#mycereal <3 (inspired by @fightingchancestudio's post!)
[ID: seven photographs of many differently colored table top dice in a pink cereal bowl with a spoon sticking out of the bowl. End ID]
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@not-enough-dice
#mycereal <3 (inspired by @fightingchancestudio's post!)
[ID: seven photographs of many differently colored table top dice in a pink cereal bowl with a spoon sticking out of the bowl. End ID]

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i miss my friends (i still see them regularly but i don't get to see *that* part of them)
baby dragons whose scales are much more shiny and iridescent in order to hide in their parents' hoards
absolutely excellent top-notch thought here, but now you've got me wondering what's trying to eat them
you misunderstand, this isn't 'I look like the ground so predators walk right past me' camouflage, this is 'I look like the savannah grass so I can pounce on unsuspecting prey' camouflage
they're hiding in the hoards to bite the hands of unsuspecting humans who sneak past mama
Perhaps the shininess also makes them more endearing to adult dragons, increasing the likelihood of adoption if something happens to mama.
maybe dragons collect hoards to camouflage their babies
Let’s hide in the treasure with mama
maybe the real treasure was the dragons you laid along the way
Porcelain Dice Set with Pale Gold Numbering
I've had a couple of people ask for a digestible version of the whole "the real problem with Dungeons & Dragons is false advertising, not anything that's present in its text" thing I keep alluding to, so here's the bullet point version of that argument:
Dungeons & Dragons is owned by Hasbro. Yes, the same Hasbro that owns Monopoly and My Little Pony.
Hasbro wants D&D to be the only tabletop RPG that anyone plays.
In order to accomplish this, Hasbro needs D&D to be a universal entry-level game.
D&D is not a universal entry-level game.
All game rules are opinionated about how the game ought to be played, and as tabletop RPGs go, D&D's rules are more opinionated than most. This is not a flaw, but it's not what Hasbro needs.
D&D is also on the high end of complexity as far as tabletop RPGs go, and it's complex in a way that strongly rewards system mastery, so it's pretty far from "entry level".
Hasbro could produce a version of D&D that's at the very least less opinionated and more entry-level than it presently is, but they don't want to, because they've determined that certain rules features which run counter to both of those goals are critical to D&D's brand identity.
They also don't want to produce multiple versions of D&D tailored for different audiences, because they want every single D&D group to be a potential purchaser of every single D&D product; they'd be effectively competing with themselves for their own customer base if the published game was actually modular in any meaningful way.
So how does Hasbro square that circle?
Simple: they lie. They insist that D&D is in fact a universal entry-level game in spite of all evidence to the contrary, and back their advertising up with sponsored thinkpieces and podcasts and such to "prove" it.
Further, they've spent decades fostering a culture of play which conceals the gap between the game they're advertising and the game they're selling by ascribing any appearance that D&D isn't a universal entry-level game to the incompetence or malice of individual GMs.
The game the rules want to produce disagrees with the game the group wants to play? Nonsense – even the rankest beginner should be able to produce any experience of play using any set of rules, and if your GM can't, they're a Bad GM.
The game is hard to learn? No, it isn't – your GM is merely gatekeeping you. This wouldn't be a problem with a Good GM.
The upshot is that the published rules are more or less irrelevant with respect to achieving the desired experience of play, because they're operating within a culture of play which dumps 100% of the work of making that desired experience of play happen on the GM.
Indeed, much of what modern D&D presents as GMing best practices are really methods of working around the fact that the rules you're using disagree with you about what kind of game you're playing.
(It's not a coincidence that D&D's entrenched culture of play also insists that it's normal for GMs to be miserably overworked and treats GM burnout as a big funny joke, then turns around and loudly wonders why there's a constant GM shortage.)
The trick is, because you're still at least notionally using the rules of D&D, the fruits of all that GM labour are perceived as the product of "playing D&D", not of the GM's hard work.
In essence, Hasbro's business model for Dungeons & Dragons is selling you your own GM's labour with a D&D sticker on it.
It's a very neat trick, if you can pull it off.
Now, at this point some readers may be asking: well, sure, but not all GMs are doormats. What about "killer" GMs who do gatekeep and railroad their players and otherwise act like complete tyrants? I hear horror stories about them all the time.
That's the second trick: these are not opposites. The GM as human Xbox and the GM as tyrant of the table both represent the GM doing all the actual work of making the game happen. The latter isn't the outcome that Hasbro wants, but it's a logical conclusion of the position the want the GM to be in.
I just want to shout out this extremely accurate comment; I used to be one of those hesitant people, and this was exactly why.

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Talking about your campaign feels like being part of a fandom with only 5 people
RPG, but your only playable option is a nicotine addict knight with negative fighting skill
human rpg party chatter: did we make the right choice...? the entire kingdom shall want our heads
elf rpg party chatter: please keep lusty group river bathing time as short as possible, we have a mere 40 years to complete our quest
goblin rpg party chatter: does anyone else feel weird about the way people talk about us on the internet
theyre taking me out back behind the shed presumably to give me a medal for my valor and heroism
*Scrolls past*
*reluctant sigh*
*scrolls back up*
*rebogs*

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inspired tactic from our gm:
Made another thingie for my friend's birthday!
The numbers were by far the most difficult part. I tried to make it look authentic by using actual dice as reference but idk lol
My friend sometimes brings her six-year-old to our DnD sessions and my husband (the DM) lets her roll for all enemy attacks and sometimes he will show her a few figures and let her secretly pick what creature we meet next. Who needs encounter tables when you have a first-grader around
She cheers when the monster is winning.
DM: *places an ugly, slavering, repugnant, spine-tingling creature on the battle map*
Child who can barely see over the table: ᵗʰᵃᵗ’ˢ ᵐᵉ :)

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Goblin Barbarian: How are you with spackle? NPC: I don't usually do sex work. Goblin Rogue: That's not what that word means. Goblin Barbarian: --It's not??
💎 𝗡𝗲𝘄 𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗺! Sisyphean Staff Staff, very rare (requires attunement by a spellcaster) ___ This stone and iron staff depicts a man burdened with boulders and punishment. Despite its material, it only weighs 6 pounds. While holding the staff, you have advantage on any ability check or saving throw you make to avoid falling prone. The staff has 10 charges for the following properties, which use your spell save DC. 𝙈𝙖𝙜𝙞𝙘 𝘽𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙𝙚𝙧. While holding the staff, you can use an action to expend 1 of its charges to magically create and either drop or roll a boulder. If you drop the boulder, it falls at a point that you can see within 60 feet of you; each creature within 5 feet of the point must succeed on a Strength saving throw or take 5d10 bludgeoning damage and be knocked prone. If you roll the boulder, you roll it in a 10-foot-wide line that’s 30 feet long, originating from you; each creature within the line must succeed on a Dexterity saving throw or take 3d10 bludgeoning damage and be knocked prone. Regardless of whether you drop or roll the boulder, a prone creature has disadvantage on the saving throw, and the boulder disappears immediately afterward. 𝙈𝙖𝙯𝙚. While holding the staff, you can use an action to expend 6 of its charges to cast the “maze” spell from it. This version of the spell shunts the creature to a special demiplane where it must push a boulder up a long, arduous hill. To escape, the target must use an action and succeed on a DC 20 Strength (Athletics) check to push the boulder up the hill. It takes 3d6 bludgeoning damage each time it fails the check. When the target escapes, it suffers one level of exhaustion. The staff regains 1d6 + 4 expended charges daily at dawn. If you expend the last charge, roll a d20. On a 1, the staff rusts, crumbles into stone dust and is destroyed. ___ ✨ Patrons get huge perks! Access this and hundreds of other item cards, art files, and compendium entries when you support The Griffon’s Saddlebag on Patreon for as little as $3 a month!