Cascadian Dweller

She felt his words brush over her mouth, “Tess…fuck…I’ve wanted this…” Wanted this for so long. He didn’t need to finish the sentence. It was a sentiment that she shared viscerally.

“I know.” It ruined her, knowing that she might have indulged this fantasy sooner for all the good it had done to preserve her career. It ruined her, knowing that she was headed for a court-martial anyway despite all those nights she denied herself the temptation of seeking him out for fear of that needling scrutiny. She had enjoyed being the darling of the Alliance for so long – to fall from that grace would devastate her. It was devastating her.

So she took what little comfort that she could as they raced to Ilos.

She let him slip his tongue into her mouth, meeting it with her own as she moaned, arching against him. His hands slid down over her hips and palmed her ass, pulling her thighs apart as he pressed his own thigh against her crux, rubbing and stimulating her through their clothes, and she could feel how hard he was as he ground into her hip. She ran her hands through his hair – that silky-soft dark hair that she had wanted to sink her fingers into for weeks with no avenue to slake that craving. She yanked softly and he sighed into her mouth.

He pled against her lips, “Tess…let me see your body…let me touch you the way I’ve been wanting to…” It was the crack in his voice that broke her dam. She whimpered – a sound she didn’t know she could make anymore – and she leaned back against her desk to pluck at her shirt buttons. As she did, he leaned into her and sucked at her throat, and as the first few buttons came undone, she felt his hand slid across her clothed sex.

“Kaidan.” Her shirt was fully open, and he tugged it down her arms, puddling the clothing behind her. He unclasped her bra himself, and as soon as her breasts were bare, his mouth was on her. He drew circles around her nipples with his tongue, thumbing the opposite nipple with a flicking motion, and she swore she would come just from that. Her hands went back to his hair, and they fisted as he switched sides.

Pressure against her lower belly returned as he pressed a hand to the opening of her pants. “You good, Shepard?” She chuckled huskily, still a little uncertain he was even here with her.

“I’ll be a lot better once your uniform is on my floor.” His mouth stilled at her collarbone, and then he looked down at her waistband.

He chuckled darkly, “Ranking officer goes first.” At least they were making jokes about the breach of protocol. There still was a small part of her brain that felt like she was about to get in trouble, and not for anything else but this, but he was making it easier with how willingly he conspired with her. He slowly undid the zipper, and as he did, he sank to his knees before her. She could feel everything pull into an odd focus, like there was nothing else in the galaxy but him and her. His dark eyes looked up at her, still seeking permission, and when she did not protest, when she raised her hips to his chin, he raised his hands to draw her waistband down over her hips, her buttocks, her thighs, and he held them down at her ankles to step out of. She did so delicately, not wanting to appear in a rush.

As soon as she was naked, he ran a wide palm up her leg over her belly, and he murmured, “Goddess of all seas is right. Your parents didn’t know what they did when they named you.”

She tried to push out a laugh past the choke of her arousal. “Bringing up my parents in the bedroom…bold move, Alenko.” He grinned.

He rasped, “Yeah…well…I gotta make sure you’re with me, that it's not just the heat of the moment.” She carded her hand through his hair, still lost in how soft it was.

“Oh…I’m definitely with you.” He kept grinning, right up until the moment she saw the smell of her arousal hit him, and then his eyes darkened as his focus turned to her core.

“Tess…Tess, I…” He looked at her sex hungrily as his hand dropped down to her mound, and she could hear her heart beating in her ears as his thumbs parted her folds. “Fuck, you’re so wet, Tess. You’re not fooling around here, are you?” But before she could answer, his mouth was at the top of her thigh and his fingers slipped across her petaled flesh straight to her clit. How often had she imagined him touching her like this? And yet it paled in comparison – the real thing was a thousand times more intoxicating, a thousand times more cementing. Even if this was the only time they ever got to touch each other like this, she would remember this for eons after. He had been right when he said that this, him and her, would never happen again, regardless of the cycle of the universe.

He made it all worthwhile.

His tongue pressed a promise of everlasting devotion into her sex, swiping through and tasting all those weeks of pent-up wanting. She released a litany of praise as he pressed her thighs open, one hand bracing herself on the desk, the other still wrapped in the curls of his crown. He moaned into her, the hum of it sending her sky-high as the tip of his tongue traced the seam of her entrance before his lips finally wrapped around her peak to pull and suck. As she watched him worship her, drink up her desire, she observed with infinite incredulity as he unzipped his own pants and freed his erection. She salivated as he grasped his shaft and pumped slowly, firmly. She could barely make out the little drop of arousal beading on his tip, but it was there, and she longed to taste it. Later, Tess. We’ve got a few hours to Ilos. Later...

Watching him please himself as he pleased her was what sent her over the edge. Her thighs trembled, her cunt spasmed as he swirled his tongue through her, and she felt a great flush as her orgasm ripped through her. He continued to lick her through her peak until she was long past overstimulated. As she tried to push his head away, he pressed his advantage, tensing his grip on her thighs, not done with the taste of her. When she continued to squirm, he looked up with a smirk and purred, “Tapping out, Shepard? Aren’t you the big, bad Spectre who can handle anything?” Her knees were weak at his teasing.

She managed a feeble return-shot, “How’s a woman supposed to be big and bad when she’s got a big, bad man making a mess out of her?” There was that heavy silence again, broken only by the rustle of clothes as Kaidan slid his shirt over his head and slipped his pants down to his feet.

It was important to Tess that their ranks never made it here, into this space between them. On deck, on the battlefield, on mission – that was different. She was in power. But here – she let him lead. She had to. She had to ensure beyond a shadow of a doubt that even with their impending doom, there could never be any room to allege that she had pressed him into doing anything he wasn’t eager and ready to do. It would always be his choice.

So when he stood before her, his hand still on his dick, murmuring, “You got me on that one,” she obliged him as he turned her to face the desk. The prod of his erection against her thigh was delicious, and as he slipped and rubbed his dick between her damp thighs, that ache in her belly amplified. She leaned back into him, pressing her ass into the cradle of his hips.

“Oh god, please…”Clearly, she was not above begging. He kissed her shoulder as he wrapped an arm around her waist.

There was a soft laughter in his voice when he assured her, “Whatever you want, Tess. I’ve got you.” He guided his penis against her entrance, and as he pressed in, she melted. Waves upon waves of relief clashed in the crosswinds of harried desire, the sensation of being filled and stretched and having that spongy place behind her pubic bone prodded ever so sweetly, and she felt like she was frothing at the mouth as he stilled inside her. He growled into her neck, “You feel so…so good. You feel like heaven.” He slowly backed out of her, then sank back in with a sharp thrust, and she gasped. “My beautiful goddess…my Tethys.” Her name echoed in the echelons of her bloodstream as he set his pace, pounding into her, rolling his hips up into her and hitting that delectable spot with an uncanny precision.

His fingers found their way back to her clit, and he diligently stroked her with circular sweeps that brought her close to tears. The sensation elicited a growl from deep within her, and another orgasm ripped through her. His fingers worked her through it, and she thought she would vaporize on his dick if he didn’t stop. She arched back against him as everything seemed to tense and clench. “Oh, fuck!” Her head fell back onto his shoulder, and he bit into her neck, sucking a bruise into her skin as he clutched her body to his, still rocking her into the desk.

Electricity surged down her spine as he growled, “God, Tess, you are so perfect when you come on my dick…you feel so fucking good when you do that. You have to know how fucking perfect you are…and I’m going to get you to do it again.” As he spoke, his fingers wove into her hair and his thrusts picked up, and in return, she reached up to touch her fingers to his jaw. She leaned back and let him kiss her again, let him thrust his tongue back into her mouth, and when he moaned again, she felt him rut inside her as his orgasm brought him to his own beautiful devastation. He ripped his mouth away and pressed his forehead to her ear as he grunted and gasped through it. If she was perfect, he was otherworldly, from a higher plane of existence.

They collapsed on the desk, Kaidan’s throbbing cock still emptying inside her, his climax spilling down her thighs as it mixed with hers. More, her body sang. Need more.

She felt him pull out and pull her hips up, turning her delicately in his arms. “Tethys…” No one had ever called her by her full name. It sounded like a prayer in his mouth, a supplication, and she allowed the use of it if only because of how he had used it to worship her. He kissed her gently, and she wrapped her arms around his neck to steady herself.

She swallowed thickly. “Shit, Kaidan…you fuck like you have something to prove.” He nuzzled her nose and ran his hands up her ribs.

“Just trying to impress you.”

“Color me impressed. I can’t feel my brain.”

He pressed his forehead to hers. “I meant what I said, Tess.”

“What’s that?” He threaded his fingers into her curls and tugged her head back so she met his gaze. He tilted his head back and smirked.

“We’ve got three hours to Ilos, and you don’t need to suit up for another two. I’m going to get you to come on my dick again. Give me a couple minutes and I’ll do it…I want you screaming.” She swore she felt her blood drain from her head. Where did this upstanding officer learn to talk dirty the way he did?

He pulled her to the bed, and as he did, she felt everything wobble. He pulled her into his lap, and when she straddled him, he pulled her down into a searing kiss that blurred everything but him. She ached and she wanted, and when he rolled her under him, she gleamed like a shining fish teasing a leering cat from the ledge of a pool.

He noticed immediately as he pressed a kiss to her dimple, scoffing, “Shepard, you don’t have to look so damn smug.”

She wiggled her hips as he dragged his hand up from her waist to her jaw. “Then you better wipe the smile off my face.” She pulled her legs up and ground her sex up his thigh, leaving a stripe of arousal across his skin. He dropped his eyes to her mouth and brought another open-mouthed kiss upon her, tongues touching, teeth clacking, lips sealing. His hand went to her sex again, and she grabbed his wrist. “Or…” Then she levered him over and twisted him underneath her. “I can earn my smugness.” She’d wanted his dick in her mouth – now was her chance.

She pulled back and worked her way down his body, pausing to lick a nipple and getting him to arch into her mouth. She took his semi in her hand and brought her mouth down to it, her one hand clutching his testicles as she drew the other up and down the base of him. He tasted tart and salty – a mix of their releases – and she hummed as he quickened in her mouth, hardening into silky steel. She teased her tongue along the small slit at his tip, and he cursed under his breath.

There were all sorts of things she could do to make him see stars, but she kept it simple. She bobbed her head up and down along his length, hollowing her cheeks out as she sucked, and then she released him with a pop, dragging her tongue along the underside of his shaft in long zig-zags until she could feel the quiver of his thighs under her hand. She put the tip of him back in her mouth and dragged her lips over him on repeat until she heard a breathless whimper, and she lifted her head, thumbing over where she had been attending. She purred, “Well, Alenko? Am I allowed to look smug now?” It was his turn to look ruined.

He whined, “Hell of a time to stop.” She grinned.

“I just thought you’d like that opportunity to make me scream…a little edging never hurt anybody.” He choked out what approximated a laugh.

“Big words from a woman whose had three orgasms already.” She scoffed and licked her lips.

Her eyebrow shot up as she corrected him. “Two, babe. You keep talking a big game about that third one.” He shot her a hungry look and she crawled back up his body to rub his dick through her folds, making his nostrils flare. She nuzzled him and took an earlobe between her teeth. “Kaidan, you’d better follow through…or it’s going to be a long ride to Ilos for both of us.” He grasped her hips and rolled her once more, and when she wrapped her legs around his waist, he pulled her legs up over his shoulders.

His hands grasped the backs of her thighs. “Well, we can't have that.” He gave a few testing thrusts through her folds, and when he was satisfied, he pressed back into her, prompting her to whine at the new angle. He hissed, "Shit," and she couldn't blame him. Even she could feel how tightly she coiled around him.

It was everything being pinned underneath him, folded in half, completely at his mercy. If she had thought his pace had been eager before, it felt like a damn sprint now as he thumbed her clit to the tempo of his thrusts. She was utterly enraptured as he canted into her, watching her as she writhed beneath him, clawing at her sheets with that crinkle between his eyebrows he got when he was deeply focused. Then she felt that crescendo within her rise again, that pitter-patter of everything clenching, and she reached down to grip his thigh. True to his word, he had her screaming into her pillow as she came to a devastating pinnacle.

The flood of endorphins was deafening, but by some miracle she could hear Kaidan groaning out her name again as he filled her, seeped out onto the bed sheets as he rocked out the last dredges of desire into her. He finally dropped to his elbows and sank into her embrace. The shudder that went through him echoed her own altitude, and she wrapped her arms around his waist to draw lazy lines across his back. They lay like that for a long time: wasted, silent, and sated.

She swallowed thickly and it was like an out-of-body experience when she whispered, “I love you.” His body tensed as he registered the words, and then he nuzzled into her neck.

“I love you, Tess. I’ve loved you since the start. I’m glad I get to love you before the shit hits the fan and we all have to reckon with our destinies.” She twirled a finger in the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Well, according to you, I’m ‘destined for the firmament’ anyway, so if you are any expert, my destiny sounds pretty set.” He huffed a small laugh into her neck and rolled to her side. She repositioned so she could look at him more comfortably and she felt her breath catch. Here was a sight she thought she would never see: Kaidan Alenko sinking into her pillow, fucked out, grinning like he’d won the lottery, and refusing to take his eyes off of her.

He took her hand in his. “Heh, yeah, you’re pretty set, huh? I guess it’s the rest of us who have final rites to prepare.” Solemnity covered his face like a mourning shroud, and she knew. She knew it was time to take one last breath before the plunge.

So she wriggled closer and settled her head on his chest, and as his arms enveloped her tightly, the last thing she murmured before she drifted off was: “Isn’t that what this was?”

He pressed his cheek to her head, and his voice rumbled through his chest as he replied softly, “Yeah, Tess. I sacrificed my beating heart at the altar of the goddess of all seas, and she bestowed her favor upon me. Maybe my destiny is all set too.”

---

Outside, Liara and Garrus were sitting at the mess table, playing cards. They’d been working hard to corral crew out of there as they came out looking for snacks or trying to take a break from working. Liara had seen Kaidan make a beeline for Shepard’s cabin, and she had known exactly what he’d been after. She’d grabbed Garrus as he’d gone to the main battery to tune it up before what he referred to as ‘the big showdown’, and she’d told him what was happening. When Kaidan had not emerged soon after, they knew, and more than that, they knew there could be no witnesses.

Garrus dryly remarked, “It’s about time – if I have to watch Alenko giving Shepard those wide-eyed looks of longing anymore, I was going to start vomiting on cue.”

Liara smirked. “I believe the humans refer to that look as ‘puppy eyes’.”

Garrus laid down a card and ended his turn. “Really? I’ve heard the term ‘cow eyes’.

Liara frowned. “Aren’t cows what humans raise for food?”

“Yeah?”

“I…see. An odd metaphor.”

“I think it is more a reference to the size and color of the eyes. Big and brown, usually, at least as I understand it.”

“Ah.”

“Aren’t puppies the adolescent version of the animals they raise for hunting and companionship?”

“Dogs? I believe so.” Liara set down her card, and Garrus swore.

“Dammit. You’ve been holding onto that one.”

She smiled slyly, then looked at the door to the captain’s cabin with a gentler gaze. “They’ve been in there a long time.” Garrus snorted.

“They probably screwed each other’s brains out and are sleeping it off. It’s the natural thing to do, considering what we are about to do.” Liara cocked a brow at him.

“Yes, I’ve heard stories about how turians relieve stress on their dreadnaughts. I’m surprised there aren’t more problems with abuse of power in the turian military.” Garrus shuffled in his seat.

“Well, if everyone is screwing everybody, it’s not something you can hold over anyone’s head, right? And besides…the emotional element isn’t as present an issue as it is for humans.” Liara hummed. Ah, yes...that pesky human pack-bond…isn’t it funny?

“I suppose that's true…”

Garrus cleared his throat as he sorted his cards. “Anyway. As I was saying. They probably screwed each other’s brains out and are sleeping it off. If I’d been pining after someone I couldn’t sleep with for months, I’d probably overindulge as well once that seal was broken. Especially if we were on a suicide mission."

“That’s a good point.” She smiled over at the door.

“Which reminds me. I owe Joker 60 credits. He wagered they'd be intimate before they got back to Earth, and I naively thought they were more principled than to just give all that up in the face of overwhelming odds. There!” Garrus laid out another card and beamed. “Let’s see you beat that.” Liara looked down, observed what Garrus believe to be a winning hand, and smiled another sly smile.

“With pleasure.” She laid out her trump card, and she laughed as she watched his face fall.

“Shit.”

"You can't out-run destiny, Vakarian."

---

"Kaidan?"

"Mmm. Yeah, Tess."

"You coming to Ilos with me?"

"Mmm...yeah, babe. You'd have to throw me in the brig to keep me from watching your back."

"Aren't you scared?"

"Yeah...but not as much if you'll be with me."

"Oh...good."

"...Tess?"

"Yeah."

"You scared?"

"Shitless. But you make me feel like I can take on the whole galaxy, so I made my peace with it."

"Good." In the dark of the cabin, the commander received one last kiss on the cheek from her lieutenant. "Gotta suit up soon, huh?"

"Yeah..."

"Five more minutes?" Sheets rustled softly as he spooned her, resting his arm over her waist, and she melted into the contact.