No Point Being Miserable

whatever. go my scallops

last night I had the experience of "referencing a tumblr post that you think is widely known but turns out to not be as widely known as you thought it was" last night and it was this post. whatever. go my scallops

relatedly: probably no one has made greater contributions to Posting than dr roberta bobby

when i was at walgreens (at 3 in the morning which explains all of this) the cashier was talking to her coworker about how shed rather be a werewolf than a vampire because vampires are condemned to hell but werewolves arent and then she asked me what i thought and i said vampire because im already condemned to hell and she said in the nicest tone of voice “i dont think anybody is condemned to hell….” paused, stared at me for a few moments, and added on “…not even gay people” 

Happy pride month to the filthiest most brutal read I’ve ever been given in my life

When politicians say "we gotta appeal to the working class" you have to keep in mind that in their imaginations, the working-class person is basically a form of ogre-like creature whose existence consists of backbreaking manual labor and seething with Every Single Bigotry.

And, unfortunately, they are just correct enough to take congress and the house and the presidency.

No, I think the past decade of trying to compromise with an imagined majority of turbo-bigoted troglodytes has pretty consistently served to kneecap liberal and left-wing parties who try it around the world by alienating their actual voter bases, enabling right-wing parties in spite of their unpopular ideas and policies.

not now kitten, mommy’s fantasizing about a life that never was and never will be

They say ooooh be a good boy for daddy and you'll get a reward. But then the reward is just gay sex. This is bullshit. I wanted a skateboard

Then they say if you're a bad boy daddy will punish you. But what's the punishment? More gay sex! You can't escape it. This whole damn place is in the pocket of Big Sex

Here’s your 1,000mg prescription of reassurance