i dont wana

Arugula is some crap they found on the ground for real

thats because its plance. there are others as well

Every morning, I put on my thinking cap and my smartiepants. Unfortunately, there is no shirt that properly proclaims my intellectual abilities, so I have to go tits out

a customer returned a drink because a fly flew into it and said: “one of your flies flew into my drink” and my coworker was so confused that they just said: “…my fly?”

they're putting me on the cover of times magazine and also putting a cup over me and there's even talk of taking me outside

lets All lock in starting Right Now

starts talking about my emotional state with 2 degrees of abstraction instead of 7 and the sniper across the street who i pay to keep me in line fires a warning shot thru my little hoop earring

wait can someone explain what this means to me I really want to know

if i am candid about how i feel i will die like john f kennedy

idk who needs to hear this but if you have been putting something off bc it doesn't need to be done until the end of the month. we are almost done with the teens we are approaching the big numbers (the twenties). that date shall dawn upon you swiftly and without mercy before you know it. psa for everyone except me i got plany off time

I’m gonna do it! I’m gonna do the dishes!

I did it! It sucked but I did it!