take me to (cowboy) church

BREAKING: Trump Has Allegedly Signed The White-Gold Concordat And Is In League With The Thalmor 😳🚨

hey don't cry. on december 3, 1926, agatha christie went missing for eleven days and because the uk police didn't know what to do they recruited sir arthur conan doyle, creator of master detective sherlock holmes, but all he did was conduct a séance to try and contact her distressed spirit

Fighting for my life in margaritaville

gothic horror is when there's a location. cosmic horror is when there's an unauthorized fucking Thing. folk horror is when you're outside.

Okay, what is it when there's an unauthorized fucking Thing lurking outside of a location?

Then you’re in John Carpenter’s 1982 masterpiece The Thing

people will really come into kink spaces and say you can't forcefem women like there wasn't a feature length movie about an elderly gay man forcefemming a woman as part of scheme to thwart an elaborate assassination attempt before the killer even determined their target

What... What movie is this.

i was trying so hard to remember the nonexistent assassination subplot in My Fair Lady

today's reason I fucking love the open source community: Ageless Linux, a brand new Debian-based operating system specifically designed to break the law by giving children access to computers that explicitly refuse to track their age.

reblog this post to help a child break the law

free my girl she did all that and that’s what makes her such a compellingly complex character. that’s her essence

in my culture not only do we hate family and food but we also leave our plastic bags loosely strewn all over the floor and we don't even have a quaint little name for a small local convenience store you can buy sandwiches at.

*street shot of zohran mamdani clad in nasty lil suit and hard hat* five months ago i was elected mayor of new york city. in that time, we have managed to COMPLETELY defeat the Staten Island Minotaur at no additional cost to the new york taxpayer

can't believe the only options are 30 minutes early or 10 minutes late. if only there were some other way. but what can you do

Old man, sitting in the pool steps reading his book

UNRESTRAINED SUMMER FUN

today at work i rung up a customer and the total was 12.30 and i said “12:30, reminds me of a clock :)” and they kind of smiled at me with confusion and i was like “like the time on a clock, just reminds me of it… 12:30” and they said “i have no idea what you’re talking about…” with an expression of supreme pity and gentleness. after that was finished i turned to my coworker next to me and said “i just bombed so hard with this clock comment” and then realized the customer hadn’t moved and was still standing right next to me. if my fate continues down this path, the customer will probably read this tumblr post as well

see one of my problems w movies n tv shows is that they often show a character of like a scientist or a historian and try and make them extremely boring but that shit just doesnt work on me. theyll b like 'well in 13th century turkey...' n everyone will b like ughhh shut up professor dinglebarry no one cares and like. well excuse me. stop the movie. id like to hear more about 13th century turkey.