NAH

me burning the candle at both ends: oobh i got plany off wick

That punchline hit me like a sack of wet mice

Like a sack of what

Sometimes listening to straight girls talk is so wild they’ll be like “it sucks that I’m tall because I love heels so much but I can’t wear them because then I’ll be taller than my boyfriend!!!” and just like what in the goddamn hell are you talking about

Ok yeah that lake is superior

Oh those Mexicanised dishes.

a flaccid dick is so so so beautiful actually i get why all the statues and paintings have soft dicks theyre so lovely like a small woodland creature you just want to cup them in your hands and drop your voice to a whisper in pure awe

Offlacid Penis Post