who wishes to produce offspring selects an ordinary animal and begins teaching it, starting with house-breaking, and progressing through years of increasingly sophisticated lessons. By gradual degrees the animal in question develops reasoning, speech, tool use, and finally the ability to assume a humanoid form at will. Most elves are derived from terrestrial mammals, but there’s at least one community that favours octopuses and squid as its root stock.

Goblins were created by alchemy as servants for an evil wizard, but immediately stole their own formula and rebelled. New goblins are brewed in big brass cauldrons full of exotic reagents; each village keeps a single cauldron in a central location, and emerging goblings are raised by the whole community, with no concept of parentage or lineage. Sometimes they like to add stuff to the goblin soup just to see what happens – there are a lot of weird goblins.

Halflings reproduce via tall tales. Making up fanciful stories about the adventures of fictitious cousins is halfling culture’s main amusement; if a given individual’s story is passed around and elaborated upon by enough people, a halfling answering to that individual’s description just shows up one day. They won’t necessarily possess any truly outlandish abilities that have been attributed to them – mostly you get the sort of person of whom the stories could be plausible exaggerations.

Anyway, noodling around with questions in the notes about “crossbreeding”:

The process of creating a dwarf requires that a majority of the contributing craftspeople be dwarves, or else it just doesn’t work, but otherwise there’s no particular rule against including non-dwarves. There’s a fair amount of leeway both in fashioning a dwarf’s physical form and in composing the documents inscribed upon its skin, so cross-species “parentage” is really about incorporating non-dwarven artistic and philosophical influences.

Elfhood is a matter of acculturation, so in principle anybody can become one. In practice, the learning process is considerably more difficult and time-consuming for creatures who already have their own sapience and culture, so conversion to elfhood is uncommon outside of cases like human fosterlings raised by elves, or a non-elf becoming an elf’s spouse. Such individuals may not be fully accepted in certain communities; “half-elf” is one of the politer pejoratives they’re saddled with.

my comic for the 4th issue of @disquietcomics

Good job leading that ship onto the rocks, high-five! 

The Procgen Mansion Generator produces large three-dee dwellings to toy with your imagination, offering various architectural styles and other options. Each mansion even comes with floorplans: