take me to (cowboy) church

Had the perfect amount of phlegm in my throat to give my lower pitch a wonderful resonance and I sounded like a youtube voiceover. But I cleared my throat and it was gone. Because only the transient is beautiful

my notifications are once again devolving into a spirited debate about the ethics of actions that could potentially make someone uncomfortable, and at risk of sounding like someone about to get a lot of irate anons I think we're frankly giving way too to much moral weight to hypothetical discomfort

the thing about discomfort is that it's an extremely nebulous category that can be triggered by virtually anything and that's far too broad a category to have any inherent moral quality to it. like. my mom was mad uncomfortable when I stopped shaving. that didn't mean I was doing violence against my mom it just meant she needed to get over herself. many such cases it must be said.

anyway rn my notes are full of a lot of "you should never try too hard to befriend people because you might make them uncomfortable" and "you should never tell people you're attracted to them because you might make them uncomfortable" and I guess I'm just wondering why we're acting like a little social awkwardness is the worst thing that could happen to a person

*putting my hand in the cavernous space between what you are and what you pretend to be, and wiggling it around* woah haha is there meant to be that much emptiness here? lol are you like okay bestie? omg this kind of tickles my hand does this tickle your nothing? #yournothing <3

it's okay for you to find this post sexual. I put the sensual feeling in there on purpose. you don't need to do weird posturing about it.

a friend has informed me that this post made its way to bluesky. they're putting pieces of my soul on other websites. I want to hear about it any time you see one. collect my evil screenshots, like a slenderman but I'm fat.

i have [gestures vaguely] my tendencies

imagine getting accused of losing on purpose at the strip game but you’re really seriously trying your best

this fetish stuff is getting out of hand what the fuck is word play

was just thinking how nice it would be to swear fealty to someone

has anyone considered that it was probably her house too. where else was she supposed to put her chintz?

a CEO walks into his office “any messages?” he asks his assistant “two anons want to know who tom petty is and one just says ‘post your ballsack’” “got it. check my dashboard” “that skeleton gif you like is back again” he rubs his chin pensively “mm. reblog that”

i see people saying andy weir isnt good at writing female characters and i think that’s fair and true and should be said, but also. characters of any kind are not really his strength lets be real

“why did they change grace/rocky/stratt from their book versions!” “why did they cut out so much!” because otherwise the movie would have been sarcastic smart guy, sarcastic smart alien, and sarcastic smart dutch woman alternating between snarky quips and monologues on sci fi problem solving for 8 hours straight. which may have been fun but probably not a hit movie.

you gotta come to the club man drinks are $18 and were all on our phones googling dog surgery