Hello all! Here’s a list of my Critical Role/Shadowgast fics, for your reference and reading pleasure.
MOST RECENT FIC:
“a shared household”
Shadowgast
Rated G
1.1k words
Essek and Caleb have shared many things over the years, and during a quiet evening, they decide to share one more. (this comic provides a sillier but more detailed summary)
COMPLETED FICS:
“On the Nature of Love” series, or Eve’s acespec shadowgast cinematic universe:
“Miss You Dearly”
Shadowgast
Rated G
4.6k words (3/3 chapters)
My rom-com era 💕
At the close of Trent Ikithon’s trial, Essek is invited to a Mighty Nein reunion party on the Nein Heroez, and the wizards spend a fair bit of that time pining.
“All Things End, All Things Change”
Shadowgast
Rated T
2.8k words (2/2 chapters)
The wizards make a decision at the T-Dock, and Caleb gets a moment to grieve.
“How To Rest”
Shadowgast
Rated T
17.7k words (6/6 chapters)
Six snapshots across six months in the lives of two wizards falling in love. Each chapter can be read on its own, but all contribute to the broader narrative.
“On the Nature of Attraction”
Shadowgast
Rated T
7.5k words
My magnum opus. My beloved.
The wizards are ace (both of them!!!) and very in love. Boundaries are set and respected.
Fics, not otherwise specified:
“Home In Your Arms”
Shadowgast
Rated T
2.2k words
After defeating the Weave Mind, Caleb reunites with Essek.
“Above All”
Shadowgast
Rated G
1.3k words
Bells Hells pester Essek about his preferences and partner. (written pre-c3e96)
An examination of the Bright Queen’s feelings towards and relationship to Essek, before and after his betrayal.
“oh, by the way”
Beau & Caleb, background Shadowgast
Rated G
932 words
Caleb drops the “Essek-and-I-are-dating” bomb on Beauregard, and his timing is, as always, impeccable.
“The Shadowhand Becomes a Baker”
Shadowgast
Rated G
2.1k words
Essek bakes pastries and Caleb is soft about it.
First critrole fic. Inspired by the theory that the Shadow Baker from Campaign 3 is Essek in disguise.
WORK IN PROGRESS FICS:
—How to Rest coda fic
—On the Nature of Attraction follow-up fic
—A fic that is currently in the outlining phase, affectionately titled “kissy kissy uwu”, or the Shadowgast get-together fic. Takes place shortly after the wizards’ solo Aeor trip, featuring a BeauYasha wedding and “the joyful yet agonizing state of being in the same vicinity as your crush and knowing that there’s something there but being too scared to make any moves.”
I was originally planning on this being a fairly chunky one shot, but it has gotten much bigger during the planning stages, so it may end up being multi-chapter. We’ll see.
I am very excited to work on this one!
—A silly AU/crack treated seriously fic focused on the Thelyss brothers and their relationship. Maybe a hint of background Shadowgast if there is a place for it. Outlined fairly well, but on the back-burner while I work on “On the Nature of Love”.
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I happened to relisten to Bodily Autonomy on the first day of June, and though I am very frustrated with his most recent behavior, I cannot help but feel a great deal of sympathy for Merlin. And because it is pride and I’ve been nursing an aroace!Merlin headcanon pretty seriously since I first listened to Bodily Autonomy, I hope he has an aroace revelation that will allow him to express the hurt the Biological Man and Felix have caused him. I doubt it will lessen the pain (might even make it worse at first tbh), but I want him to understand himself, and interrogating his feelings and communicating them will help with that.
Because the thing is, his feelings are so valid—the anger, the betrayal, the wishing things were different—but instead of addressing the root of the problem (that he is hurting and no one’s at fault and there’s no quick fix) and working through it, he's being a stubborn, passive-aggressive, narrow-minded jerk about it. He's running so hard from the pain he will inevitably feel that he's starting to sabotage all his relationships!
so yeah. grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him while also asking with genuine concern if he's ever heard of aromanticism and asexuality.
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In 2026, the chicest thing a gay actor can do is never explicitly come out as gay but also make it abundantly clear that he is. Coming out is too modern. Staying closeted is too old fashioned. But this method merges contemporary freedom with Old Hollywood glamour and allure, and it weeds out the dumbest people who truly don’t get it. I call it the Pascal Method.
You clearly don't go here or to queer history and signaling, or both, enough to have this conversation and I'm not going to explain it to you. You could have asked questions, you could have done even a modicum of research. You didn't and you made yourself look ignorant. Goodbye.
#I'm fucking crying#this is an instant classic#this is the next meme#i can't believe I'm here to see a baby copypasta nary two hours old#I can't#lol#i laughed way too hard#iconic
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It's interesting that while Merlin is complaining about people no longer listening to him, he's also clearly not listening to the Biological Man. The Biological Man isn't proposing that he completely take over Merlin's life, job, and relationships, he just wants to be treated like a living person with rights, thoughts, feelings, and agency. It's Merlin who implies that the Biological Man wants him to slip into the role he (Merlin) created the Bocular Man for, the Biological Man makes no such insinuations. Instead it seems like he wants to find a way for them to work and live alongside each other as peers, Merlin simply finds the idea impossible to fathom.
It's understandable why Merlin is thinking this way, he desperately wants things to go back to normal and for him normal means having his old body back and having a technological but not sentient Bocular Man at his side and is also terrified he's being replaced since everyone else in the Crew in his mind likes the Biological Man better than they like him. However his natural hardheadness means that when the Biological Man tells him they need to find a way to work together, or when Cleo says it's a bad thing to try and manipulate people into doing what he wants, he doesn't internalize what they're saying because it's not what he wants to hear. Which is also why he's so receptive to Steve, because he does tell him what he wants to hear, that he's still a brilliant and innovative cosmologist that Steve respects as a colleague. So he also internalizes the rest of what Steve is telling him which is that only he can understand Merlin and that he's only going to face more hostility the further along this road he goes, and thusly, Steve is the only person he can trust.
Steve's manipulation of Merlin is very smooth, very deliberate and targeted, and it does seems to be working exactly as he intended it to... but there is one thing he has not yet properly accounted for:
The one-woman anti-cult-bullshit machine that is Ripley Rawfield.
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