“Ode to Elliot Smith, Ending in the First Snow Snowfall of 2003” The Crown Ain’t Worth Much by Hanif Willis-Abdurraqib
[ID: The poem, which reads:
"& when they come for us & whatever is left of our spectral bodies /
tells them that we were always as lonely as we were the day we were /
pulled from our mothers, thrashing & cold /
when screaming was the only language & therefore it was a gift & /
not the burden it is when trying to call out to a lover quickly /
evaporating into shadows /
as your own blood congregates in your lungs /
on the day when the knife grew impatient in its demanding of flesh, /
six of us piled into the corner booth at twin palace /
& emptied our nearly barren pockets so that we could order two /
plates of beef fried rice because /
if you pretend to love enough /
you will never go to bed hungry & /
we don’t have any money to tip but we leave anyway because other /
people’s hunger is not our problem once we are fed & we took /
extra fortune cookies & /
Kristen’s said Drink up, baby. Look at the stars & /
Rick’s said everything you were born with will provide you with infinite /
warmth & we laugh at the starless night sky dressed in thick clouds /
& how Rick shivers even though it is only October & the air /
is not supposed to settle into our bones with knives /
until months from now when we /
lie to our families about why we won’t /
be coming home for Christmas break & Kristen yells /
all fortunes are liars at the sky & it answers back /
with heavy white powder that licks /
at the sidewalks & rests in our hair until we /
are covered in this broken promise of stars & warmth /
& I look at the discarded fortunes & the broken cookies that /
once held them & I wonder if this /
is how our parents see us now promising gifts /
a loving shell only to grow into another disaster /
uninvited & spreading itself along the streets with a /
slow crawl & the wind blows one last tiny strip /
& it lands on my shoe & says WE ARE ALL GOING /
TO DIE ALONE & I don’t tell anyone the truth /
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